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Imperfect is not failure

As I was reading this week I came across in my studies stories of people that Jesus had a personal relationship with. We read of the twelve disciples, of Mary, Martha and Lazarus, and of the countless people He fellowshipped with over meals. What would it be like to have that ability to have that close contact with Jesus? That is what I look for when I read my Word.

What really stood out to me what that none of them were perfect people. They all had some sort of flaw. There are some very notable flaws that we refer to like ‘Doubting Thomas’, ‘Workaholic Martha’, ‘Peter the Denier’, ‘Saul the Persecutor’…kind of sounds like the labels we put on people that have flaws. Why do we label people with their flaws? I talk out of someone who has done the same thing. I have labeled people as ‘Negative Nellie’ or ‘Mouth of the South’. I am not proud of it and had to come this week with a repentive heart.

Doubting Thomas was a man that loved Jesus. He asked questions, that Jesus happily answered. Thomas received deep revelation from the mouth of Jesus. John 14:5 Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?” The response of Jesus is what we have laid much our of Christian foundation on, the importance of Jesus being the only way… (verse 6) Jesus said to him, “I am the the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” We might refer to him as ‘Doubting Thomas’, but Jesus thought He was the perfect person to reveal this revelation to personally.

What about Martha? Martha is the sister of Mary and Lazarus. This was a very dear family to Jesus. He showed great love to them as revealed in the writings of John (John 11:5). We read the story of when Jesus comes to the house, Mary is sitting at the feet of Jesus and Martha wants Jesus to tell Mary to help her. Jesus tells her that Mary is do the most important thing (Luke 10:38-42). Could you just feel pride swell up inside of you if you were corrected instead of getting your way? I know I have that flaw myself. Then we get to Lazarus dying. Jesus knew he was sick but did not come right away (John 11:6), but He did come.

John 11:20-27 Now Martha, as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming, went and met Him, but Mary was sitting in the house. Now Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would have died.” A lot of people like to stop here and take this conversation out of context to prove the heart of Martha, that she liked to scold, but read further. “But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You.” Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha said to Him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” She said to Him, “Yes, Lord, I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, who is it to come into the world.”

Another amazing foundational statement made to someone so very ordinary, someone we have seen have flaws. She received such a revelation that we stand on to this day. Jesus is the resurrection and the life. She received this because she knew who Jesus was personally. Although she knew Him in a way we could never know. She did not just know Him as a person, she knew Him as Lord, and that is how we know Him.

Why is this so important? Let’s look at Peter. Remember, he was the one who denied Jesus three times. He had flaws, but that did not mean he did not have revelation knowledge. Jesus would often test his disciples knowledge in forms of questions or in actions. There was the time He fed the 5000, when He walked on water, when He slept during the storm, when He healed, etc. Here is a time He wanted to know what they knew about Him personally. Matthew 16:13-15 When Jesus came into the region of Caesara Philippi, He asked the disciples, saying, “Who do men say that I , the Son of Man, am?” So they said, “Some say John the Baptist, some Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” He said t them, “But who do you said that I am?” Some great answers right? None of which were true, but they sounded good.

Matthew 16:16-18 Simon Peter answered and said, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” Jesus answered and said to him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it.” On this revelation knowledge, Jesus the Son of the living God, is the foundation for the church. There is a difference between head knowledge and revelation knowledge. Until we seek Jesus on a personal level, all we will have is head knowledge. Things we say can sound good, but we really do not take it to heart to transform us.

There is grace in our flaws. Now I want to be clear that grace does not give us permission to stay in our flaws. Grace is not a free pass to do as we please, to not have consequences and not to be disciplined. Grace is there for when I need Him most. I have used these verses before with the words of Paul: Romans 7:18-24 (MSG) But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I ca will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in the delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

Have you ever felt that way? I know I do sometimes. I mess up and say harsh words. I watch a movie that I should not have watched with my kids. I put off an assignment until the last minute (like this blog, I just could not bring myself to write yesterday). Paul is not saying that we should surrender to living in constant defeat of our flaws. The enemy wants us to look at our imperfections as failures. What he is doing is expressing frustration. His words demonstrate that he longs to be free from those imperfections. Let’s look at the next verse (verse 25 in the Message translation), The answer, that God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

The enemy wants us to look at our imperfections as failures.

This is grace. Jesus can and does. Through this revelation knowledge Paul (as we do) has the energy to keep going. He did not just give into his sin, the influence of sin, he stood on the revelation knowledge of who Jesus is. Paul wanted to serve God with all of his heart and mind. He desired it. I believe that Martha, Thomas and Peter desired that as well. We may know them by their flaws, but He does not. People may remember you by your flaws, you may still be labeled by them. Do not give up hope. Jesus knows, but Jesus does. He is the resurrection and the life. He is the way, truth and the life. He is the Son of the living God. Nothing can separate us from that knowledge. Ground yourself in those words. Do not give up. You are not a failure just because of your imperfections. It just means we have a greater opportunity to have deeper revelation knowledge. To have more of a personal relationship with Jesus.

