Psalms 22:1 (NKJV) My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? Why are You so far from helping Me, and from the words of My groaning?
We are in what we like to call Holy Week. It is the week from which Jesus entered the city on a colt and ending with Him on the cross, but we all know that was not the end. During this week, Jesus would have fulfilled nearly thirty prophecies from the Old Testament. He fulfilled nearly twenty on just the day of His crucifixion. Over three hundred during His earthly ministry.
I am drawn to His final words on the cross. For as long as I can remember, I have been thinking that He was in anguish, and physically He was. How was His mind? I have just completed Job this week and starting to read in Psalms. I have a love hate relationship with Psalms. I had never been big into listening to other people whine. As I have grown in Christ and in His love, my compassion has grown. However, I do tend to stay away from negative people. Negativity can be contagious. I have my moments of complaining like others, but I am quicker to correct it than before.
There are two quotes from Psalms that Jesus spoke on the cross. One is above, and the other is from Psalms 31:5, “Into Your hand I commit my spirit; You have redeemed me, O Lord God of truth.” One to some may be of anguish, the other of peace. What if He was always at peace? Even in His physical anguish, He was at peace. We have heard the adage, “while He was on the cross, you were on His mind.” Christ was not double minded.
James 1:8 (AMP) being a double-minded man, unstable and restless in all his ways [in everything he thinks, feels, or decides].
What if when Jesus quoted from Psalm 22, He was pointing to scripture for hope to His followers? Jesus often taught from Psalms, He quoted scripture all the time. So why this Psalm? Check out the last few verses:
Psalms 22:25-31 (AMP) My praise will be of You in the great assembly. I will pay my vows [made in the time of trouble] before those who [reverently] fear Him. The afflicted will eat and be satisfied; Those who [diligently] seek Him and require Him [as their greatest need] will praise the Lord. May your hearts live forever! All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the Lord, and all the families of the nations will bow down and worship before You, for the kingship and the kingdom are the Lord’s and He rules over the nations. All the prosperous of the earth will eat and worship; All those who go down to the dust (the dead) will bow before Him, even he who cannot keep his soul alive. Posterity will serve Him; They will tell of the Lord to the next generation. They will come and declare His righteousness to a people yet to be born—that He has done it [and that it is finished].
What we center our minds on will be the direction our lives go. I could go one of two ways while reading Psalms. I can allow my pity and anguish to overtake me, or I can read it in its entirety and get the heart of what the writers were saying. Our hope and our fullness is in our God. Who is my greatest need? Is it my husband? Is it my kids? Is it that I have friends? Is it that I have money? My greatest need is my Lord.
When Jesus had us on His mind, He did not give Himself an opportunity to focus on Himself. Christ was the perfect example of humility. He literally died to self that day, the agony of it all was worth it for us. For the glory of the Father. They will tell of the Lord to the next generation. They will come and declare His righteousness to a people yet to be born (that was you and me), that He has done it and that it is finished.
So now when I read that part of scripture in Mattew 27:46, “About the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud [agonized] voice, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” What He was going through physically was not what He was allowing Himself to feel mentally. He won the battle that day and let the enemy know it. He was not double minded. He was firm and secure. He was seeing it to completion.
Ephesians 6:10-18 (MSG) And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no weekend war that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.
God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. That is what Jesus wielded that day on the cross. That is why we are to bind it on our minds. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith and salvation are our weapons. They were the same weapons Jesus used on the cross. God is strong, and He wants you strong. Reflect on the hope of it all this week. Jesus in our King and our Conqueror!
2 Timothy 3:16-17 (AMP) All Scripture is God-breathed [given by divine inspiration] and is profitable for instruction, for conviction [of sin], for correction [of error and restoration to obedience], for training in righteousness [learning to live in conformity to God’s will, both publicly and privately—behaving honorably with personal integrity and moral courage]; so that the man of God may be complete and proficient, outfitted and thoroughly equipped for every good work.
