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Something to Ponder

Luke 2:19 (AMP) But Mary treasured all these things, giving careful thought to them and pondering them in her heart.

Have you ever just sat down and thought about how far you have come? My husband and I like to do this together sometimes. We will sit down and talk about all the people we have met, the things we have done with our family, and the home we have made. We will talk about the moment we met and if we could have ever imagined sitting there together twenty seven years later. We will talk about our church and the changes that have happened. We will encourage each other, because there are times when we think they are set backs, but there are exactly where God want us to be. We talk about our growing moments.

I have started doing this with our sons. I will tell them a story about how far we have come. We have raised them to not have to struggle. That has been a blessing, but it also is not completely beneficial. They will be out on their own soon and they need to grow on their own. Mom and dad want to protect them, but we need to point them in the direction of who their true source really is. So I tell them about us trusting God and that we are where we are because of our faith in His promises. It is not magic, it is principles of the Kingdom at work. At the beginning of our marriage, my husband and I chose to put God first in all things. There is only one Savior and His Name is Jesus.

Our Christmas tree is already up. It may be early to some. We did have the tradition of putting up the tree the day after Thanksgiving, but as the kids are now teenage boys, they are off doing other activities. My husband has been at me to buy a new tree for a few years now. Why? Because of the shedding issue. Piles and piles of needles shed off every year. Finally, this year, it had to be done. The branches were broken, snapped while put in storage last year. On our way to pick out a new tree, I was telling my youngest about when we bought the old one. It was the year 2003 and I was expecting his older brother in just two more months. We had put a tree on lay away to use for his first Christmas. It was pre-lit with white lights. We had bought real trees before then, but our cats would drink the water and they would dry out (which is dangerous). My oldest will be turning 19 in a few months, so it did not quite make it twenty years. That is a long time to hold onto something.

The best part is holding onto the memories we made, and will continue to make. It was a great time to share about priorities and how far God has brought us. We talked about sacrifice on our way to pick up the new tree and what it means to be a good steward. We looked for opportunities to be a blessing to someone. We did not rush in and get the one item and then rush home. We watched out for others and allowed them to go first. I pray these moments we spend with them will be pondered later on. I treasure them and hope they do too.

Can you see how far you have come in your walk with the Lord? Can you look back and see all of the many ways that He has blessed your life? Can you look back and think of the majesty of it all? I sure can.

Father, I thank you for the person reading this right now. Let them know that they are loved and seen by you. We stand in awe of you. Your majesty is to be treasured. We are thankful for the life that you have laid out before us. May we take advantage of the moments to share your glory. We ask you to heal any broken area in our lives. We give it freely back to you. We have tried to fix things on our own or hold onto things too long, and it is time to let it go. Thank you for the growing moments. We thank you for putting people in our lives to grow us and for us to help grow. We are not called to do this alone. We thank you for placing us in the ministry of reconciliation. Help us see the way that you see. Help us love the way you love. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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Two Forty Somethings at Disney

Malachi 2:15 (MSG) God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you.

Every year my husband and I do a message called “Love Sunday.” This year the message will take place on Sunday, February 13th. It is something we started when Valentine’s Day fell on a Sunday, once we became lead pastors, and we have continued it ever since. In preparation, I usually spend a month before studying and getting as much material together as possible. We do not just need to teach this, we need to be doers (as we have), but we needed to step it up a notch.

This year my husband and I will be married twenty two years. That is a long time for some. To me, it is just the beginning. My grandparents were married for over sixty years before they passed away. One thing I remember about them, even after the kids had grown up and left, was they sat down together for breakfast every morning. When I was a little girl, I remember my grandfather would come in from working third shift at the mill (he worked in the boiler room); my sisters, and sometimes along with our cousins, would have stayed the night with our grandmother. I would be the first up and join them at the table for coffee and reading the paper (they gave me the comics section). I noticed that my grandmother would not just fix him something to eat, she would sit down and join him at the table. They continued this even when he retired.

