Page 16 of 18

Posted on

Who have you been with?

Acts 4:7-8 (AMP) When they had put the men in front of them, they repeatedly asked, “By what sort of power, or in what name [that is, by what kind of authority], did you do this [healing]?” Then Peter, filled with [the power of] the Holy Spirit, said to them…

John and Peter worked side by side in ministry. John was referred to as the beloved and we know Peter to be quick to act and speak. They still ministered together. The early church was about unity. The early church was about pointing everyone to Christ. Think about what the body of Christ would do today if we focused on just that. Instead, if we have a “Peter” we talk about how too harsh or crass they are and draw away from them. Not realizing their heart is pure. We are a people who judge on the outward, but God does not.

As I was praying yesterday before church, I came across chapter 4 of the Book of Acts in one of my devotionals. Peter and John had just healed a man.They have a crowd they are talking to at this point, proclaiming the Name of Jesus, reported that 5,000 men received salvation! There were the Sadducees and the temple guards listening and becoming very annoyed, some translations say indignant. So they have them arrested. Peter and John spend an evening in jail, then are brought before the magistrates and priests. When asked by what sort of power, or in what name did they do this healing, it was Peter who spoke up. It says he was filled with the power of the Holy Spirit.

Peter said, “if we are being put on trial today [to interrogate us] for a good deed done to [benefit] a disabled man, as to how this man has been restored to health, let it be known and clearly understood by all of you, and by all the people of Israel, that in the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, whom you [demanded be] crucified [by the Romans and], whom God raised from the dead—in this name [that is, by the authority and power of Jesus] this man stands here before you in good health. This Jesus is the stone which was despised and rejected by you, the builders, but which became the chief Cornerstone. And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among people by which we must be saved [for God has provided the world no alternative for salvation].” Acts 4:9-12 (AMP)

Acts 4:13 (AMP) Now when the men of the Sanhedrin (Jewish High Court) saw the confidence and boldness of Peter and John, and grasped the fact that they were uneducated and untrained [ordinary] men, they were astounded, and began to recognize that they had been with Jesus.

They recognized that these men had been with Jesus. It reminded me of another story in the Bible about a life change happening after she had been with Jesus: John 4:28-30 (AMP)  Then the woman left her water jar, and went into the city and began telling the people, “Come, see a man who told me all the things that I have done! Can this be the Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed)?” So the people left the city and were coming to Him.

They recognized that these men had been with Jesus.

To finish up this chapter in the book of Acts, verses 14-22 says, And seeing the man who had been healed standing there with them, they had nothing to say in reply. But after ordering them to step out of the Council [chamber], they began to confer among themselves, saying, “What are we to do with these men? For the fact that an extraordinary miracle has taken place through them is public knowledge and clearly evident to all the residents of Jerusalem, and we cannot deny it. But to keep it from spreading further among the people and the nation, let us [sternly] warn them not to speak again to anyone in this name.”  So they sent for them, and commanded them not to speak [as His representatives] or teach at all in the name of Jesus [using Him as their authority]. But Peter and John replied to them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you and obey you rather than God, you must judge [for yourselves]; for we, on our part, cannot stop telling [people] about what we have seen and heard.”  When the rulers and Council members had threatened them further, they let them go, finding no way to punish them because [of their fear] of the people, for they were all praising and glorifying and honoring God for what had happened; for the man to whom this sign (attesting miracle) of healing had happened was more than forty years old.

A few take aways for me from these passages were: 1) John and Peter worked together. They had different personalities. They did not point to one another, they pointed to Christ. When you have someone come to you about the flaws of another, point them back to Christ. It hurts my heart when we use divisive words such as “they should not have said that” or “they should not have done that,” especially when you were not witness to it. Inadvertently we are pointing back to ourselves, we should be pointing back to Christ. 2) There was no denying they had been with Jesus. Although we do not have Jesus in His physical form here on earth, He did send the Holy Spirit. We can have a relationship with the Holy Spirit. Can people tell we have been with Him? Sign, wonders, miracles, healings and etc. will follow us when we walk in this relationship.

In 2020, when Covid-19 was causing everything to close, my heart yearned to see the miracles take place. Distractions happened. I lost focus. I let the disappointments of people get in the way. I tried my hardest to focus on His word, but still having hurt in my heart from the disappointments. It is not worth not walking in my calling. He has called us out! Do not fall into the trick of the enemy to get us distracted. Focus back on Christ and get a relationship with the Holy Spirit!