At the beginning of every year I pull out a stack of books to read. My intention is to read from the stack, but as usual I see a new book, and I have to buy it and read it right away. Included in my books are devotions, Bible Studies, and my Bible. In the middle of last year I slowed down my momentum as I had allowed a distraction to dwindle out my hunger. Thankfully I have moved out of it and started reading again. I also started reading a verse at a time in Ephesians and really digging into the greek translations of some of the words, as well as, getting into the context of what Paul was writing for that book. I hope to complete it in 2025 and will share some deep insights. Like last year, I have pulled out a few books to get you some of my favorites. Here is what I read in 2024:
7 Devotionals:
Life in His Presence by Sarah Young
Emmanuel by Ruth Chou Simons
Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
From Faith to Faith by Kenneth and Gloria Copeland
Daily Devotions from Psalms by Joyce Meyer
Live in Grace, Walk in Love by Bob Goff
Be Joyful by Joyce Meyer
39 Books:
You’re Valuable to God by Terri Savelle Foy
Is God Speaking to Me by Lysa Terkerurst
Praying Circles Around Your Children by Mark Batterson
How to Pray by Joyce Meyer
Raised in the Pew by Re’na Garcia
Don’t Shrink Your Dream! Enlarge Your Faith! by Terri Savelle Foy
Humility the Joy of Self-Forgetfulness by Gavin Ortlund
The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller
The Three Battlegrounds by Francis Frangipane
Break Up with What Broke You by Christian Bevere
Living in Absolute Freedom by Donna Parton
Victory Over Darkness by Neil Anderson
Breaking Intimidation by John Bevere
Testosterone Matters by Gary Donovitz
A Heart Like His by Beth Moore
Get Out of that Pit by Beth Moore
Wicked Women of the Bible by Ann Spangler
The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller
Let it Go by Karen Ehman
It’s Not About You by Max Lucado
The Believer’s Authority by Kenneth Hagin
Understanding the Purpose and Power of Prayer by Dr. Myles Munroe
Unmasking the Jezebel Spirit by John Paul Jackson
Strategic Pastoral Counseling by David Benner
The Names of Jesus by A.B. Simpson
Do Yourself a Favor…Forgive by Joyce Meyer
Sheep Goats and Wolves by Mark Barclay
Good Boundaries and Goodbyes by Lysa Terkeurst
How to Always Reap a Harvest by Mark Barclay
Improving Your Performance by Mark Barclay
Six Ways to Check Your Leading by Mark Barclay
Avoiding the Pitfalls of Familiarity by Mark Barclay
Drawing Near by John Bevere
Finding God’s Life for My Will by Mike Donehey
Redefined by Arden Bevere
The Missing Read Letters by Mark Barclay
Are You Praying for the Wrong Thing? by Travis Greene
Supernatural Provision for Your Vision by Jerry Savelle
Raised to Stay by Natalie Runion
The Three Battle Grounds by Francis Frangipane: An in-Depth view of the three arenas of Spiritual Warfare: The mind, the church and the heavenly places. Spiritual Warfare is not some cookie nonsense. Now, there are some fruity some that Christians do that do not line up with the Word. First and foremost, there will be a constant renewal you will need to do with your mind. Your mind, will and emotions are what makes up your soul. Many Christians are still bound to what we call strongholds, there is freedom in Christ, but most Christians do not know how to access that freedom. “What men call “salvation” is simply the first stage to God’s plan for our lives, which is to conform out character and power to the image of Jesus Christ. If we fail to see our relationship to God as such, we will allow too many areas within us to remain unchanged. Pulling down strongholds is the demolition and removal of our old ways of thinking so that the actual presence of Jesus Christ can be manifested through us.” If we want to be effective in the body of Christ and bring Heaven down, then we need to start with some tearing down of some strongholds. The Battleground of the Church was very intriguing to me because of my love for the church. Here are the titles of the chapters in this section: The Lord Whose Sword is Drawn, Beware of the Stronghold of Cold Love, The Gift of Discernment, Eliminating False Discernment, Repairers of the Breach, God’s Army of Worshipers, Casting Down the Accuser of the Brethren. Here is what he has to say about those who claim they do not need the church, they just need Jesus. “To those whose attitude is, ‘I am content with just Jesus and me,’ I say it is wonderful that you have found Jesus. But you cannot truly have Jesus and simultaneously not do what He says. The outgrowth of love and faith in Christ is love and faith like Christ’s, which means we are committed, even as He is, to His people. You see, the kingdom of God is most perfectly revealed in our relationships with one another. To have the kingdom, we must be committed to one another as individuals and as churches.” We must also be aware of the Battleground of Heavenly Places. Remember we do not fight against flesh and blood, but no person should try to usurp control over your relationship with Christ. There are many voices trying to ring out, pay attention to the one that points to Christ. The anti-Christ spirit will hate conforming to the Word of God. This spirit hates when you talk about surrender. I spent a lot of time reading books on the Jezebel Spirit this year. I wanted to understand more. Basically, this spirit hates authority because they want to be in control. This is often birthed out of offense. All of this ties back into renewing your mind in the Word daily.
