Posted on

Shrinking Feeling

Psalms 34:5 (AMP) They looked to Him and were radiant; their faces will never blush in shame or confusion.

Rooted and grounded in love. I have been having to speak that and renew my mind in that these past couple of days. Something I said was not interpreted how I intended to present it. Presenting a message to a group is a very difficult thing. If something can be misinterpreted in a small group, just think about how much it happens on a larger scale. That was my thought. Did I make a mistake? Is it a mistake for me to even be speaking? I wanted to shrink back and hide again. The voice in my head was saying, “see, this is why you do not need to be up there.” I really don’t want to be up there anyways so that is good enough, right? Nope. My hiding place is not to withdraw, but to sink my very self into Him. He is my hiding place.

Matthew 5:14 (AMP) You are the light of (Christ to) the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.

Hiding in Him does not mean I am hidden from my calling. The Light was never meant to be hidden. Radiance is what you will continue to see. I will continue to work in the ministry of reconciliation. Whatever capacity He wants me to do it.

Did it shrink my confidence? Yes. I have a holy fear of leading others away from His heart. That was my question to myself? Did I draw anyone away from Him? Or did I get them to draw deeper to know Him more? Since it was the later, He calmed me. He put me into His rest. That is what hiding in His Presence will do. I have to continue to be Christ minded, not me minded.

This is a pretty short blog, but I felt like that I needed to share some vulnerable moments. In the moments that you are rocked and feel pushed down, keep your focus on Him. He is your hiding place, so that you can continue to let His Light shine through you.

Father, You are more than we can imagine. You are the creator of the universe. You hold everything in the palm of Your hand. Thank You for sending the Redeemer, Jesus.Thank You for the gift of infilling me with Your Presence with the Holy Spirit. Forgive me for doubting myself like it was all up to me. Forgive me for making it about me and wanting to shrink back. All I want to do is be close to You and bring others closer to You. Continue to knock off the rough edges. Continue to renew my mind and my tongue. I choose Your glory today. I choose to hope in You today. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Posted on

I cannot stumble in peace

Psalms 119:165 (MEV) Those who love Your law have great peace, and nothing shall cause them to stumble.

As I was reading Psalms 119 yesterday this verse jumped up at me. There are many verses in that section that I highlighted, but this one I meditated on a little more. Jesus is called the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). What does that really mean? In Matthew 10:34, Jesus tells us that He did not come to bring peace on earth, but a sword. What! Then there is this block of verses that can be taken way out of context: “For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his [own] household [when one believes and another does not].” (verses 35-36 AMP)

What is it about us that we are attracted to drama? The first place that our minds go to is that they just do not like me or they just do not want me. It stems from our root nature to judge the situation for ourselves. That is why we have to renew our minds daily. This is why we need to mediate on the Word daily. That is why the psalmist wrote, “those who love Your law have great peace.” The law here is the precepts or the first five books of the Bible that we have today. When the disciples led others to Christ, they did so by showing how Christ fulfilled the law (which means they knew it). When the thoughts of destruction or fear rise up that others are against us, we need to be grounded in the One who knows us.

John 14:27 (AMP) Peace I leave with you; My [perfect] peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid. [Let My perfect peace calm you in every circumstance and give you courage and strength for every challenge.]

How can I not allow my heart to be troubled? I need to be rooted and grounded in His love (Ephesians 3:16-19). The hardest part of entering peace is first accepting that you are loved. “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19 AMP). I read this yesterday and it really calmed the storm of what others perceive of me: “He does not love you with the hope that you will be like someone else,” Lisa Bevere. He does not love me hoping that I will become anything more than He has created me to be. I was created to be His daughter.

I am here to tell you that you may battle rejection. You may fight the urge to hide because you feel like you do not measure up. Our hiding place is in Him. We can walk boldly into that throne room of grace because of Jesus and His great love. When we do not walk in His love, we walk in fear. We will walk in the mindset that we are not accepted. We will focus on other things that will not line up with the purpose for our lives, that is to glorify Him. When we choose anything else we will stumble.

Philippians 4:8 (AMP) Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart].

His Word is good and that is why we should implant them in our hearts. Direct your mind back to the Word. I cannot get focused on anything other than His Word. Yes, there are demonic spirits out there that want to tear down every ounce of peace that we have. However, we do not fight against people. We should never put our mouths against people. People are not trying to indoctrinate us or our children, the enemy is. When we know the Word, when we spend time in relationship with Him, we will know His voice. All those other voices can speak, scream or yell, but they will not have access to my peace. Why? Because I am rooted and grounded in His love. It is not a passive love. It is an aggressive and passionate love. A love that I will pursue after.

Father, I thank you for sending your Son to be the Prince of Peace. Thank you for changing my mindset of what Your peace is. Peace is not the absence of trouble, it is knowing that we are grounded in love. You are my hiding place and my fortress of peace. I love your Word and it will not depart from my heart. Thank you for the ability to renew my mind. I choose to focus on You today. I choose to walk in love today. Show me opportunities to glorify You today. Lead me through the still waters. I choose to listen to Your voice today. I am loved because You are love. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Posted on

Leaving the Boat

Matthew 14:29-30 He said, “Come!” So Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus.  But when he saw [the effects of] the wind, he was frightened, and he began to sink, and he cried out, “Lord, save me!”