When was the last time you just spent time with your spouse? My husband and I got to do just that this past week. We were scheduled to take a cruise to the West Caribbean. This trip was originally planned for May of 2020, to celebrate our twentieth anniversary. As we all know, Covid detoured that. We rescheduled it for Spring of 2021, but the cruise industry still had not started back up again. We scheduled it again for this month. Covid stopped us again and we decided to take that money and just drive down to Orlando, Florida. My husband and I went to Disney World without our teenage boys. We called on my mom to be with them at night and left those boys at home. My husband had already taken the time off, so we were not going to stop our time alone again.

We had the most fun! Disney as an a grown couple, without kids, is quite an experience. We got to act like we were goofy teenagers again. Considering we started dating when I was fifteen and he was eighteen, this was like an old hat. We rode all the different rides. We got to experience new things. We flirted with each other. We got to spend every moment together from sun up, to sun down, for seven whole nights!!

Why was this important? The Word tells us to “guard the spirit of marriage within you.” Part of guarding something means that you need to make sure it is strong. Nothing will come between you. You will protect it.You honor it. You will not do any of those things if you do not see value in your marriage. You guard something that you value.

“God, not man, made marriage. His spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage…” Invite the Holy Spirit into your marriage. Invite Him into the smallest details. What details do you need to give Him access to?

Jesus tells us in Matthew 19:12 (MSG) “But if you are capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.” God is in the small details. Marriage is a relationship that Jesus compared His love for the Body of Christ to. Do you not think it is special to Him? Treat it as such.

Today I encourage you to do something to strengthen your marriage. If you cannot do a week away, try to plan an over night activity. If you usually do not sit down together for a meal at home, may I encourage you to start there. Play a game together. Read a book together. Cook a meal together. Grow into the largeness of your marriage!

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Let it shine!

John 1:9 (AMP)  There it was—the true Light [the genuine, perfect, steadfast Light] which, coming into the world, enlightens everyone.

Here we are two days after Christmas. The time of the year that we celebrate the true Light coming into the world. The way my chronological reading plan worked out is that I started the New Testament yesterday with Luke 1 and John 1. The past few weeks (December 1-24) I took a chapter in Luke per day and read it along with my other readings. Today I wanted to focus in on John’s perspective. He starts off with Christ is the Word and the Light.

John 1:1-8 (AMP) In the beginning [before all time] was the Word (Christ), and the Word was with God, and the Word was God Himself. He was [continually existing] in the beginning [co-eternally] with God. All things were made and came into existence through Him; and without Him not even one thing was made that has come into being. In Him was life [and the power to bestow life], and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines on in the darkness, and the darkness did not understand it or overpower it or appropriate it or absorb it [and is unreceptive to it]. There came a man commissioned and sent from God, whose name was John. This man came as a witness, to testify about the Light, so that all might believe [in Christ, the Light] through him. John was not the Light, but came to testify about the Light.

Christ came so that He could restore us to our rightful place with the Father. He came to be Savior to the world, but He is so much more than that. We begin our relationship with Him as our Savior. That moment that changes our life and we let the Light in. The Light is always going to point us to the Word. The Word should bring life to you. Do you dread reading the Word? Does it seem boring to you? Are you one who says that you read and get nothing out of it? The Holy Spirit can help with that.

Whenever a person tells me they want to grow more in their relationship with God, or they are ready to surrender entirely to Him, I ask them if they read their Bible and if they pray in the Spirit. If they have never received the baptism of the Holy Spirit then I encourage them to do so.

I remember my moment that I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit. I was nineteen. I had been saved for a little over a year and attending seminary. Their was a missionary ministering at the church and she gave the invitation. I was engaged (to my husband) at the time and we had talked about how important it was for him that before we got married that I was spirit filled. Just a couple of weeks before the missionary had visited our church I had given him a box with his wedding band in it, letting him know that I was ready to take the next step in my relationship with God. We set our wedding date for nearly six months after that moment. Unlike others I know, this was not a manipulation tactic to marriage. This was genuine.

From that moment. The Light was brighter, the Word came alive. The zeal for everything to be reconciled to Christ was greater. Life does happen and if you do not charge your self in the Word and prayer then you will become dim again, but the Light is still somewhere there. So what am I rambling on about? Do not wait until January first to say I want to get in the Word more. Do it today! Why wait? Pray in the Spirit more. If you have never been baptized in the Holy Spirit, message me and I can point you to some scriptures to help with that.