Drawing Near: A life of intimacy with God by John Bevere: I love reading John Bevere’s books. I also recommend getting the app MessengerX, it is free. There are so many courses you can view and podcasts to listen to. I was attracted to this book because my heart’s desire is to have a lifestyle of intimacy with God. I want to minister through the overflow. As we mature in Christ we learn the balance of works and worship. “Many well meaning believers have fallen into the trap of replace time with God with busy Christian lifestyles. This can also include the deceptive and continuous labor in ministry.” God dwells where we reverence Him (a healthy fear of the Lord) and we are within the realm of humility. We are still fighting our flesh here and one of those areas we have to fight against is the right to self. We should not be first place in our lives. I do not want to live that way anyways. It is too exhausting. James 4:6-10 (AMP) But He gives us more and more grace [through the power of the Holy Spirit to defy sin and live an obedient life that reflects both our faith and our gratitude for our salvation]. Therefore, it says, “God is opposed to the proud and haughty, but [continually] gives [the gift of] grace to the humble [who turn away from self-righteousness].” So submit to [the authority of] God. Resist the devil [stand firm against him] and he will flee from you. Come close to God [with a contrite heart] and He will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; and purify your [unfaithful] hearts, you double-minded [people]. Be miserable and grieve and weep [over your sin]. Let your [foolish] laughter be turned to mourning and your [reckless] joy to gloom. Humble yourselves [with an attitude of repentance and insignificance] in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you [He will lift you up, He will give you purpose]. The closer you live this way, the less you live for yourself. The opposite can also be found in us when we live for ourselves, we will be found in rebellion and pride. The defense of self is rooted in pride. Do you desire peace in your life? Get a hold of what God’s definition of humility is. I am so serious about wanting to get over this area that I also read two other books on the subject, Humility the Joy of Self-Forgetfulness by Gavin Ortlund and The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller. They are in my reading pile again this year.
The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Timothy Keller with Kelly Keller: Every year my husband and I do a message for Love Sunday, which coincides with Valentine’s Day weekend. This is one of the books I read to prepare for in 2024 and am still going back to some things in 2025. Do you want to know what the number one killer for a marriage is? Self-centeredness. Many go into a marriage thinking it will make their lives better. Spoiler alert. Marriage is a greater way to serve. When we look to anyone other than Christ to fulfill our every need, then we are going to be disappointed. Whether you are the husband of the wife, you are not to sacrifice for yourself but for the other. Ephesians 5:21 (AMP) Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. How we treat our spouse is a direct reflection of our reverential fear of the Lord. “Serving your spouse also means showing that you are committed to his or her well-being and flourishing. This kind of love is given when you seek to help your spouse develop gifts and pursue aspirations for growth. There is no greater way for Christian spouses to serve one another than to help each other grow spiritually. This means encouraging each other to participate together actively in church, in Christian community.” While traditionally marriage was for status, social duty and stability now it is seen as a way for personal fulfillment. Neither of these are completely wrong, but they are not completely right either. Ultimately if the gospel has not changed your mind and heart, you will not be successful in your marriage. This year my husband and I will be discussing the importance of your spouse and you being the best of friends.
