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Teach us how to love well

1 Thessalonians 3:12 (AMP) And may the Lord cause you to increase and excel and overflow in love for one another, and for all people, just as we also do for you

This has been my prayer for the last few months for my church. As the pastors of Connect Church, we admit that we have not loved well. We want to be better, but we know we cannot do it in our own striving. We have to surrender that part of us to God. Why? The Lord will get the glory.

For the past few weeks, we have used Colossians 3:12-14 (MSG) as our base scripture and have been building on it in new ways. We are asking God to show us all directions of it, so that we may get the fullness of it for ourselves and in turn for our church.

Colossians 3″12-14 (MSG) So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Too often we have walked away from relationships that could have encouraged each party to grow closer in the Lord. We often forget that the promises that are found in God’s Word were written for imperfect people, and we can be the most imperfect of them all. We have this hope, “I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6).” We often hold close to this for personal reasons, but I cannot help but notice the next verse, “It is right for me to think this of you all because I have you in my heart…” Do we really think this for ourselves and not for others? I want to love better. So, I have changed my thoughts when negative ones come up about someone else, no matter what happened in the past. The first step in loving well is to think better.

The most important place to learn to love well is to abound in the presence of God. John 15 tells us about abiding. Jesus tells us that part of the abiding is the surrender. I have to surrender the hard things too, so that He can make them bear the fruit of what a relationship with Christ looks like. He says in John 15:10 (MEV), “If you keep My commandments, you will remain in My love, even as I have kept My Father’s commandments and remain in His love.” In order for me to love well, I have to remain in the love that can never run dry. This is the garment of love that I have to put on. In His love, I can love well.

Galatians 5:22-23 (AMP) But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

The opposite of love is fear, which is rooted in pride. It was the first acceptance of Adam that sin had entered the garden. Pride was what brought fear, the desire to be God (to judge right from wrong) had brought death and with it fear and shame (Genesis 3:10). When people do not meet my expectation and they disappoint it is because I am still trying to be judge. I have to surrender that. In order to love well, I have to think better. I know not everyone is going to do the same with me and that is okay. I will not take an account and hold it against them; I am going love well. Not everyone is going to keep their word, I am going to love well. There are going to be those that purposely count you out, I am going to love well. Instead of repeating the matter and get people on my side, I am going to love well.

Here is my prayer now, it was taken from Paul’s writing in Philippians 1:9-11: “This I pray, that our love may abound more and more, growing deeper, in real knowledge and in practical insight, so that we may learn to recognize and treasure what is excellent. That we identify with wisdom the best for each other. That we may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ. We have a desire to lead others out of darkness and into light. That we are filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ. Our desire is to the glory and praise of God, that His glory may be both revealed and recognized. In Jesus Name, Amen.“

I really have a desire for all to grow deeper in their relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Sometimes it comes to admitting that in order to grow, I have to love better. Father, teach me how to love well.

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When fear comes knocking

Psalms 16:5 (AMP) The Lord is the portion of my inheritance, my cup [He is all I need]; You support my lot.

What happens when we are not certain of the future? I am not immune to the goings on in the world, even though I do not turn on the news (it’s mostly negative). I talk to people, not to take on their burdens, but to listen to how it is affecting them.

Galatians 6:2 (AMP) Carry one another’s burdens and in this way you will fulfill the requirements of the law of Christ [that is, the law of Christian love].

There is a right way and a wrong way to take on burdens. We could take on and we become anxious, fearful and even full of rage, that is the wrong way. The right way is to bring peace by aligning our thoughts and our words with Christ.

Matthew 11:28-30 (AMP)  “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened [by religious rituals that provide no peace], and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation]. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me [following Me as My disciple], for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest (renewal, blessed quiet) for your souls. For My yoke is easy [to bear] and My burden is light.”

What happens when fear creeps in because of what you are hearing? I need to know Who’s I am. I need to be rooted and grounded in the Truth.

About six and half years ago I was thrown into uncertainty. I lost my job without notice and without any prospects of another. There was a significant decrease in our income. I did start to drive for Uber during college gameday weekends. One thing we did not stop doing is giving our tithe. I could not see dishonoring God just because of the lot that I was currently in. The amazing thing was, I really did not need to be working in the traditional sense. I was needed elsewhere and just could not see it at the moment. If I had been where I was before, there would not have been anyone available to prepare for the transition our church was in. I would not have been able to meet with the wonderful people that I met during that time. The relationships I was able to develop helped us get to where we are now.

My husband and I went through a situation just recently where our friend pulled out of the business that we were in together. They did not quit; they just moved their business to do it on their own. Our expenses doubled without notice. Do you know what we did not do? Get mad and start slandering our friend. We could have questioned their intent. What looked like calamity in the moment could have caused us to get angry or even bitter. We kept our mouths off and still blessed our friend during the transition. We put them first. Why? We believed God already knew, really does anything surprise Him in what we do. Now on the other side, God knew we would be better than okay.

Psalms 23 (AMP) The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, to guide and to shield me],
I shall not want. He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still and quiet waters. He refreshes and restores my soul (life); He leads me in the paths of righteousness
for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the [sunless] valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort and console me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You have anointed and refreshed my head with oil; My cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell forever [throughout all my days] in the house and in the presence of the Lord.

Keep your mouth off of man. When we question the intent of whether people are for us, then we have stepped into the role of judge. We judge fruit, not intentions. We give too much power to the enemy when we always talk about the ways he is against us. He has no authority, unless you give it to him. What about governing officials? God never gives us allowance to dishonor them either. We are to pray for them. The Lord already knows. Who is your faith in? The moment that you have allowed it to rob your joy, is the moment that you have given in.

What happens with fear comes knocking? I think about James 1:2-4, “Consider it nothing but joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you fall into various trials. Be assured that the testing of your faith [through experience] produces endurance [leading to spiritual maturity, and inner peace]. And let endurance have its perfect result and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfect and completely developed [in your faith], lacking in nothing.” Practice one of my breath prayers, “I count it all joy.” I put my focus back on my Father. What if what looks like calamity actually brings you closer to the Father? What if it sparks a revival? That is exactly what happened with me six and half years ago.

My prayer for you today is taken from Colossians 3:15, “Let the peace of Christ [the inner calm of one who walks daily with Him] be the controlling factor in your hearts [deciding and settling questions that arise]. To this peace indeed you were called as members in one body [of believers]. And be thankful [to God always].” Let us continue to be thankful. We repent for our negative thinking and choose to count it all joy. Our trust in You. We choose love today. We choose peace today. We choose forgiveness today. We choose hope today. We choose joy today. In Jesus Name, Amen.