Now that we have our Word and our Light, go as John did and testify of Him. We do not draw people to ourselves, but point them to the Light.

Matthew 15:14-16 (AMP) You are the light of [Christ to] the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good deeds and moral excellence, and [recognize and honor and] glorify your Father who is in heaven.

Let your Light shine!!

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Begin Again

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and for the past few years my husband and I take the time to talk to the church together about marriage and relationships. This year it was important that we talked about managing conflict and walking in forgiveness. This year with the pandemic we have spent more time with our families, especially if you were in a stay at home order like we were.

I think we did pretty good with it. The stressful activity we did was to paint the outside of our house. We have a ranch style home built in 1968, addition was done in 2000. Part of the house is on foundation, the other is crawl space. It is a brick home that was painted a sea foam green. When we moved in thirteen years ago I had always wanted to paint the house, I did not like the color. The home has sixteen windows that looks to be original to the house (except for the addition) and they have the pained glass. We had gotten quotes to get the job done. They ranged from six to eight thousand dollars. The pandemic hit, and we all had to stay home together. My husband and I went out and bought a paint sprayer, rollers, brushes, paper, tape and lots of paint. Stay at home did not mean we could not go outside, and I did not want my kids playing video games all day.

Marriage, more than any other relationship, is going to highlight your flaws. A project of this magnitude with two teenage boys, was going to highlight some flaws as well. We each had a job, and we assisted each other when our job did not need to be done at the moment. The struggle that we found was when we needed help, how to communicate that. In the middle of the frustration on not being able to do this task or problem solve it, how to communicate without filtering that frustration in how we talked to each other.

Ephesians 4:1-3 (TLB) I beg you—I, a prisoner here in jail for serving the Lord—to live and act in a way worthy of those who have been chosen for such wonderful blessings as these. Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Try always to be led along together by the Holy Spirit and so be at peace with one another.

We each have faults. In love, we must make allowances for each other. Grace needed to be applied to each other. Be patient with your children and spouse. Have faith in what your marriage/family can become. Do not heap on expectations on where you think you should be. Enjoy the journey.

Hebrews 12:2 (MSG) Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. 

If in the process of painting the house we fixed your thoughts on the faults and failure’s of each other the project would probably had never gotten completed. Our family relationship would have suffered a great loss. The problems in our marriage/family are going to be magnified if we do not keep our eyes on Jesus. Study how He lived His life. He had some different personalities to do life with.

The problems in our marriage/family are going to be magnified if we do not keep our eyes on Jesus.

The bigger picture is that I want my children to have lasting relationships. The highlighted flaws that their parents have are going to come out in front of them. When my husband and I first got married my reaction to a question or statement would have been returned with a quick straight to the point answer. I filtered my responses through defense. I thought I was always under a microscope waiting for someone to point out my flaws, this person now being my husband. In return, how I answered was not clear or was often misunderstood because of how I said it, not in what I said. This escalated the conversation into a fight. My husband when he is flustered can come off as very aggravated, this combined with filtering through defense was a combination for disaster. One of us needed to do something. I went to a really good source. I went to my Word.

Colossians 3:13 (NLT) Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Philippians 4:8 (TLB) Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.

When tensions started to flair, we had to go back to this. Someone was not ready to change how they approached the problem, that is okay because they need grace in the moment and we are going to give it to them. Did we have a few blow ups? Yes! We are not perfect. In the end, I do not recall what they were about. I do know that the house is painted. We have to redo the porch, we did not seal it…oops! We still love each other. We still enjoy each other’s company. We have had to tackle other projects together and did not dread it!

It is not too late for your marriage or your family. For us, it started with one person making up their mind that they were not going to hold onto offense and to be quick to forgive. I just so happened to be that person in my home. I had to lay down my pride and me wanting to always be right. In turn there was a change in me. I no longer responded in defense. Peace was raging in me, so it was also becoming a part of what our home would be.