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Could this be my real life or is it just a fantasy?

On Mother’s Day this year I preached a sermon titled “Could this be my real life or is it just a fantasy?” When God put that title in my mind it took me back to when I was pregnant with my oldest. I remembered being in the restroom at work and a coworker walked in and asked me what it was like to be pregnant. We were the same age and had been married roughly for the same amount of time. My response was that I told her that it felt “surreal.” It was a mix of fact and fantasy. Fact: My body was changing, there was life growing in me. Fantasy: What was my baby going to look like? Would I be a good mother? My baby would be a grown man in a short amount of time, would I be able to prepare him for his future?

When God asks us to take the next step in your life changing walk with Him, would you? Things are going to change. Child birth sure did not feel good while I was going through it, but the reward was so amazing!

What does a life look like that has come alive to God? It is not going to look the same. We all have a deep and earnest desire for something. The thing we desire was placed in us by God; and He has given us the choice to walk in it, but without His Son we cannot be full in it.

John 14:16 (NIV) Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

What is it that of our heart’s desire? Could it be found in the first commandment? Matthew 22:37-38 tells us: Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.”

I like how it is stated in Deuteronomy especially. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and will all your strength (Deut. 6:5 NIV). Very much like how it is stated in Matthew, but the next few verses gives us a deeper understanding of what it looks like. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on doorframes of your houses and on your gates (Deut. 6:6-9).

We do the first part, but lack confidence in the second part. What if that was not a dream? What would it look life if this was a reality in my life? It was not always like that for us. When we first accept Christ we could not wait to tell other’s about Him. This deep passionate love that God desires for us to have takes effort. It takes building within a relationship. That was why Jesus was not liked by the religious leaders of the time. These relationship that He modeled for us to have with His Father took us out of just doing a ritual into an ever growing, maturing relationship. The way I look at it is that religion is wrapped up in fear (refusing to move). Relationship takes faith, because relationships grow and change.

The way I look at it is that religion is wrapped up in fear (refusing to move). Relationship takes faith, because relationships grow and change.

Matthew 13:44 NLT The Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure that a man discovered hidden in a field. In his excitement, he hid it again and sold everything he owned to get enough money to buy the field.

I am not telling you to sell your belongings, but what do we have that stands in the way of us going deeper into the relationship that Jesus desires for us.

Philippians 3:7-16 NKJV But what things were to gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed in His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection of the dead. Not that I have already attained or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid of me. Brethren, I do not count myself as apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God is Christ Jesus. Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if anything you thing otherwise, God will reveal this to you. Nevertheless, to the degree that we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us be of the same mind.

Like Paul, I have not gotten everything that God desires for me, but I press on! I know that I have said this before, but I am not the same person I was a year ago. I am not the same person I was five years ago. As I write this and by the time it will be published it will be nine years since I stood up in front of my church and spoke for the very first time. There have been discouragements along the way. Not everything that I speak or write about will be received with an open heart. However, I press on. There is a prize to be awarded. I cannot see it and I will not receive it until I pass from this life until the next. We cannot let the circumstances of this world to keep us from attaining such things.

My oldest is now sixteen years old. I have made some mistakes while raising him. My perspective had to change because of the way that God designed him. One thing he does understand is that his mom loves God with all of her heart, mind and soul. I have put His Word before him (not beat him with it), but built him up in it. At sixteen he still kisses me before he leaves the house. He will nuzzle me with his head at random parts of the day. It is far better than I could have ever imagined or dreamed. It is a relationship that will forever grow and change.

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In Oceans Deep

Psalms 61:1-2 TPT “O God, hear my prayer. Listen to my heart’s cry. For no matter where I am , even when I’m far from home, I will cry out to you for a father’s help. When I am feeble and overwhelmed by life, guide me into your glory, where I am safe and sheltered.”

There is a worship song that was really popular a few years ago titled "Oceans." Some of the lyrics: You call me out upon the waters 
The great unknown where feet may fall
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise, my soul will rest on Your embrace

There is often the visual of Peter walking out on the water to meet Jesus. For me I have a different visual. If you have ever seen the show Grey’s Anatomy, there is an episode where Meredith gives up once she falls into the water, and drowns. I often think what a state of mind to be in, to just give up. Life and circumstances can feel like an ocean, with waves crashing over head sometimes.

If we are not grounded in Christ, life can become overwhelming. Measuring up to others can become overwhelming. Let downs and disappointments can become overwhelming. When we become overwhelmed, the place we look to is for comfort. We can seek comfort in may different ways.