Avoiding the Pitfalls of Familiarity by Mark Barclay: I actually read six books of his this year. We have access to as many books of his as we would like because he is a father in the faith to my husband. Pastors need pastors and Pastor Barclay is one we have called on. He shoots straight and is Word only. If it is not found in the Word then he will not preach on it. A pitfall of familiarity is the equalizer. A prime example in the Bible was Aaron and Miriam in the Bible. Read Numbers 12. Really it is a form of pride in our lives. This books is talking about familiarity in relation to our pastors, teachers, prophets, evangelist and apostles. Here is what he has to say: “If you do not esteem someone more highly than yourself (someone you consider more important than yourself, some you respect as much -if not more- than yourself, someone whose teaching and lifestyle you admire), then you will find yourself sitting at your own feet to learn. You will become your own teacher. That’s dangerous because the next step is that you become your own advisor; then you become your own counselor. The Bible states that only a fool thinks he is right in his own mind. It’s of utmost importance that everyone, including leaders, has someone whom they look up to. It’s a healthy relationship, not an abnormal one. The abnormal relationship is quite the contrary. When you thing more highly of yourself than you ought to think, you’ve made yourself your own leader in the Lord. You’ve set yourself up in a form of pride.” Familiarity will bring judgement and you will become critical. You will even lose confidence in those that are to speak into your life. This is an area of our life that is easy to fall into, Jesus even had to deal with it with His disciples. It will cause you to not believe the Word. Be careful. You do not have to stay in it. There is always hope and restoration. Miriam was restored.
Emmanual: An Invitation to Prepare Him Room at Christmas and Always by Ruth Chou Simons: I love doing a devotion just for Christmas. This year I started decorating my house on November 1st. It is still up will be coming down sometime next week. I believe that as much as we talk about the miracle of Jesus with us at Christmas should be talked about all year long. This devotion was divided into four sections: Our Posture, God’s Promise, Our Response, Our Messiah. Our posture and our response has a lot to do with receiving God’s promises in our lives. “Jesus is more than a baby, more than a beautiful miracle in a harsh world. He is more than a familiar figure sung about in festive tunes. Jesus is God with us – Immanuel, just as the angel of the Lord told Joseph.” What do you treasure? That is the whole message of this devotion. Yes there is a call to repentance in it. There should never be a time in our lives that we do not surrender. Is Christ your ultimate treasure? Psalms 16:11 (AMP) You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore. A life transformed, Emmanuel, God with us. We can now abide with Christ. I dwell with Him as He dwells within me. I am forever changed.
It is hard for me to just pick out a few books, or just a couple. I love to read. Why read books like this? I desire to glean as much revelation as possible. When I read my Bible, He will bring back to remembrance other things I have read. My desire is to be in His fullness. What will I do with these books now that I am done? They are going back on my shelf to be read again at a later time. I already pulled out a couple to reread again this year. I want to grow deeper in His Word every year. I want to be a doer of His Word. People are important. I want others to grown deeper in God too. That is why I make time for discipleship. I want to be available for the opportunities to enlarge His kingdom this year like never before.
Lord of Lords, Kings of Kings, Alpha and Omega, the First and the Last, You are who reigns above it all. You are Worthy of Honor and Praise. No other Name is above Yours. Thank You for sending Your Son to be the Lamb, the Root of David, the Word made flesh. We are walking in righteousness because of You. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit now dwelling in us. We now can walk in the fullness You created us in. We repent for not standing on the truth of Your Word. We have fallen in the trap of lusting after our own gratification. We choose to surrender to Your Word, Your Will and Your Ways. As we read Your Word, let it be a Light and Beacon of Freedom. We choose to walk in Your statutes and precepts. We are casting off any exalted thought that does not line up with forgiveness and has misaligned us to take on jealousy, envy, bitterness, resentment and anger. We choose freedom this year. We choose joy this year. We choose hope this year. We choose love this year. Grow Your Love in us, so that it is all that flows out of us. We choose surrender this year. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Ephesians 4:15-16 (AMP) But speaking the truth in love [in all things—both our speech and our lives expressing His truth], let us grow up in all things into Him [following His example] who is the Head—Christ. From Him the whole body [the church, in all its various parts], joined and knitted firmly together by what every joint supplies, when each part is working properly, causes the body to grow and mature, building itself up in [unselfish] love.