You can make up your mind to begin again. What if you spouse is not wanting to make the change? You make the change. Let God work on them. At the end of all of this, we will give an account of what we did, not what they did. I want to hear “well done good and faithful servant”. We are not going to hear “well done perfect servant.” So please stop putting that expectation on the people you have relationships with, including leaders. I want to point out that He uses the word servant. Are we serving in our families? If not, you can begin now. It is not too late. I do not regret making that change. I have my moments, because I am not going to be perfect at it all the time, in return my family have made allowances for me as I have made allowances for them. It is pretty nice.

If you need prayer or would like to talk about anything feel free to email me at amanda@desiringformore.org.

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Do you feel loved?

Ephesians 2:4 (AMP) But God, being (so very) rich in mercy, because of His great and wonderful love with which He loved us.

As I was sitting talking with one of my precious daughters in the Lord, we were talking about the struggles of trusting God the Father. We are both from childhood divorced homes and know the struggles of having our fathers let us down. We talked about marriage and I was reminded of what Christ said about husbands and the church. In reading this, look at it in the perspective of a woman reading it, and how she longs to be loved.

Ephesians 5:25-30 (AMP) Husbands. love your wives (seek the highest good for her and surround her with a caring, unselfish love), just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word (of God), so that (in turn) He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy (set apart for God) and blameless. Even so husbands should and are morally obligated to love their own wives (being in a sense) their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own body, but (instead) he nourishes and protects and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members (parts) of His body.

In the beginning God created all things and he put man in dominion. God saw what He created and saw that it was good. However in Genesis 2:18 we see that it was “not good” that man be alone, some translations say not “beneficial”. He then creates the animals and brings them to the man to name. They were created to be a helper to man, but it still was not a suitable companion for Adam.

Genesis 2:21-23 (AMP) So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at the place. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man He made (fashioned, formed) into a woman, and He brought her and presented her to the man. Then Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

Eve was not mistreated, she was not abused by a father or her husband. Yet the enemy went to her for the first attack against mankind. Adam was right next to her.

Eve was not mistreated, she was not abused by a father or her husband.

When I was fifteen I prayed for God to send me my husband. I felt I was all alone. I felt like I had no one who could love me for me. I told God that if He sent me my husband I would serve Him the rest of my life. A month later I met my husband on a blind date. When I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, do you know what God spoke to my heart? He told me that everything I was making John out to be in my life is who He wanted to be in my life. That John could still hurt and wound my heart, but He never would. That is when I surrendered my life to Him.

The hurt and wounds we have from fathers (or some even their husbands) can cloud the ability to see the love that God truly has and desires for us, causing us to have trust issues. This is why Ephesians 5 is there. As I read the Word I see how much love God has for His daughters. We are so very important. We were created to be strong and to endure so much, but we were created with love. We are important. We have value. We are loved!

Yesterday during service, I had a moment, I was looking out during worship and saw how empty it looked in there. Just a few services before it was full and we were wondering what we could do to make room and still be safe because of COVID. I was taken back to when our church took a big hit because of the financial climate ten years ago, attendance and with that giving dropped tremendously. I was thinking, here we go again God, please help me keep my trust on you (considering we are in a building program).

Do you know how much God loves us? In that moment God spoke a Word to my husband just for me. He let me know that what happened ten years ago will not happen again. I have been confessing this whole time, God I know you can do even if… I have been praying for God to show out in a big way, in a way that it would be no way we could take credit for it. I will keep speaking His Word, I will keep preaching His Word, and I will keep going where He tells me to.

On top of that He gave me a little “I love you, daughter” by my pizza delivery guy making a mistake and I got the salad dressing that I had actually wanted but forgot to order. When I remembered I forgot to change the salad dressing it was too late because he was already on his way. He delivered our order without the salad (I like salad with my pizza). He had to go back for it, but I got to ask him for the correct salad dressing. Look at that! He even said when he returned, it just so worked out so that you could get the salad dressing you wanted. Those are what I call daddy moments.

God sees us and wants to do so much in our lives. Keep pressing in. Trust Him in His Word. Give Him all things that have you worried or concerned. He will calm the storm inside of you. Even if, He can still do in a big way! I am trusting Him more and more, it takes surrendering more and more. God I am going to keep doing what you called me to do, and watch what you do with it!

John 15:9 (AMP) I have loved you just as the Father has loved Me; remain in My love (and do not doubt My love for you).