What if I do not FEEL chosen?

We shape our identity on how chosen we feel at any given time. What can hinder a person from feeling chosen? For me it has been rejection. I remember a relationship with my father up until the age of five. My mother took my sisters and I to see her parents when I was around that age, we did not return home. I did not realize how bad things were for my mom until I reached adulthood. As I look back, and see the signs of abuse, I know she did the right thing. That does not mean there were not seeds of rejection put inside of me. It is a hard thing for your father not to try to keep a relationship after divorce. That is just what he did. He did not try to see us at Christmas. I honestly cannot remember anything but a phone call on my birthday. That was the extent of our relationship growing up. As a result, rejection was my identity. It was hard for me to feel chosen.

1 Peter 2:9 (NKJV) But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.

Ephesians 1:3-6 (NKJV) Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. 

There is something in each one of us that longs to be loved and wanted.  The Bible refers to us as the Bride of Christ. That was the first step for me into my relationship with Christ. He showed me a love that would not fail. A relationship that desires my presence just as much as I desire His.

There is something in each one of us that longs to be loved and wanted.

Psalm 68:6a (NKJV) God sets the solitary in families…

Ephesians 2:19 (NKJV) Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God.

Maybe your family background is not necessarily godly, healthy, or hopeful.  You might feel doomed to repeat certain patterns or addictions, mental instability, or any kind of brokenness.  You might feel like you can never break free.  No matter how hard you try the world may say that you are going to end up in predetermined way  Or maybe just hearing the word “family” stings your heart. There are a lot of self help books out there to help, but nothing can make you whole except Jesus.

1 Peter 1:18 (NKJV) For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And it was not paid with mere gold or silver, which lose their value.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (AMP) Therefore if anyone is in Christ (that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior), he is a new creature (reborn and renewed in the Holy Spirit); the old things (the previous moral and spiritual condition) have passed away. Behold, new things have come (because spiritual awakenings bring a new life).

Matthew 7:11 (NKJV) If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

Psalm 40:1-5 (NKJV) I waited patiently for the Lord; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth– Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, And will trust in the Lord. Blessed is that man who makes the Lord his trust, And does not respect the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies. Many, O Lord my God, are Your wonderful works Which You have done; And Your thoughts toward us Cannot be recounted to You in order; If I would declare and speak of them, They are more than can be numbered.

As God’s treasured possession, we wait patiently and know God hears us.  As I look back over my life I see how treasured I am to my Father. I may have been rejected by someone who was suppose to love me, but I am full of with an over abundance of love from my Father. I often look for what I call “daddy moments.”

Psalm 62:1-6 (NKJV) Truly my soul silently waits for God; From Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved. How long will you attack a man? You shall be slain, all of you, Like a leaning wall and a tottering fence. They only consult to cast him down from his high position; They delight in lies; They bless with their mouth, But they curse inwardly. Selah. My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved.

What in your life tempts you to feel less than God’s treasured possession? I still have to fight the feelings of rejection. The enemy knows that this is a tactic he can use against me. I have to remind myself that I am lovable, that I do have something to offer, that just because I am awkward does not mean that others do not see the value in me.

One of my favorite verses to share with a precious daughter that has also had the hardships of rejection in their lives is Psalm 45:11 (NIV) “Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.” He is enthralled with us. He cannot keep His eyes off of us. This relationship is why I choose to honor Him. What we honor we see value in. I am chosen and so are you!