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A vow from rejection

Ephesians 4:2-3 (AMP) With all humility [forsaking self-righteousness], and gentleness [maintaining self-control], with patience, bearing with one another in [unselfish] love. Make every effort to keep the oneness of the Spirit in the bond of peace [each individual working together to make the whole successful].

We are in the middle of what we call “Holy Week.” This is the week we are reflecting on the death and resurrection of Jesus. Jesus came to give us restoration. He restored our relationship with the Father, but He also restored us to peace, to fullness and to wholeness. He restored us to Kingdom purpose. So why are we still looking at each other as broken and ready to hurt each other?

We have turned the thoughts that “not everyone will understand us” into “not everyone is for you.” It is okay when others will not understand us, but when not everyone is for us, then we have an enemy. Why? Our thoughts are now they are out for our harm. I have a question. Does the thought that not everyone is for you bring you peace? Does it bring you the desire to seek restoration? Does it bring you the desire to seek unity? Then can we say, does that match the character and nature of God?

Romans 12:14-18 (AMP) Bless those who persecute you [who cause you harm or hardship]; bless and do not curse [them]. Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others’ joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others’ grief]. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty [conceited, self-important, exclusive], but associate with humble people [those with a realistic self-view]. Do not overestimate yourself. Never repay anyone evil for evil. Take thought for what is right and gracious and proper in the sight of everyone. If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

I know that when I have thoughts that someone meant to harm me, or they were hoping that I would fail, it does not bring me peace. It brings me anger. It brings hurt. It brings in comparison. It brings the feeling of being unloved. So why is it okay for us to say “not everyone is for us.” The enemy, the devil, is not for us. However, we do not fight against, nor struggle against, flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12).

What if what they said hurt my feelings? What if they did not help me succeed?

I just did a online fundraiser to raise funds for our youth at attend summer camp. I needed to raise $500 for the deposit. We raised $100 of it through them. There was also the option to donate without purchasing the product. We raised another $100 that way. What would your thoughts be if you started seeing people on your feed using the same source (setting up their own fundraisers), but they did not give into yours? It is not for the same cause. What do we do? They did not give into mine, so I am not going to give into theirs? What about when those that you thought would support you, don’t?

How about this real life scenario? I had planned to have my 18th birthday party at my grandmother’s pool. I had also invited a bunch of people. Another girl, in the same grade, had one a few weeks before and lots of people were just having a blast. My party came up and just one of my friends showed up. When I was much younger, this pool was the hangout spot for all the neighborhood kids. You could find my friends and I there just having a blast. Now flash forward to my 40th birthday and it is during the COVID lock down. My family decides to throw a surprise let’s have a car parade party. Sounds fun? Let me tell you it was awkward when not many cars show up. However, I did have more than one friend show up this time.

What does all this have to do with the idea of not everyone is for you? The root of it is rejection. This is the vow we have used to protect our hearts. Will it bring peace? Jesus was sitting at a table knowing that very evening that one of his close friends would betray Him. He still fed Him. He did not tell the others and point him out as “not for us.” He loved him. Jesus said, “So then, in everything treat others the same way you want them to treat you, for this is [the essence of] the Law and the [writings of the] Prophets (Matthew 7:12).” Who is He talking to? Us. The nature of man is to do the opposite. We want to treat others on how they treat us. When Jesus tells us to treat others the way we want to be treated.

My verse at the beginning is a continuation of a thought by Paul. He starts off with: So I, the prisoner for the Lord, appeal to you to live a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called [that is, to live a life that exhibits godly character, moral courage, personal integrity, and mature behavior—a life that expresses gratitude to God for your salvation]”… In the Modern English Version, Ephesians 4:1 states, “walk in a manner worthy of the calling you were called.” What am a I called to? The ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:10-21). As I mature as a believer, my focus is on reconciliation, not who showed up for me. Have I had moments of immaturity? Yes. By the world’s definition was I right? Yes. However, if I follow the example of the Word I am not. I have had to die to that part of myself. It has been one of the hardest things to do. What does it cost? My pride. What do I gain? Peace. Those vows only bring bondage and I would rather live free.