Posted on

He Understands

Ephesians 4:22-25 (AMP) That, regarding your previous way of life, you put off your old self [completely discard your former nature], which is being corrupted through deceitful desires, and be continually renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh, untarnished mental and spiritual attitude], and put on the new self [the regenerated and renewed nature], created in God’s image, [godlike] in the righteousness and holiness of the truth [living in a way that expresses to God your gratitude for your salvation]. Therefore, rejecting all falsehood [whether lying, defrauding, telling half-truths, spreading rumors, any such as these], speak truth each one with his neighbor, for we are all parts of one another [and we are all parts of the body of Christ].

So many of us put our faith in Christ as our Savior, but fail to allow Him to be our redeemer, our healer, our restorer. Christ has done everything He needs to do to be one with us. God lives in me, He sees me, He hears me, He loves me and He understands me. People may not always understand you, but Jesus will always understand you.

I have recently gone through a great heart ache. People in our church have recently walked away from ours to go to another in our area. As pastors it is hard because it feels like a divorce (or that is what those who have never had a divorce would think it feels like). I had a dream about one of them last night. It was a dream of when he and his brother were younger, with short curly hair. In my dream I wept. I also imagined myself using something to dull the feeling of pain. That is something I have never done in the natural, so why would I dream about that?

Galatians 5:16-17 (AMP) But I say, walk habitually in the [Holy] Spirit [seek Him and be responsive to His guidance], and then you will certainly not carry out the desire of the sinful nature [which responds impulsively without regard for God and His precepts]. For the sinful nature has its desire which is opposed to the Spirit, and the [desire of the] Spirit opposes the sinful nature; for these [two, the sinful nature and the Spirit] are in direct opposition to each other [continually in conflict], so that you [as believers] do not [always] do whatever [good things] you want to do.

I have recently been reading about the time in David’s life when his son Absalom was against him. You can read about their tumultuous relationship in 2 Samuel 13-18. David did not send orders to end Absalom’s life. He asked for them to have mercy on his son, the son that was trying to overthrow him. I often think about how we want God to take revenge for us to those that have done us wrong. My husband made a good point yesterday and I have been asking God to help with my heart change. We have have every right to feel the way we do when someone wrongs us…in the natural. However, when we are born again we have to submit those feelings to the Kingdom and let go of our rights.

David writes during this time in Psalms 26:11 (AMP), “But as for me, I shall walk in my integrity; Redeem me and be merciful and gracious to me.”

Psalms 139:23-24 (AMP) Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart; Test me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.

I cannot allow these hurts to hold me back. I cannot beat myself up for them coming up sometimes either. I have to change my focus. I have to allow the Holy Spirit to heal me from the inside out. Remember, Jesus understands. David did have his moments when he cried out to God to hide his iniquity. Psalms 38:16 (AMP), For I pray, “May they not rejoice over me, who, when my foot slips, would boast against me.” We want to hide in our shame. We want to close the doors to our bedroom and not let the light shine in so we can stay in the bed all day long. Let Christ in!

Let me know how I can pray for you today. Let me know if you have moments like this too, or if you are in a season right now that is hard to get out of. I want to pray with you! You can email me at amanda@desiringformore.org.

Posted on

Fresh Bread

Leviticus 24:5-8 (NLT) You must bake twelve flat loaves of bread from choice flour, using four quarts of flour for each loaf. Place the bread before the Lord on the pure gold table, and arrange the loaves in two stacks, with six loaves in each stack. Put some pure frankincense near each stack to serve as a representative offering, a special gift presented to the Lord. Every Sabbath day this bread must be laid out before the Lord as a gift from the Israelites; it is an ongoing expression of the eternal covenant.

I like to bake. Most of my meals for my family is prepared using the oven. As of right now, there are about two different baked goods, on the counter, for my family to grab anytime they want something.

A couple of weeks ago, when I took my mom to the beach, I was reading this book, The God Chasers by Tommy Tenney. It was my second time reading it, first time was about twenty years ago. Chapter two in The God Chasers is titled “No Bread in the ‘House of Bread’ crumbs in the carpet and empty shelves. What are crumbs in the carpet?”

This caused me to do a little research. There would be bread in the tabernacle, behind the curtain that the priests were only allowed to go through. On a golden table there would be two stacks of six (twelve in all) of round loaves of bread. It was referred to as Show Bread.