This Sunday I had the privilege of delivering the message to our church. My husband was (and still is) recovering from turbinate reduction from the previous week, and was not quite ready to be a part of the world again. One of the biggest challenges is having to open and close the service. We have an amazing team at Connect Church, and they stood up and took roles that really made for a great day.
My husband and I have been in a series for the past six months called, My Calling. Why? We have become a culture of people that wants to know what our calling is and what our purpose is. The answer they receive, to keep them or draw them, is that it is self focused. Our answer has been counter culture but Kingdom culture. We all have the same calling and that is the ministry of reconciliation. Even though I am called to be a pastor, my initial calling and everything I do within that scope must be to fulfill my main calling of the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18). We all have the same purpose and that is to grow in Christ. We all have different gifts and my gifting to teach and administrate is to be directed to the purpose of growing in Christ. Therefore, putting them together my ministry of reconciliation will also bring others to their purpose of growing in Christ. I am no longer developing my gifts, I am developing my purpose.
Ephesians 4:21-24 (AMP) If in fact you have [really] heard Him and have been taught by Him, just as truth is in Jesus [revealed in His life and personified in Him], that, regarding your previous way of life, you put off your old self [completely discard your former nature], which is being corrupted through deceitful desiresand be continuallyrenewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh, untarnished mental and spiritual attitude], and put on the new self [the regenerated and renewed nature], created in God’s image, [godlike] in the righteousness and holiness of the truth [living in a way that expresses to God your gratitude for your salvation].
We have been made new creations in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17), but that does not mean that our old nature does not try to live. Before we knew Christ, we lived independently of God. That is the old nature and thought patterns we having to constantly put off. The deceitful desires are not just something a new baby in Christ has to be aware of. It is for all maturity levels. That is why Paul tells us to be “continually renewed in the spirit of the mind.” What do we constantly have to renew about in our mind? Who we are in Christ…I am rooted and grounded in Christ, I have the mind of Christ, I live according to Christ, and I am free because of Christ. When I lived independently of God I thought about self first, now that I am not independent and called into the ministry of reconciliation, I think about ways to promote others to Christ. My desires are fulfilled when I seek the Kingdom of God first, because my desire is to see others united with Him. He gives me the desires of my heart because I am walking in Kingdom Purpose, to know and grow in Christ.
How are some ways I can renew my mind to put on the new nature everyday? Know that you are now a child of God (Romans 8:16). You do not have to try to become a child of God when you are one in Christ. You are now grounded in the truth of your salvation (John 8:32). You are now a Kingdom citizen. Christ paid the price for your emotional freedom, you no longer have to be a slave to your feelings (Galatians 5:1). You have been accepted and forgiven (Romans 5:8). Christ paid the price for you even when you were still a sinner. Your position of submission is a choice (Romans 13:1-5). Just like believing and renewing your mind regarding everything that you are a part of, submission is a choice. We have to renew our mind for submission. It is essential to our growth and maturity in Christ, but in the culture we live in today, it is one of the hardest for the believer to do. There is freedom when you do. Let me be a witness to that. I no longer live, but Christ in me, is what Paul constantly tells us. When we refuse to submit, we are choosing that independent old nature, we are still living for ourselves. I am rooted and grounded in Christ, He can have every part of me.
What is my purpose? To Grow in Christ. What is my ministry? The ministry of reconciliation. When I focus on these two things I am living now free in Christ. I cannot help but want to share that freedom with others. It is really quite simple and not self focused anymore. I am now Kingdom focused!
Father, You are so wonderful. Thank You for being our creator. You created us in love and desire us. Thank You for sending Your Son as a expression of that love. Thank You for sending us the Holy Spirit to be our Teacher of love. We repent for the times we still lived for us, independently of You. We are choosing to renew our minds in Christ and putting on the fullness of what He came to restore us to. Thank You for Your patience and mercy as we grow in that fullness. We invite You into every part of ourselves. We are now secure in You and have no fear of letting go to submit to Your authority, even when it comes through the avenue of mankind. Let us not look at each other the same way, but through Your perfect lens. We are thankful for the ministry You have entrusted us, the ministry of reconciliation. We choose forgiveness today. We choose hope today. We choose love today. We choose growth today. We choose freedom today. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Desiring for More 