As a church, we are on day eight of 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting. I look forward to this time every year. I choose something to fast that I know will make me have to dig into His Word deeper.

2 Chronicles 7:14 (NIV) If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

To humble ourselves is to not think highly of ourselves. A strong, confident person can be humble. Look at David. He was not a coward and he did not back down. He was even accused of being conceited by his brother (1 Samuel 17:28). A humble person will want to see the best for others. I want my nation healed, because I want them restored to their original purpose.

Peter was the only disciple to get out of the boat. The conditions were not calm, and they were not perfect. Peter walked on the water in faith. It was when he looked at the wind that he began to sink. Peter was outspoken and quick to action. He still walked on the water.

I had a sinking moment not too long ago. In trying to get others out of the boat, I was called judgmental. It looked like only a few wanted to step out with me, and I am grateful for them. I started to look at the wind, at just the few. I started to look at their lack of commitment, their lack of energy and their lack of passion to reach their community. I wanted to quit. I was looking at all areas to escape having to stand up in front of people. I was going to hide and serve in the background. I was going to revert back to the boat. Questioning whether He really did say, “Come.” I was sinking.

In this 21 Days of Prayer of Fasting, by day 5, I received confirmation that I was called out of the boat. Not too long ago I wrote about “Stepping Out of Fear Into My Hiding Place.” My story is that I did all the behind the scene items at my church I served where ever they needed someone. Whenever they asked for somebody, I was that somebody. I asked God to settle the fear within me. I was overwhelmingly afraid of public speaking. So much so, that I would cry and get sick at the thought of it. My desire was not to hold a platform, it wanted to see the captives set free, just like I had been set free.

Rejection and not being what someone wanted almost made me get back in that boat. I fear the Lord in that I never want to cause someone else to stumble. I want them to grow closer to God. If me standing on that stage, exhorting them to get out of the boat, was going to cause them not to want to grow, then I was going to step off of it for good. I felt broken. This scripture and all the messages I had been listening to confirmed, that I was called to be out of that boat. I need to get my eyes off of people and keep my eyes on Jesus. He pulled me back out of the waters from drowning. I am not going back to that boat!

Praying that God speaks to you today and encourages you to keep looking at Him. When you start seeing the wind (distractions, disappointments, rejections, etc.) reach out your hand, He has you. Have an amazing week!

I was born with a mission to set captives free!!!

Water Walkers Series by Dr. Dharius Daniels

Hosanna Wong, Say Yes to Jesus

Posted on

Stepping out of fear into my hiding place

Psalms 34:4-5 AMP I sought the Lord [on the authority of His word], and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked to Him and were radiant; their faces will never blush in shame or confusion.

For the past month I have had the honor and privileged to bring the word on Sunday afternoons (our service is at 1:30) to our church. My husband works a full time job and has been on third shift almost two months now. They are suppose to rotate every four weeks. During third shift, it difficult for him to keep a good sleep pattern on the weekends. Especially when you have a service that takes place during the time you are usually sleeping. I had told him before that I would work on being better prepared to help more in the pulpit part when he is on that shift.

A back story on me…I am an extreme introvert (or well I was). It was so bad that I would not be able to go up to the counter of a fast food restaurant and ask for condiments. My senior project we had to give a presentation to everyone that we invited. I had invited my family. No classmates were present except for the two I needed to help model what I had made. I should have invited no one! I stammered and cried through the whole presentation. There is a recording of it somewhere, thanks to my grandparents! I could not even give a short announcement at church. I cried anytime the microphone was put in my face.

I remember the moment I had asked God to remove that fear from me. I remember sitting in the Gwinnett Center listening to Joyce Meyer minister. I remember telling God that I wanted to be able to talk about His Word and who He is to me. That was the first Sunday that I willingly took the microphone and shared what the ladies in our church had done that weekend.

It has been over ten years since that moment. I was not this phenom that spoke perfectly from that point on. I have had to grow in it. I am in still not one of those polished speakers that you will see on television or at a major conference. I am willing to grow more in it.

I was just in awe this morning of how God put a series inside of me. I have only done one service at a time, with months separating each time I taught. Not to say that anxiety did not try to rise up each and every time. I know that I could not do it on my own. My God was with me every step of the way. I was in His arms (in my hiding place) the entire time I was on the platform. Our crowds do not have to be large. Even if the altar call was just for one person, that is is worth celebrating. I was doing what I was created for.

Psalms 91:1-2 AMP He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will remain secure and rest in the shadow of the Almighty [whose power no enemy can withstand]. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust [with great confidence, and on whom I rely]!”

I do not know what God has put in your heart to step out and do differently. Let me encourage you that growth happens when you do. Stop chasing after things and people to make you happy. Know that when you are where He wants you to be, that is your most happy!

If you would like to to check out the series “Rebuild or Tear Down?” you can check it out on youtube here: Connect Church YouTube Channel

Be blessed!