First of all we think that the show bread is there because is symbolized the manna that fell from heaven, and then there are the twelve tribes as to why there are twelve loaves. Show bread in Hebrew is לחם הפנים‎ lechem haPānīm, literally, “Bread of the Faces”. haPānīm is translated “face” and sometimes intimate/inward relationship. haPānīm according to the Hebrew alphabet, the letters equals 180. In their culture numbers are very meaningful. Moses met with God haPānīm el haPānīm, face to face. So 180 plus 180 equals 360 and that is the circumference of a circle.

So why do we not have bread in our modern services today? John 6:35 (AMP), Jesus replied, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.“

This bread symbolized a personal, face to face, relationship with God. Jesus is not here with us today. The Holy Spirit is though. John 14:16 (AMP), And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), to be with you forever.

What I like is that the bread had to be fresh. If bread is not fresh it gets hard, it gets stale, it gets moldy. Matthew 6:9-11 (AMP), Jesus instructed them, “Pray, then, in this way:‘Our Father, who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. ‘Your kingdom come,Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven. ‘Give us this day our daily bread.”

When I think of a kitchen that is used often we have different smells. You can have a burnt smell, from a house that does not know how to cook. A sour smell, from a house that does not take out the trash enough. There is also the house that has a luring aroma, the house that when you enter your stomach starts grumbling. My kids friends say my house smells like the later. They know where to get a good meal. I believe that is the desire of the Father about His house.

Who brings that bread though? We do, as worshipers. It was not the priests that brought the bread, it was the Israelites. I proposed this to my church yesterday (there is a link to the full message below): Do you come to Sunday service with a fresh expectation or are we expecting to be fed off of the same bread crumbs? Do we think it is not necessary to bring fresh bread, a gift in our worship?

I pray this encourages you that God wants to do something fresh and new in you today. I also pray this encourages you that you desire to give Him your best self today as well. Be blessed!

Link to yesterday’s message Fresh Bread: https://youtu.be/ZM_skPaLI00

Posted on

Should we hide?

Acts 8:1 (AMP) Saul wholeheartedly approved of Stephen’s death. And on that day a great and relentless persecution broke out against the church in Jerusalem; and the believers were all scattered throughout the regions of Judea and Samaria, except for the apostles.

We read in Acts 6 and 7 about the life (in Christ) and the death of Stephen. Saul is still a young man and is witnessing this. What a moment in the history of the early church. A man (innocent) said to have the face of an angel (Acts 6:15) is stoned to death for telling the group before him that they were stiff necked and stubborn just like their fathers before them for resisting the Holy Spirit (Acts 7:51). Saul (later Paul) witnesses all of this and later becomes a persecutor of Christians. We see in the above verse that the believers were scattered.

Where did they scatter to? Did they go in hiding? A relentless persecution had broken out against the church in Jerusalem. If we look to the past, what did they do in the past? Moses ran (Exodus 2:11-15). David ran (1 Samuel 21-24). Elijah ran (1 Kings 19). Should they run and hide?

Acts 8:4 (AMP) Now those [believers] who had been scattered went from place to place preaching the word [the good news of salvation through Christ]. 

Caves were no longer an option for those in Christ. When I was fired nearly three years ago, and told that I was a criminal for the unintentional mistake, my first reaction was to hide. I could have shrunk away from all things ministry. Instead, it propelled me into a deeper relationship with my Father and a deeper understanding of the Holy Spirit. We have to remember, although the angel led Elijah to the cave, it was God constantly calling him out of it.

Why did the persecution come? Why do hardships come? Before the Holy Spirit was released, Jesus gave a great commission, Matthew 28:18-20 (TLB), He told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and earth. Therefore go and make disciples in all the nations, baptizing them into the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and then teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you; and be sure of this—that I am with you always, even to the end of the world.” We have two choices, we can either hide (and use God as our crutch) or we can follow these instructions and GO!

We have not been hidden for later use. There is a great need for Christ in our world. It is in our comfort that we seek the cave. Depression is a real issue. If this is an issue with you and you cannot come out of the cave because of it, it may be time to seek help. It would not be choosing a plan B (other than God). You are not a failure for seeing a counselor, therapist and/or doctor. That was a dangerous and destructive theology…why is it okay to send doctors to the mission field, but not okay for you to see one?

In the last three years I have preached more in my local church, not to say I have not had to fight rejection. I have not had thoughts that I was not enough for people. However, I have stepped out and mentored anyone who has allowed me to. I am not ashamed of the Word and how it changed me.

Acts 1:8 (AMP)  But you will receive power and ability when the Holy Spirit comes upon you; and you will be My witnesses [to tell people about Me] both in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and Samaria, and even to the ends of the earth.