Father, You are all I desire, not for what You can do for me but for who You are. I thank You for sending Your Son to be the Prince of Peace, He is the ultimate example of what it is to serve and love unselfishly. I repent for coming short in areas, when I wanted to live for me. I repent for getting mad and holding people hostage for them not showing up for me. I desire to live a life worthy of the call of restoration. I desire to live a life of Your character, Your integrity and to grow into the maturity of Your Kingdom. I thank You that Your Word has been written on the palms of my hands, it has been inscribed on my forehead and it pours out of my mouth. I thank You that it is for the purpose of reconciliation, so that I focus on Your truth. I take captive every thought, imagination or argument that I have had to bring division to my calling. I choose love today. I choose forgiveness today. I choose hope today. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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Love is the work in “works”

Revelations 2:4-5 (AMP) But I have this [charge] against you, that you have left your first love [you have lost the depth of love that you first had for Me]. So remember the heights from which you have fallen, and repent [change your inner self—your old way of thinking, your sinful behavior—seek God’s will] and do the works you did at first [when you first knew Me]; otherwise, I will visit you and remove your lampstand (the church, its impact) from its place—unless you repent. 

Before I get really into this I want you to know, we cannot earn God’s love. We cannot earn our salvation. However, we can lose sight of what He has called us to do. We will replace it with political views, standing up for injustice or chasing after bettering our gifts and talents (whether in the church or in the corporate world).

This week we had another mass shooting. Another? Yes. According to Axios.com, there have been 38 U.S. mass shootings (four or more victims) in March of this year alone. At least 57 people have been killed and 133 have been injured. BBC news reports that there have been 131 mass shootings in the United States so far this year. The number for last year was 647. When news broke out about the shootings this week I read comments from both sides about their agendas. The one that broke by heart was the one that said they deserved it because of their Christian beliefs. Neither extremes are right. What happens when we get so focused on rightness? Let us look ahead in this part of Revelations for the context.

Revelations 2:1-5 (AMP) ‘I know your deeds and your toil, and your patient endurance, and that you cannot tolerate those who are evil, and have tested and critically appraised those who call themselves apostles (special messengers, personally chosen representatives, of Christ), and [in fact] are not, and have found them to be liars and impostors;  and [I know that] you [who believe] are enduring patiently and are bearing up for My name’s sake, and that you have not grown weary [of being faithful to the truth]. But I have this [charge] against you, that you have left your first love [you have lost the depth of love that you first had for Me]. So remember the heights from which you have fallen, and repent [change your inner self—your old way of thinking, your sinful behavior—seek God’s will] and do the works you did at first [when you first knew Me]; otherwise, I will visit you and remove your lampstand (the church, its impact) from its place—unless you repent.

Here the people were standing up to the truth of the Word. They did not depart from the truth and accept any revelation that was being presented by them. This the way we should be. We should be standing on the truth of His Word and not compromising. What we have failed at is the love part! Did they not love God? That is not the first love that He was talking about.

John 13:34 (AMP) I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too are to love one another.

Acts 26:20 (AMP) but I openly proclaimed first to those at Damascus, then at Jerusalem and throughout the region of Judea, and even to the Gentiles, that they should repent [change their inner self—their old way of thinking] and turn to God, doing deeds and living lives which are consistent with repentance.

2 Corinthians 5:17-19 (AMP) Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life]. But all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ [making us acceptable to Him] and gave us the ministry of reconciliation [so that by our example we might bring others to Him], that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting people’s sins against them [but canceling them]. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation [that is, restoration to favor with God].

In the Amplified Version of the Bible, the word love is often followed by unselfish concern and seeking the best for one another. The word repentance is not be ashamed, it is to surrender. Christ lived a life of surrender. In Christ we now are joined with Him. We are a new creation, because our spirit man has become awakened. New life can now come. A new way of doing things can be done. I have a new purpose. My purpose is now the ministry of reconciliation. My message should be restoration. I should see everyone as needing restoration. I cannot do that if I do not have the commandment of Jesus in front of me. We are to love one another. I am to love those with different view points of mine. I do not have to accept them, but I do have to desire restoration for them. Why are we fighting to change view points when I do not want to see them restored?

My heart breaks when I read that we would rather calamity fall on another group of people because of their views. That is not love! That is not standing up for what is right!!

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (AMP) Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].

Love does not rejoice when others are hurting!! I have been wronged by people. I have myself wronged others. I have been wronged by church people, but I would never wish harm on them. I would never celebrate and say “God don’t like ugly.” God is love. Even in their wrong, God still loves them. My prayer is they make it right with the Father, whether they make it right with me or not. I have to walk in forgiveness, whether they asked for it or not. I am not to repeat a suffered wrong (which is slander by the way). I am not to suede others into choosing sides. I am to point to the truth, the truth of God’s Word. That tells me that I am to love, just as He loved. That is the work. In order for me to love as He loved, I need to be focused on the ministry of reconciliation. My focus will be on Christ for myself and for others. Do I have a stance on political views and on injustice? Yes. However, they should not be louder than the desire for my first love. As a reminder: these letters and warnings were given to the church (those in Christ).