For me comfort comes when I feel secure. I like a routine and order. There are certain days when I will do a task, and that is the day that task is done. My boys and I have a routine every morning before school. My oldest and I get up at 5:30 so that he can run four miles (he wrestles on the high school team so he has to maintain a certain weight), I have used that time to start walking in the mornings. Then at 6:30 I wake up the youngest and cook breakfast. After breakfast they finish getting ready for school and we sit down to do a devotion. Finally, we are out the door at 7:30 for me to drop them off at school. I take the same route every morning. Then I am off to the gym for whatever workout I have planned for that day. My day continues like this.

If I have in my mind that this is my not get out of pajamas day…I will put on my pajamas after my after-workout shower and I do not plan on leaving the house again that day. This causes a problem when my husband asks me to do something that requires me to leave the house. This is an area in my life that I know I have to work on. Now I have unsettled the balance of the peace in my house because the comfort of my routine has been messed up. Notice I said my routine. I have centered my comfort now on what I want to label as “comfort.”

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 “Praise be to the God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

When it becomes all about me, the comfort that I once sought after is really dysfunction. The devil wants us to run for comfort and cover in places outside of what God has called us to do. I silence the power of God in my life when I love my comfort more than compassion. Then the guilt tries to overwhelm you. God will disrupt my comfort to pull me out of my dysfunction.

God will disrupt my comfort to pull me out of my dysfunction.

This summer I spent a lot of time reading the Old Testament. When I got to first Samuel and read when Saul was anointed, I wept. I wept because I grieved for Saul. I knew his great potential. At the time that Samuel was announcing the king, Saul was no where to be found. Why?

1 Samuel 10: 22 MSG “Samuel went back to God: ‘Is he anywhere around?’ God said, ‘Yes, he’s right over there – hidden in that pile of baggage.'” Why was this such a prophetic statement? Let’s look at Hebrews 12:1, “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” Saul let what other people thought of him weigh him down, the actions he took because of it cost him his anointing.

How does this fit in with me not wanting to get out of my pajamas? What if I missed an opportunity to share the love of Jesus because I wanted to remain “comfortable” all day. Yes, I spent time with Jesus in the Word that day. What if He wanted to do something more through me, but I refused to leave the house? What if Jesus wanted me to show His love to my husband, but I huffed because I had already planned in my mind that I did not want to leave the house. Of course when I start thinking this way, guilt wants to rise up, and I know that is not God. Then we become overwhelmed in our dysfunction all because we scream for comfort.

Like Paul, “I admit that I haven’t yet acquired the absolute fullness that I’m pursuing, but I run with passion into his abundance so that I may reach the purpose that Jesus Christ has called me to fulfill and wants me to discover. I don’t depend on my own strength to accomplish this; however I do have one compelling focus: I forget all of the past as I fasten my heart to the future instead. I run straight to the divine invitation of reaching the heavenly goal and gaining the victory-prize through the anointing of Jesus. So let all who are fully mature have this same passion, and if anyone is not yet gripped by these desires, God will reveal it to them.” Philippians 3:13-15 TPT

Thank you, Jesus, for correcting me and pulling out of my comfort zones, so that I can see more of You working in my life. Thank you for reminding me that I am valuable and I do make an impact in Your Kingdom. Every day is important. I thank you for quickening in me to have an expectation for more than I could ever imagine. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

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Draining Days

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord.” (Isaiah 55:8 AMPC)

There are days where we allow our thoughts to get control of us. Then what becomes even more draining is when we allow others to tell us their thoughts.

It is so very important to surround yourself with people that will build you up. Job was a cheerleader to many, but those who he surrounded himself were not the same for him.

In Job 4 taken from the Message Translation, “You yourself have done this plenty of times, spoken words that clarify, encouraged those who were about to quit. Your words have put stumbling people on their feet, put fresh hope in people about to collapse. But now you’re the one in trouble – you’re hurting!”

Negative people drain me.

Job allowed himself to be surrounded with those that were speaking the problem. Those kind of people drain us. Find a way to get back to your Hiding Place. Negative people drain me. I have to get myself around some faith talkers. How can you spot a faith talker? When they are going through a hard time they have not stopped praising!

We have to do whatever it takes to get us to a place where we do not stop praising Him. My problems no longer are the biggest thing in my life. I no longer see those areas of lack. All I see is Jesus!

Job’s friends (and I have been guilty of this too) tried to explain God. There is no explaining God. There is no reason that we go through what we go through, other than the devil hates us. If he can get you off track, put you on pause, get you distracted, then he has done what he has set out to do.

Paul even says it himself, “But I need something more! For I know that law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in the delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?” (Romans 7:18-24 MSG)

For a moment he sounds a lot like Job. The thing we miss here, is that we want to stop reading. We are like, see, I cannot do this! Paul is not saying we should not surrender to living in constant defeat. What he is doing is expressing anger…he has not received the victory yet. This is a normal reaction.

He continues, “The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but I am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different” (Romans 7:25 MSG).

We are going to have those draining, I do not know if I can make it kind of days. Put your thoughts on Him. It is a choice and it is your choice!