This is what they were missing and why they hid. We have the Holy Spirit. This is why we do not hide! He has not hidden us for later use. It is time for the Body of Christ to come out of hiding and proclaim the word (the good news of salvation through Christ)!

Posted on

In Pursuit

1 Peter 3:11 (AMPC) Let him turn away from wickedness and shun it, and let him do right. Let him search for peace (harmony; undisturbedness from fears, agitating passions, and moral conflicts) and seek it eagerly. [Do not merely desire peaceful relations with God, with your fellowmen, and with yourself, but pursue, go after them!]

Back when I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior, in 1998, there was a couple of popular books going around. There was, Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren and, The God Chasers by Tommy Tenney. This verse made me think of the later. I still have my copy of the book with all my highlights and notes from when I first read it. Rereading the introduction this paragraph stood out to me, “The difference between the truth of God and revelation is very simple. Truth is where God’s been. Revelation is where God is. Truth is God’s tracks. It’s His trial. His path, but it leads to what? It leads to Him. Perhaps the masses of people are happy to know where God’s been, but true God chasers are not content to just to study God’s trail, His truths; they want to know Him. They want to know where He is and what He’s doing right now.”

This has been my hearts desire and why I started Desiring for More. Yes, we are saved by the drawing of the Holy Spirit. You cannot pursue after something that you have no knowledge of.

Mark 10:46-52 (AMP) Then they came to Jericho. And as He was leaving Jericho with His disciples and a large crowd, a blind beggar, Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus, was sitting beside the road [as was his custom]. When Bartimaeus heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout and say, “Jesus, Son of David (Messiah), have mercy on me!” Many sternly rebuked him, telling him to keep still and be quiet; but he kept on shouting out all the more, “Son of David (Messiah), have mercy on me!” Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.” So they called the blind man, telling him, “Take courage, get up! He is calling for you.” Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped up and came to Jesus. And Jesus said, “What do you want Me to do for you?” The blind man said to Him, “Rabboni (my Master), let me regain my sight.” Jesus said to him, “Go; your faith [and confident trust in My power] has made you well.” Immediately he regained his sight and began following Jesus on the road.

The sovereignty of God has come to the point that people accept their place in life, their illnesses, their living situations everything they are as God’s will for our lives. “If He wanted something different for me, He will bring me out of it” mentality. Or, “I am just waiting on God to come through for me.” I know I am stepping on Sovereign toes (golden calves), but there are many times that we see pursuit of God before freedom, the break through, the healing. I know of people who burn sage in their homes to ward off evil spirits. That is weird to me, when I know the One that makes the demons tremble.

Pursuit is not a bad thing. Pursuit does come with expectations though. It may be the disappointments that have caused believers to stop pursing after God. Maybe it is just not knowing that they could. It is up to the ones that are chasing to disciple others in that pursuit. There is something true about fire that we can relate to. If you get close to a fire you will either use it to get warm; you can get closer and you can start to burn; or we could make the choice to jump in and we can catch on fire ourselves. Just like the levels of intensity, we choose the level we want to be at.

I pray this encourages you to pursue! Pursue whatever it is that you have a need of in your life. I pray that you discover that in your pursuit that it is Jesus that you see that meets that need (see John 4:46-47; Mark 1:23-28; Mark 1:40-45; Matthew 8:5-13; Matthew 9:1-8; Matthew 9:18-26; Matthew 9:27-31; Matthew 15:22-28). In also encourage you that you do not seek after a relationship to get, but you do like Bartimaeus and follow.

Matthew 6:33 (AMPC) But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.

Posted on

Joints should not hurt

Hebrews 12:2 (MSG) Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. 

I have to admit I have been a little distracted lately. Have you ever felt that way? It is an attack on the revelation knowledge of the Word of God in my life. I do know that when you get to a new level of revelation that you will be tested in it. I was reading about the unmerited favor of God in our lives as partners with Christ (which so happens to go along with my husbands messages about the assurance of what our inheritance is). Basically, both are coming in line with each other and that is where the challenge happens. The challenge is that I like growth and want to pull those I love along side with me. As a pastor we desire to see growth in others, it is disheartening when people dig their heels in and refuses to budge. My challenge (to be honestly transparent) is to try not to focus there, but continue to allow the work to happen within me and the Holy Spirit to work on them.

Have you ever had that happen? Your thoughts rob you of your joy? You have conversations in your head with someone else? Or you think of the conversations they are having about you with someone else?