Father, You are full of grace and mercy, but You are also the final Judge. Thank You for sending Your Son to show us how to love. I never want to be one of those that You say did not go back to their first love. I repent for not making Your love what I am known for. You are the One who fights my battles, but that never gives me an excuse not to love. Help me keep an unselfish concern for those that need Your reconciliation. Open my eyes and keep a pure heart within me that I do not lose that first love. I thank You that You are taking care of and putting things in place to up-heed injustice. I thank You that I have answered the call, and along with others, to be the hands and feet to deliver those from such injustice. I will not hide or put my lamp stand under so others cannot find the light. Your heart has always been restoration. Thank You for including me and calling me into Your hearts desire. I choose forgiveness today. I choose love today. I choose hope today. Lead me to love more as I walk in my calling, as a minister of reconciliation. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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Water Gate

Nehemiah 8:1-3 (AMP) Then all the people gathered together as one man at the open square in front of the Water Gate; and they asked Ezra the scribe to bring the Book of the Law of Moses which the Lord had given to Israel. So Ezra the priest brought the Law before the assembly of men, women and all who could listen with understanding, on the first day of the seventh month. Then he read from it, in front of the open square which was in front of the Water Gate, from early morning until midday, in the presence of the men and women, those who could understand; and all the people listened carefully to the Book of the Law. 

I have just finished reading the Bible in chronological order. I have yet to do a rapid Bible read through in 90 days. This is only the second time I have read it completely through. It is not an essential thing to accomplish to be a good Christian, but I do believe it should be a desire of our hearts. This is one of the areas that I would say would be “works” oriented. It does not matter how much scripture you read in a day, how much you memorize or how much you pray. Do you follow the teachings? Do you love to the extent that Jesus did?

As I started a new plan, I decided to start with Haggai, Ezra and Nehemiah. Nehemiah being a type and shadow of the Holy Spirit, as his name means Comforter. Nehemiah was not a priest and he was not a prophet. What he did was have a burden for the people. He desired for them to be restored. That is exactly what the Holy Spirit will do in our lives. Jesus is not just my savior, He is the Prince of Wholeness (Isaiah 9:6-7 MSG).

In the first chapter of Haggai he pointed out the people were concerned about their personal needs and they just couldn’t get it together, although they knew God called them back to this place. He said twice “Consider your ways.” The Israelites returned to Jerusalem after 70 years of captivity in Babylon, focusing on rebuilding their homes, reestablishing their businesses, and creating comfortable lifestyles in their homeland. Yet they completely forgot the importance of rebuilding the temple and reestablishing their relationship with God.

Haggai 2:3, 6-9 (AMP) Who is left among you who saw this house (temple) in its former glory? And how do you see it now? Does it not seem to you like nothing in comparison?For thus says the Lord of hosts, ‘Once more, in a little while, I am going to shake the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land. I will shake all the nations; and they will come with the desirable and precious things of all nations, and I will fill this house with glory and splendor,’ says the Lord of hosts. ‘The silver is Mine and the gold is Mine,’ declares the Lord of hosts. ‘The latter glory of this house will be greater than the former,’ says the Lord of hosts, ‘and in this place I shall give [the ultimate] peace and prosperity,’ declares the Lord of hosts.”

In the book of Ezra we see them come back to rebuild the temple. It did not look the same way that it did under Solomon. Those that knew it’s previous glory mourned. Those who never saw it before rejoiced that it was there. It is all about perspective.

In Nehemiah, he sees the importance of rebuilding the walls and the gates. Each one has significance but I want to concentrate on the Water Gate. Located adjacent to the Kidron Valley, the Gihon Spring was accessible via the Water Gate. The Kidron Valley served as a burial ground. This is the world’s largest Jewish cemetery, located next to the Mount of Olives. It shows their commitment to the faith.  

Ephesians 5:26 (AMP) so that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word [of God]

Psalms 119:9 (TPT) How can a young man stay pure? Only by living in the Word of God and walking in its truth.

The Holy Spirit is the one who makes the word of God alive to us personally, allowing cleansing, encouragement and direction to take place in our life. This Word is so important to us and our restoration. Water yourself in the Word! Hold truth to the Word!!

It was of spiritual importance that the Word of God be read in front of the Water Gate. The Word was valuable to them. It should be valuable to you. It does not determine your salvation from Hell. It does not make you a better “Christian”. The Word of God is restoration. You will not know all that He has available to you unless you know what the Word says about it. Come dip with me in the water today, and when you are ready, we can go a little deeper. Desiring for more is where my heart is!

