personal surrender – Desiring for More

December 13, 2023

Power in Release

James 4:7 (AMP) So submit to [the authority of] God. Resist the devil [stand firm against him] and he will flee from you.

This scripture is found under the section titled Friendship With the World in my Spiritual Warfare Bible. When we realize that our thought patterns and our actions not lining up with God means we are lining up with the world (Satan), then it will change how we approach situations. When I make excuses for why God has to accept that in me, I have made friendship with the world.

James 4:5-6 (MEV) Do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “He yearns jealously for the spirit that lives in us”? But He gives more grace. For this reason it says: “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

When I was eighteen my husband proposed to me on the day I graduated from high school. His parents gifted us a trip to California, as they were speaking at a Camp Meeting (week long church services that are held morning and evening) that summer. That was the summer that God made Himself real to my husband-to-be, and him surrendering to Christ. What did that mean for me? He was changing, and I did not understand it. Before that we attended the church, but lived how we wanted.

Psalms 45:11 (NIV) Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.

I wanted to be loved so badly. Rejection had taken root in me as a child and grew in my teenage years. I looked to my husband-to-be to fill that need. Looking back, God saved our marriage before it even started. In relationships when one has a hero complex, that they rescued the other, there is unsatisfaction felt by one or both because of their dependence on the other. We were never meant to fill that place. Only God. That is what God told me one Sunday as I am watching from the back of service. My husband-to-be was testifying of the surrendered life he was now living, how God had made Himself real to him. God told me that I had put John on a pedestal that only He was supposed to be on. God told me that He was enthralled by me. My desire for love could only be satisfied in Him. I gave my life to Christ that day.

“He yearns jealously for the spirit that lives in us.” Twelve years ago I never would have dreamed of speaking in front of people. Actually, I never wanted to. Teaching was easy to the preteens. To the adults, not a chance. It was at a Joyce Meyer conference that I had a conversation with God. I was talking to Him about the fear of speaking in front of people. I was wresting with the Word that was inside of me. All of a sudden I just released it. I gave it all back to Him. The first Sunday back I spoke. What had been planted He brought it out.

James 4:1-3 (MEV) Where do wars and fights among you come from? Do they not come from your lusts that war in your body? You lust and do not have, so you kill. You desire to have and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have, because you do not ask. You ask, and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your passions.

Five years ago was another milestone moment in my life. I was fired and my character tarnished. I wanted to fight, and I could have throne some pretty big stones. Instead I went to God about it. I did not ask for vengeance nor vindication. I asked Him to check my heart. The path I could have chosen would have probably led me down the road of bitterness. I did not want that in my life. That is what the body lusts after, for me to win, for me to get the victory, for me to shine in all my glory. I would have taken on a murderous spirit, slandering those that had hurt me. I would have been trying to fight my own war. Instead, I chose to release it. I asked God to take it. I wanted to grow forward in Love. In return, revelation of His Word started pouring out like never before.

James 4:7-8a (AMP) So submit to [the authority of] God. Resist the devil [stand firm against him] and he will flee from you. Come close to God [with a contrite heart] and He will come close to you.

That is why I say that there is power in release. Release it back to Him. When I try to work it out my way, I have become friends with the world (Satan). God is jealous for that which is within us. Release it to Him. Us trying to fix it on our own just makes it worse. How many times have we tried to fix what was wrong in us? How many of us try to fix what does not match Him in our own power? “You desire to have and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have, because you do not ask.” Ask Him to take it, release it to Him. Our lives in Christ starts with surrender. Do you not think that our growth in Him continues with surrender?

2 Corinthians 3:17-18 (AMP) Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty [emancipation from bondage, true freedom]. And we all, with unveiled face, continually seeing as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are progressively being transformed into His image from [one degree of] glory to [even more] glory, which comes from the Lord, [who is] the Spirit.

Adonai, our Creator, our Father, our Lord, we stand in awe of Your Glory and Majesty. You are Holy. Thank You for sending Your Son to live, die and be the Resurrection Life. Jesus lives so that we can have this new life. Thank You for the gift of the Holy Spirit. Your Word comes alive through the revelation of the Holy Spirit. We repent for trying to work out our salvation apart from You. We repent for keeping parts of ourselves separated. We thank You that at the moment of release, You empower us to succeed. It is through Your great love for us that we release control. We release our desire to live on our own terms. We release our thoughts into Your perfect thoughts. We cannot do this without You. We choose to surrender today. We choose to forgive today. We choose love today. We choose joy today. We choose hope today. We choose to release it all to You today. In Jesus Name, Amen.

December 26, 2022December 26, 2022

Celebrate Christmas Year Round

2 Corinthians 5:17 (AMP) Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life].

I pray you had a wonderful time celebrating Christmas with your families. My family and I are away from home, enjoying each other, in the mountains of Tennessee. We take this time to just be us. We go on adventures, eat out at new places and spend time in a new environment to check on our growth status as a family.

I think we should do that regularly as believers as well. We get so comfortable in our routines. I use to read the above scripture and think that it only applied to the moment I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. That is just part of it. Freedom comes when you realize that spiritual awakening brings new life. My spirit man became alive, yes, however I did not know it’s fullness until I started applying the next verse.

2 Corinthians 5:18-20 (AMP) But all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ [making us acceptable to Him] and gave us the ministry of reconciliation [so that by our example we might bring others to Him],that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting people’s sins against them [but canceling them]. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation [that is, restoration to favor with God]. So we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making His appeal through us; we [as Christ’s representatives] plead with you on behalf of Christ to be reconciled to God.