I spent many nights in my bed praying for the help to keep my eyes focused on Jesus. Prayers to renew my mind. Prayer to cast down vain imaginations. God, do not allow the enemy to try to rob me of this knowledge so that I can walk in the fullness that You have for me. I want to walk in the abundant life, the complete life. Why? I want to make an impact for good that gives glory back to God. I know that I am called to do it with the body of believers that I am called to.

A few weeks ago, someone in small group said that the body is only as strong as its weakest link. As a body we are suppose to be working together. Ephesians 4:11-13 (AMP) says, And [His gifts to the church were varied and] He Himself appointed some as apostles [special messengers, representatives], some as prophets [who speak a new message from God to the people], some as evangelists [who spread the good news of salvation], and some as pastors and teachers [to shepherd and guide and instruct], [and He did this] to fully equip and perfect the saints (God’s people) for works of service, to build up the body of Christ [the church]; until we all reach oneness in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God, [growing spiritually] to become a mature believer, reaching to the measure of the fullness of Christ [manifesting His spiritual completeness and exercising our spiritual gifts in unity]. Oneness of faith and unity stood out to me. The body of Christ needs to be in unity. Sometimes we start by saying the entire body of Christ, but what if we put it down to our body (the church you are called to). Does that not to be in unity too?

Ephesians 4:16 (AMP) From Him the whole body [the church, in all its various parts], joined and knitted firmly together by what every joint supplies, when each part is working properly, causes the body to grow and mature, building itself up in [unselfish] love.

Every joint supplies. When we apply this to your local body, you get a healthy functioning church. Your body that you are called to can properly mature and become effectual in your community. I always ask people that if you have a ministry and you will not use it in your local body that you are called to, why? The Word just said in here that we are joined and knitted firmly together by what every joint supplies, that joint being your gifting/ministry included within the local church.

How does this get into walking in the blessings that God has for us? It is not a sin issue (not that sin should not be addressed) but it is a unity issue. I am not talking about having unity over the political, sociology and economical issues of our time. I am talking about the working together (yes, I said that bad word work) with the gifts and callings to build up the body of Christ. We, together, walk in the knowledge and truth that God wants to see the body complete, which is another benefit of Jesus going to the cross.

So my question to myself is that, am I being a supplier to my joint? I cannot lose focus on my calling worried about if someone is in theirs. Praying that God will send someone to fill that joint that is willing to. I cannot drag anyone to it, He will fill it. God I release it to you. I will keep doing what you called me to do. I will finish this race and keep my eyes focused on Jesus.

I would love to hear from you if you struggle with the same thoughts sometimes. Message me at amanda@desiringformore.org

Posted on

Say ‘no’ to carpenter ants

Ephesians 1:18-19 (AMP) And [I pray] that the eyes of your heart [the very center and core of your being] may be enlightened [flooded with light by the Holy Spirit], so that you will know and cherish the hope [the divine guarantee, the confident expectation] to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints (God’s people), and [so that you will begin to know] what the immeasurable and unlimited and surpassing greatness of His [active, spiritual] power is in us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of His mighty strength.

I do not know about you, but when something is bothering me I mull over it. This is a good moment for me to call on God and ask for a home inspection (since we are the home of the Holy Spirit). My husband and I have purchased two homes since we married. The first one was a bank repossession and was basically as is. The second home we were making a large investment in and had some money, to put down from the sale of the previous home. Let me add that when we bought our second home I was well into my third trimester with our second child. We physically went and looked at and toured nearly eighty homes (I know, I was exhausting).

We were running short on time and we had settled on a home not too far from our church location at the time. I was not crazy about the schools that we would be district for and the layout of the house was a little weird, but the closets were good and they had just remodeled the kitchen. We paid for a home inspection as we had made an offer. We wanted to make sure the home we were going to buy was solid. A home inspection is a detailed report of all the potential problems the home may have. This home had a lot of problems. First off, those appliances were not even hooked up in the kitchen and they were a long way off from getting to where that was even possible (electrical issues). Those cute gas logs in that nice fireplace were just there to look at, there was nothing hooked up and the fireplace was not usable. Then there were the carpenter ants that had built nests all in that brand new deck they put in, but did not treat, and now had infected the rest of the house. How can something so small cause so much damage! That house was a big no after the home inspection.

Our inspection for His home within us is the Holy Spirit and His Word. God has given us these so that I can clean myself up (a different clean up from that sin life I lived), but a clean up of the years of neglect, hurts, fear, shame and other spiritual baggage that I have been carrying around. These “life problems” can do some serious damage to this home, just like those small carpenter ants did to that home. I do not like that I mull over things so much. Overthinking and over analyzing things robs us of our peace and our joy. It will rob us of our sleep and our confidence of who we are in Christ. Christ purchased this home and paid a high price for it. I am forever grateful and know that I cannot do this life without Him.