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Restoration takes more than me

Philippians 3:12 (AMP) Not that I have already obtained it [this goal of being Christlike] or have already been made perfect, but I actively press on so that I may take hold of that [perfection] for which Christ Jesus took hold of me and made me His own.

There are many benefits of our Reconciliation through Christ besides just “going to Heaven” but they can remain dormant and non-beneficial until discovered and used. My husband posed this question to us a couple of Sunday’s ago: “Am I walking in the Freedom of Reconciliation today?”

Your relationship with God is as deep as you want it to be. Your freedom is to the level that you set it.

Luke 10:19 tells us that Jesus gave us the ability to exercise authority over all the power of the enemy (Satan); and nothing will harm us. I want to remind you that you cannot do this alone. You were not meant to do it alone.

Have you ever heard this? “I work out my own salvation!” That is taken from Philippians 2:12 and we use it as a defense mechanism because we do not like being corrected. We are taking it out of context. You see quoting this and stating “I work out my own salvation” is not the character and nature of God. Actually, in the original Greek it is not quite stated like this. The New American Standard Bible has the closest, because we all know from grammar classes, punctuation is important.

You should not quote verse 12 without 13: So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to desire and to work for His good pleasure.

You cannot do this separate from the Holy Spirit. You are not alone to work out your own salvation. You need to know and read His Word, but if you do not have the Holy Spirit you are limited. You will quote verses out of context and live half free.

There was also something else that God gave us to help in our restoration. He gave us each other.

Ephesians 2:18, 22 (AMP) For it is through Him that we both have a [direct] way of approach in one Spirit to the Father.  So then you are no longer strangers and aliens [outsiders without rights of citizenship], but you are fellow citizens with the saints (God’s people), and are [members] of God’s household, In Him [and in fellowship with one another] you also are being built together into a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.

The devil will try to tell you that since you are the only one like you in your family that you do not belong, that you are an alien, that you are an orphan. Even though you DO belong to a family, he will do everything he can to keep you from the full benefit of salvation. I know what it is like to feel like you are not included. My husband and I are the pastors. Do you know how hard that is to be the leader? Someone once said that if you want to please people sell ice cream. However,I cannot become all that He created me to be if I do not fellowship with my church. I am not talking about gathering to eat food. Am I being authentic in my growth with them so that they can encourage me? Not just one sided to where they are vulnerable and I just can’t because of my lack of trust in the very body of believers I am called to. I need to walk in fullness. I have to let the body do what it is suppose to, even if it hurts (just a little secret, growth is suppose to hurt).

Ephesians 4:12, 16 [and He did this] to fully equip and perfect the saints (God’s people) for works of service, to build up the body of Christ [the church]; From Him the whole body [the church, in all its various parts], joined and knitted firmly together by what every joint supplies, when each part is working properly, causes the body to grow and mature, building itself up in [unselfish] love.

The five fold ministry is essential in equipping the saints (the born again believer). Do you have a pastor? Do you allow them to correct you? There are good ones out there that want to see the best in you. The body of Christ is also essential to each other. We are no longer our own person. My restoration was for a bigger purpose than myself. I should be encouraging you to grow. You encourage me to seek the Holy Spirit in my growth!

Love is the unselfish concern for others, to see the best for them. This goes against the culture of “do what is best for you.” That shows a total lack of trust in the Father. Do you honestly think that if you did something that was better for someone else that He would not see to it that you go the best too? Let us grow past looking out for ourselves and serve one another.

Let us get back to the main question: “Am I walking in the Freedom of Reconciliation today?” We cannot do it apart from Jesus and the Father. We cannot do it apart from the Holy Spirit. We cannot do it fully without each other. You were not meant to work it out alone. God’s desire is for you to be whole. Let the Holy Spirit and the body of Christ do its work.

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A mother’s heartbeat

Deuteronomy 6:5-7 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and will all your soul and with all your strength. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Do you feel pressure that I need to ensure my child’s salvation? I know as a pastor, I do. I feel pressure to make sure my children do not mess up, especially in public, or let’s say I use to. As a pastor it can often seem that you are in a glass house, put on display for everyone to look into. However, just like everyone else we make mistakes and our lives are messy. I have learned to embrace that glass house. My husband and I decided when we were going to take on the lead pastor role that we were going to be transparent (there are things that we do keep private) but if God tells us to tell of our struggles, then we are. To put on airs that we do not have struggles would be a lie to what Jesus did on the cross for us.

