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What is success?

1 Chronicles 28: 2, 3, 6 (AMP) I had intended to build a permanent home for the ark of the covenant of the Lord and as a footstool for our God, and I prepared materials for the building. But God said to me, ‘You shall not build a house for My Name (Presence)…He said to me, ‘Solomon your son shall build My house and My courts; for I have chosen him to be a son to Me, and I will be a father to him.

I am in the process of reading the Bible Chronologically using the Amplified Version in the You Version App. It is different from reading a complete book at a time, because it puts you in the perspective of what was going on during the time it was written. Reading Psalms out of context before had me feeling like David was a big whiner sometimes. It reminded me that we can make judgments about people because we do not know the whole story.

I just finished reading where David is at the end of his life and his heart’s desire was to build the permanent home for the Ark of the Covenant. He has spent years studying the texts and his heart was to see it completed. In 1 Chronicles 23-29 David is making preparations for his son, Solomon, to become king and to build the temple.

1 Chronicles 28:11 (AMP) Then David gave to his son Solomon the plan… This had me thinking. When was the last time you helped someone with their success knowing that you would not reap the benefits of it? I gained a new respect for David when I saw his heart for his son to succeed. David had been talking about and dreaming about building this temple for years. What would you have done if God told you that you would not be the one to build what you dreamed? Would you still gather the materials? Would you still do the research? Would you still buy that plot of land?

We live in a culture where offense is the norm. I actually think some people do not know how to function without someone being the villain in their lives. David did not look at his son as his successor, nor as his competition. He looked at Solomon as the one who was going to succeed him, and he was excited about it.

My husband and I are pastors of a church in Opelika, Alabama. We were not the ones who started the ministry, his parents were. I often look back as to when were did not have a title, or considered the “assistants,” and how our hearts were to see the church succeed. We had no intentions nor was it on our minds that one day we would lead. Every event was planned and executed by us, yet we did not take the lead role during the event (to include baby and bridal showers). If there was a need to reach a certain demographic with a small group or a type of fellowship, we started and led it, willingly! We were excited to be at the church early and doing whatever needed to be done way before service started. If they needed someone in nursery, I was there. They needed a pre-teen class for an age group to be ministered to, I will teach it!! They just needed to state the need, not ask me to meet the need.

When was the last time you looked around and saw a need and did not just say “someone needs to,” but instead said “there is a need and I am going to make sure it is met”? Instead of being offended with your church or pastors for not meeting your needs (or expectations), ask yourself what you can do to help that area succeed. When others succeed, you will succeed. Do you need the recognition here or is it enough that the Father sees your heart and has a reward for you in heaven? Instead of taking on offense at the leader, what can we do to make sure they succeed?

I do not know if you are a leader or if you look to your leader to meet all of your needs. Only he Father can meet all of our needs. I want to be a light to this world. I want to make an impact that brings glory to God. If that means that I do all the work in the background to make sure there is a good foundation laid for the next generation, then so be it. If they succeed, then I succeed!

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God causes the growth

Ugly Christmas sweaters at church

1 Corinthians 3:6-7 (AMP) I planted, Apollos watered, but God [all the while] was causing the growth. So neither is the one who plants nor the one who waters anything, but [only] God who causes the growth.

Today my oldest son turns seventeen. He will be a senior in just a few short months. Last week we went to watch him wrestle for state (his first time making it to the qualifiers after four years of trying). He had to step out after the second round due to a possible concussion. Ari fought two really tough competitors. In his first match, the guy was a senior and had placed second the year before, and was undefeated so far this year. Ari lost that round. In his second match, Ari and the other wrestler collided right off the start, head first. Then they pulled back and did it again. It was a tough one, it looked like a brawl from the stands. When done, Ari had a mark under his eye and it was starting to swell. The other kids head gear had got him. Since he woke up with a head ache the next day they took him out. It was a little disappointing for him, but he said he is looking forward to doing it again next year.

So today I am reflecting on how we got here. On this day after thirty two hours in labor, and twelve days after his due date, Ari was born weighing eight pounds and twelve ounces. He was (and still is) beautiful. We had some struggle moments when he was a baby and in his toddler years, really we should have known he was going to be strong willed when he spent the full forty two weeks in the womb. There are some really great moments too. We taught him a few words in sign language before he started talking. He could tells us he wanted to eat, some milk, if he wanted more or if he had enough food. Meal times were when we got to sit together, since I worked full time. It was not until he was almost four that he would be able to stay with me all day.

Then he started going to school, kindergarten. That was my very first parent/teacher conference about behavior. I got to have one of those, within the first nine weeks of school, every year for seven more years. There was one year the principal called me so much that I would make a sigh before I answered the phone. On top of all of this he was a straight “A” student!

When Ari got into eighth grade, he tried out for wrestling and fell in love with the sport. We tried putting him in soccer, in baseball and football. He did not enjoy them, but we knew he needed an outlet. He was passionate about wrestling though. Guess what? I have not been called in for a parent/teacher conference in four years!! I love wrestling. I will take him every where to train. I will get him to any club that had it going on. I will hire a personal trainer to teach him foot work.

What is also amazing is that he honors and respects his parents. He will get up from what he is doing in his room and help me with things around the house, happily. At church, he puts the signs out and makes sure the duplication process for the CDs is ready to go. He hands out the CDs after service. We sit down every school morning, along with his brother, and we read a devotional and pray before they walk out the door. What is most important is that he not only does these things because we ask, but he sees his parents do them. He sees us spending time in the Word daily. He sees us serving in the church. When we do service projects in the community, I do not drop them off, we serve together.

What is most important is that he not only does these things because we ask, but he sees his parents do them. He sees us spending time in the Word daily. He sees us serving in the church. When we do service projects in the community, I do not drop them off, we serve together.

In my beginning verse, it says that I get to plant the seed. From what you read above you would think that now I have the perfect son. He still has his moments. He still can be rude, disrespectful and a jerk. Actually two weeks ago we got into a really big discussion on how his communication needed to be improved. He had all electronics taken away for two days (that included his cell phone). Then when he got it back, he binge played on his XBox and came out of his hole an emotional wreck. Fun stuff, right?! Like him, there are days that I lash out at the people I love too. He needed grace in that moment.

He still needs our guidance. Ultimately though, he is God’s. He will be leaving home in a few years to start his life on his own. I pray that we have laid a good foundation for him. I pray he grows. I want him to grow and mature in God. I want him to succeed. Although we may want them to, my goal is that he will not NEED me (it would be selfish of me if I did not do this). I need to point him to Christ. I need to show him where real growth and success comes from. Before a match we thank God that it is through His strength that Ari gets his power source. Ari has done his part in weight training, practicing endurance and learning technique. Now he can rest, and not feel anxious, in how God puts it all together through him when he wrestles. What a difference that perspective has made in his wrestling this year.

If you know how that feels hit the like button on this post. Let me know your struggles and celebrate the successes with you. If you need prayer you can message me at amanda@desiringformore.org.