Praying for you as you begin this week. Know and cherish this hope, that He sees us as the riches of His glorious inheritance. We ask Him to search within us and open the eyes of our hearts. He who began a good work within us will see it to completion. We are worth the investment!

Posted on

Martha, Martha, Martha!

There is a book called Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World written by Joanna Waver. I own it but have never read it. I think I have pulled it out a couple of times. I usually decide on something else instead. What made me think about this book was this past Easter Weekend. This year we had a fundraiser to send out kids to youth this summer. We took orders for eggs, filled with candy, to be delivered the night before Easter. We ended up with an order of two thousand eggs and twenty nine houses to go to. Awesome! With only a few hiccups…a shortage of plastic eggs in the city and having to find four hundred eggs on Friday, my son being directional challenged and took him way longer than it should to do the houses on his route, and that one of my youth thought it would be funny to do some prank eggs (teenage boys). It went great and we did not have to wash cars!!

On top of this fundraiser I am also helping to plan a Girls Night In and Guys Night Out event. The ladies are coming to my house to watch Joyce Meyer’s Girls Night In and the guys are going to go axe throwing and dinner together. Sounds fun right! Remember my last post that I usually like to know the answers to questions that people are going to ask me. So I became a little overwhelmed.

Then there is Easter Service. We had a regular church service with communion. I just could not bring myself to plan an after fellowship event. I did not plan anything special for the kids. We had a new song prepared and that was just all I could bring myself to do. You see, this Martha World is exhausting. Not because I want to be Martha, but sometimes it seems that is all people see me as. I do not want to plan everything! I do not want to do the order of service, but I do it because people have come to depend on me to do it. I do it because I have been told, you are the only one who can. Why is that?

I long to have people come up beside me and train them up to do the things that I do. I long to mentor those that are in awe of how much I am able to accomplish. Jesus sent His disciples out two by two (Luke 10:1-23). They went out and reported, He did not micromanage. He sent them out and was able to trust that they were doing what He sent them out to do. I long to be able to lead like that!

Do not get me wrong, I love serving! If I did not have anything to do I would probably go nuts. Sometimes I ask myself, “Amanda, are you doing too much?” “If you did not do it, is it really necessary?”

Before service Sunday I prepared a large meal for my family for when we got home. It was their favorite…schnitzel and spaetzle with peas and deviled eggs. All made from scratch. The only thing I had to do when we got home was make the jager gravy, because you know gravy will get congealed if it gets cold. We ate our Easter dinner together. I washed the dishes, cleaned up the kitchen and then go rest on the couch. Rest means I fell asleep. I slept hard! Finally allowing myself to relax, I slept nearly twelve hours that night (getting myself up and going to my own bed a few hours in).

On top of Easter functions that weekend we also had small group and a family gathering on the same day. I volunteered to buy and bring one of the main parts of the family dinner. That took some planning. Plans for Saturday was orchestrated to fit everything in (pick up crawfish, help in the garden at small group, get to my mother’s, drive back home and finish plans for egg deliveries, execute plan when time came). I had to take a forty five minute power nap Saturday too.

Sunday morning I wake up from a nightmare. I had been ridiculed in front of the church for orchestrating too much, planning too much. I just felt a heaviness in my heart, I did not ask for this. Have you ever felt that way? God, I did not ask for this? I thought I was doing this because you wanted me to. I felt like Martha when she went to Jesus to tell Mary to help her (Luke 10:38-42). I had to think on this. God created Martha will a love language that was different than Mary’s. Martha’s was acts of service and it frustrated her to see her sister not having the same love language as her. I realized the way I show love is also acts of service. I was probably running on empty and not receiving mine because I was pouring out so much (check out Gary Chapman’s books on the Five Love Languages).

Then I am reminded of a special moment that Jesus and Martha had after Lazarus had died. She ran out of the house to meet Him on the road and they had this exchange in John 11:21-26 (AMP), Then Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.  Even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give to You.” Jesus told her, “Your brother will rise [from the dead].”  Martha replied, “I know that he will rise [from the dead] in the resurrection on the last day.”  Jesus said to her, “I am the Resurrection and the Life. Whoever believes in (adheres to, trusts in, relies on) Me [as Savior] will live even if he dies; and everyone who lives and believes in Me [as Savior] will never die. Do you believe this?”