John 6:44 says, “For no one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them to me, and the last day I will raise them up.” I cannot live out the salvation for my children. They have to come to Him by the drawing of the Holy Spirit. I am free from the pressure that we have to make all the right moves, but that does not mean I do not have a responsibility. Deuteronomy 6 says that He has to be Lord over my life. He is Lord! When I am moved by my mistakes as a mother, the behavior of my children, their mistakes, then that has become my Lord.

My kids will not come to Christ solely on their own initiative, and they certainly will not come to Christ solely on mine. It will be only through the Father giving them the desire to come to Christ. The Father must draw my children to His heart. I cannot push or plead them there. Rather, He pursues them and woos them to Himself. (From Mom Set Free by Jeannie Cunnion)

I have the honor and responsibility of guiding my children in truth and teaching them that Jesus is the way, the truth, the life, and the only way to the Father (John 14:6) – but I cannot make them believe it. Only God can work in their hearts.

1 Corinthians 3:6-7 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants not he one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.

Philippians 1:6, 9-11 I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns…I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation – the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ – for this will bring much glory and praise to God.

We are given the assurance that it is God – not us – who began a good work within our children. It is God, not us, who will continue that work in our lives. He will not give up on them, even when they deserve to be given up on (just like we were).

I am confident and trusting that God is already doing what He wants done in my children. He is not depending on me to be their Holy Spirit. He is the one helping them obey. In fact, His grace is what gives them the desire to obey Him.

I can model them the freedom and joy that comes from obeying God’s Word, but I cannot make them want it. It was when I allowed the changed to happen in my inwardly that it became to show outwardly. That is what drew my sister to follow Christ. I was eighteen when I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. If I look back on how I had acted as a teenager, I would be so ashamed, if I did not know who I was in Christ now. I have to look at my children the same way. Christ, not me, is the one that will redeem them.

If I look back on how I had acted as a teenager I would be so ashamed, if I did not know who I was in Christ now.

If we go back just a little before the verse to Deuteronomy 5: 6 it says, ” I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.” Then He gave them the Ten Commandments. Before He commanded them to love and obey, He first reminds His people of His nature, of His character, and of His rescuing grace. In other words, He is showing how His redeeming love was not predicated on their love and obedience. He rescued them first.

Covid-19 has been hard on our world. It has made us look at our relationships, our circumstances, and our resources in a new way. I have two boys at home. I have the privilege of being a stay at home mom. My kids are older, twelve and sixteen, so they do not require a lot of supervision. That does not mean that they do not require my care. One of the struggles of raising a teenager in this day in age is getting them outside. Thankfully, both are athletes so they have to do certain cardiovascular routines to keep up with the positions they have.

My children see the importance in my getting in the Word on a daily basis. I model that behavior. When school started back this year I altered our morning routine to do a small devotion together and pray before they leave for school. My children can tell the difference in me when I do not make the time to get in the Word. I am transparent with my struggles so they can be transparent with theirs.

We went through a hard time with my oldest not too long ago. He did some things that we could have been ashamed of if we taught religion. Since we model a relationship we were able to model redemption. He was punished, but not shamed. We lifted him up and did not tear him down. In result, he became more loving and trusting of his parents. I am not trying to say we are perfect, because if it had happened a few years ago we would not have responded the same loving way. We have allowed God to be Lord over our lives and with that so much grace has poured out through us to our children. We did not hide him away. We encouraged him and he drew deeper in his relationship with God. He still makes mistakes. He does things that no I do not approve of, but like us he has free will. He honors us as we honor God. We model honor in our home.

This is my heartbeat as a mother: To know that my children do not have to be perfect to be loved. They do not have to meet my expectations on what their relationship with God should look like. They, like me, are growing. My Father is the one who will draw them closer. It is when they choose to make Him Lord (it is a choice). I have to be patient just as He was patient with me. We do not give up, it is never a set back, it is a reason for me to grow deeper in my own relationship. My children are a gift, but I have to choose to put my trust in Him to be the Lord of their lives. No matter their choices I will not lose hope. If they run, He will be there to redeem and restore them, I will be here to love them.

If your child is running from God, know that you should not feel ashamed. He is not. He is a God of compassion and grace. We are the ones who are flawed, He is not. If you made a mistake, it is okay, He can still redeem. Do not give up, do not grow weary, put your trust in Him. I know that I will probably have more heartaches ahead of me when it comes to my children. Take courage, know that we are not in this alone. He said He would always be with us. He will see that everything is completed.

Ari (my oldest) and me at the gym!