I am a minister of reconciliation, and if you are in Christ, so are you. As I surrender and pursue after a relationship with the Father, His spirit will begin to speak to my spirit and reveal things in His Word that will cause me to grow and get stronger spiritually. There is no magic formula. I cannot wait to feel it in my emotions. This is a decision I have to make. I have to determine to want the new.

Read your Word not to get your streaks, and not to get your goal to read in a certain amount of time. Read your Word with a surrendered heart. “God what are you saying to me today?” I cannot allow my emotions to lead my life or run my life. It is not about the feeling, it about the character and nature as revealed through His Word.

How can we celebrate Christmas year round? How do I determine if this new life is a part of me continually? Be determined each day to grow in God. How? 1) Through relational development. I must be committed to spending time with God. 2) Through personal surrender. I must be willing to say no to things in my life that pulls me away from the development and relationship with Him. 3) Make myself available to serve. If you have number one and number two and you do not have an outlet in the kingdom, then you really are not growing in anything. If you have number three with out numbers one and two, you are doing it for self promotion and not kingdom building. It is in the moments that you serve that the things that you have learned will be tested and proven. Being available to serve is proving ground in what you said you learned. I would also like to suggest that being available to serve will reveal your calling…the calling to the ministry of reconciliation.

Father, I thank you for the gift of love that you show and give. Let me be an example of that love by answering the call into the ministry of reconciliation. Through your Son I have been made a new creation. The person I was yesterday, is different from who I am today. I choose to grow in your Word and in your ways by developing a closer relationship with you. I choose to serve as I grow. I choose to surrender as I grow. Your life is better than my old life. You are where I find my fullness. Let me be an example of that to others. In Jesus Name, Amen.

October 27, 2022October 27, 2022

The transformation of hope

1 Peter 3:13-15 (AMP) Now who is there to hurt you if you become enthusiastic for what is good?But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness [though it is not certain that you will], you are still blessed [happy, to be admired and favored by God]. Do not be afraid of their intimidating threats, nor be troubled or disturbed [by their opposition].But in your hearts set Christ apart [as holy—acknowledging Him, giving Him first place in your lives] as Lord. Always be ready to give a [logical] defense to anyone who asks you to account for the hope and confident assurance [elicited by faith] that is within you, yet [do it] with gentleness and respect.

Imagine your younger self. What did you look like when you received Christ as your Lord and Savior? I often look back at the person I was. I look back at the eighteen year old girl, who had gotten engaged a few months before. I look at the girl that when she accepted Christ immediately enrolled in her future in-laws seminary. I was taken right away, it seems, to buy the appropriate clothes. Even though I was new in Christ, it took me a long time to get to the above scriptures. The seed of change was planted, it was not rooted yet.

I heard from someone that knew me back then that it is so good to see me now, because they did not know if I was going to make it. They did not know if I would ever reflect the changed life. I put on the right clothes, didn’t I? I attended all of the right classes, didn’t I? I am at every church service. I have done whatever I was asked. I am baptized in the Holy Spirit with the evidence of tongues. I am a tither. What was missing?

My account of hope. Love always hopes. I had to get to a place where it was not the love of people, but His love I was settled in. Even though I was going through the steps, I still did not feel like I was enough. I was missing something. I was missing the relational development that goes along with the personal surrender. Since I was missing this, I was not able to see and respond with grace, love, mercy, kindness and gentleness. When my heart turned to wanting to share that hope, a change happened. Discipleship is not teaching rules, it is teaching relationship, by showing relationship. This is what I needed most and what I have decided to give to others. I needed grace, so I am giving grace. I needed compassion, so I am giving compassion. I needed freedom, so I am showing freedom.

When I share my faith, that logical defense for the hope and confident assurance of who I am in Christ, I share who I was before. I share that it was the draw to be loved and not have to question if I am enough. Psalms 45:11, in the Passion Translation says, “For your royal Bridegroom is ravished by your beautiful brightness. Bow in reverence before him, for he is your Lord!” Some translations say that He is enthralled by you. When I got revelation of that, I was not afraid that I was not enough, not to say that those thoughts do not to creep up every now and again. There are thoughts that will come in and try to rob my identity in Christ. I have to remind myself that I am rooted in His love (Ephesians 3:17). I have to remind myself that surrender happens daily. I am not the same person I was yesterday. I am not the same girl I was twenty four years ago. I am not the same person I was five years ago. I am a new creation (1 Corinthians 5:17), spiritual awakenings and new revelations bring new life every day. I am a continual work in progress. What may have meant to hurt me, will not, because I am still blessed and favored by my God. So are you!

Father, I thank you that Your Word is my final authority. I thank you for sending your Son to restore me into a life giving relationship with You. I desire nothing else but to glorify You and to draw others close to You. Search my heart Lord. Root out those areas in my life that clog up the pores of hope. I want to be rooted and grounded in Your Love so when the fiery darts of the enemy come against my mind I can deflect it and will not let it take anchor. Forgive me for the times that I looked at people as the source of my love and comfort. I need them, but my identity is not rooted in them. Thank you for placing people in my life that I may serve as a worship to You. May I see them through the eyes of hope because love always hopes. I choose to surrender my will today. Let me be like a drink offering and pour out my life to You in worship today. I know you are my source of love and compassion. Let freedom flow through me as I lean on the Holy Spirit to guide me in my words and actions today. In Jesus Name, Amen.