I have conversations like Martha did right here with Jesus. I am usually in the midst of doing something and talking to Him. This is when I receive deep revelation from the Word that I had been mediating on, or a question that has been on my mind. One of Jesus’ “I AM” statements was revealed to Martha!

I am continuing to pray that I let things go. I am praying for God to send the helpers and if the helpers are there to allow my eyes to be opened to not limit their abilities. I get too caught up in not wanting people to think I am taking advantage of them. I need to give them the ability to be blessed by putting their hands to the work of the ministry. It is okay that I am a Martha, because He still talks to us Martha’s even in the midst of us serving. The qualities we see in Martha we also see in Rebekah, Ruth and the Proverbs 31 woman, so I am in good company.

Who do you relate to more, Martha or Mary? I am comforted to know that God created me with a special way I show Him love. There is nothing wrong with it and not everyone will understand it. My love tank was just running a little on empty. I had to get close to the source again (John 15).

Posted on

Enough to share

Colossians 2:6-7 (AMP) Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, walk in [union with] Him [reflecting His character in the things you do and say—living lives that lead others away from sin], having been deeply rooted [in Him] and now being continually built up in Him and [becoming increasingly more] established in your faith, just as you were taught, and overflowing in it with gratitude.

As I was reading these verses yesterday, three things jumped out at me: (1) I need to reflect His character, when I do this I can lead others to Him; (2) Being deeply rooted in Him helps me accomplish number one; and (3) This will result in me becoming increasingly more established in my faith.

John 15:1-8 (TPT) I am a true sprouting vine, and the farmer who tends the vine is my Father. He cares for the branches connected to me by lifting and propping up the fruitless branches and pruning every fruitful branch to yield a greater harvest. The words I have spoken over you have already cleansed you. So you must remain in life-union with me, for I remain in life-union with you. For as a branch severed from the vine will not bear fruit, so your life will be fruitless unless you live your life intimately joined to mine. “I am the sprouting vine and you’re my branches. As you live in union with me as your source, fruitfulness will stream from within you—but when you live separated from me you are powerless. If a person is separated from me, he is discarded; such branches are gathered up and thrown into the fire to be burned. But if you live in life-union with me and if my words live powerfully within you—then you can ask whatever you desire and it will be done. When your lives bear abundant fruit, you demonstrate that you are my mature disciples who glorify my Father!

I have to be attached to the vine (Jesus). His roots run deep! Rooted there I am going to grow. When I grow I will begin to produce fruit. The amazing thing about this fruit is that the nourishment that comes from it is meant to be shared. When I share my fruit from this vine, others will want to see where it is planted and will eventually become rooted as well. This is what increases my faith. My expectation and passion will grow. I start making more Kingdom impacts. I am beginning to reflect His character.

The amazing thing about this fruit is that the nourishment that comes from it is meant to be shared.

Whenever I think of reflecting God’s character it makes me think of His glory. We are to glorify His name when we pray, when we worship and when we talk about Him in the streets. It also makes me think of Moses and how his face glowed after being in the presence of the Lord. I came across this verse, 2 Corinthians 3:13 (AMP) and we are not like Moses, who used to put a veil over his face so that the Israelites would not gaze at the end of the glory which was fading away. The glow from Moses face would eventually fade. Then we go a few verse down, verses 17-18 (AMP) Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty [emancipation from bondage, true freedom]. And we all, with unveiled face, continually seeing as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are progressively being transformed into His image from [one degree of] glory to [even more] glory, which comes from the Lord, [who is] the Spirit. I am no longer bound to my mistakes and my short comings. I like how it says that we are “progressively being transformed.” This year my goal is progress. Part of that progress is coming out of my comfort zone. I am an introvert by nature. I feel awkward when I have to start a conversation ( I feel like our teenagers today who do not know how to answer a phone). When I see the fruit of what my God encounters do bring, it increases my faith.

I want to lead others to a fulfilling relationship with the Father like I have. In order to do that, I need to reflect His character. I need to be attached to the vine (Jesus). Growing in God is so very rewarding. Giving nourishment to others will increase your faith. The Holy Spirit will draw those to you, but He cannot do that if we refuse to leave the comfort of our homes. This is me too. I need to get out more and I need to step into more serving opportunities (outside of my church). Fruit is meant to be shared. People need to see that it is not perfection He is after, it is progress. They need to see me mess up and depend on Him in my recovery. His glory does not fade anymore, like it did from the face of Moses, it radiates through me because I am in Christ (whose glory never fades).

I pray this encouraged you today. Wherever you are in your walk with Christ, know that we should never feel pressured to be at any faith level, just keep making progress. Keep growing. Stay rooted in Jesus, He is the vine. Take a step to give nourishment to others, it will increase your faith when you see fruit growing in their lives.

Please feel free to message me at amanda@desiringformore.org if you need prayer.

Posted on

Begin Again

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and for the past few years my husband and I take the time to talk to the church together about marriage and relationships. This year it was important that we talked about managing conflict and walking in forgiveness. This year with the pandemic we have spent more time with our families, especially if you were in a stay at home order like we were.

I think we did pretty good with it. The stressful activity we did was to paint the outside of our house. We have a ranch style home built in 1968, addition was done in 2000. Part of the house is on foundation, the other is crawl space. It is a brick home that was painted a sea foam green. When we moved in thirteen years ago I had always wanted to paint the house, I did not like the color. The home has sixteen windows that looks to be original to the house (except for the addition) and they have the pained glass. We had gotten quotes to get the job done. They ranged from six to eight thousand dollars. The pandemic hit, and we all had to stay home together. My husband and I went out and bought a paint sprayer, rollers, brushes, paper, tape and lots of paint. Stay at home did not mean we could not go outside, and I did not want my kids playing video games all day.

Marriage, more than any other relationship, is going to highlight your flaws. A project of this magnitude with two teenage boys, was going to highlight some flaws as well. We each had a job, and we assisted each other when our job did not need to be done at the moment. The struggle that we found was when we needed help, how to communicate that. In the middle of the frustration on not being able to do this task or problem solve it, how to communicate without filtering that frustration in how we talked to each other.

Ephesians 4:1-3 (TLB) I beg you—I, a prisoner here in jail for serving the Lord—to live and act in a way worthy of those who have been chosen for such wonderful blessings as these. Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Try always to be led along together by the Holy Spirit and so be at peace with one another.

We each have faults. In love, we must make allowances for each other. Grace needed to be applied to each other. Be patient with your children and spouse. Have faith in what your marriage/family can become. Do not heap on expectations on where you think you should be. Enjoy the journey.

Hebrews 12:2 (MSG) Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. 

If in the process of painting the house we fixed your thoughts on the faults and failure’s of each other the project would probably had never gotten completed. Our family relationship would have suffered a great loss. The problems in our marriage/family are going to be magnified if we do not keep our eyes on Jesus. Study how He lived His life. He had some different personalities to do life with.

The problems in our marriage/family are going to be magnified if we do not keep our eyes on Jesus.

The bigger picture is that I want my children to have lasting relationships. The highlighted flaws that their parents have are going to come out in front of them. When my husband and I first got married my reaction to a question or statement would have been returned with a quick straight to the point answer. I filtered my responses through defense. I thought I was always under a microscope waiting for someone to point out my flaws, this person now being my husband. In return, how I answered was not clear or was often misunderstood because of how I said it, not in what I said. This escalated the conversation into a fight. My husband when he is flustered can come off as very aggravated, this combined with filtering through defense was a combination for disaster. One of us needed to do something. I went to a really good source. I went to my Word.

Colossians 3:13 (NLT) Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Philippians 4:8 (TLB) Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.

When tensions started to flair, we had to go back to this. Someone was not ready to change how they approached the problem, that is okay because they need grace in the moment and we are going to give it to them. Did we have a few blow ups? Yes! We are not perfect. In the end, I do not recall what they were about. I do know that the house is painted. We have to redo the porch, we did not seal it…oops! We still love each other. We still enjoy each other’s company. We have had to tackle other projects together and did not dread it!

It is not too late for your marriage or your family. For us, it started with one person making up their mind that they were not going to hold onto offense and to be quick to forgive. I just so happened to be that person in my home. I had to lay down my pride and me wanting to always be right. In turn there was a change in me. I no longer responded in defense. Peace was raging in me, so it was also becoming a part of what our home would be.

You can make up your mind to begin again. What if you spouse is not wanting to make the change? You make the change. Let God work on them. At the end of all of this, we will give an account of what we did, not what they did. I want to hear “well done good and faithful servant”. We are not going to hear “well done perfect servant.” So please stop putting that expectation on the people you have relationships with, including leaders. I want to point out that He uses the word servant. Are we serving in our families? If not, you can begin now. It is not too late. I do not regret making that change. I have my moments, because I am not going to be perfect at it all the time, in return my family have made allowances for me as I have made allowances for them. It is pretty nice.

If you need prayer or would like to talk about anything feel free to email me at amanda@desiringformore.org.