Posted on

Update 2025: Here I Am

Isaiah 6:8 (AMP)  Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

One January eighth of this year I wrote a blog called “2025: Here I Am.” Here is what I wrote: “Here I am” is a heart position to be all in. It is a response to God that you are sensitive to His call. It is a willingness to listen and to obey His commands. “And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should also [unselfishly] love his brother and seek the best for him” (1 John 4:21). Seeking the best for others requires a lot of dying to self. That lines up with what Christ said we would have to do to be His disciples (Matthew 16:24-26). So that new thing He is doing in me, has a lot to do with my surrender. God doing a new thing requires me changing (Isaiah 43:19).

When I dedicated this year to answer the call with, “Here I Am,” I did not know where it would take me. Some would hope it would take them across the world. Some would expect a change of scenery. Some would expect a huge move. What it did in me caused me to make a holy shift to Your will not my will, Lord. I have answered calls that I did not want to. I have gone into homes that I did not want to. I have made trips to spend just a few moments with someone, that was way out of my route for the day. Why? “Here I Am.” How can we say we want to do great things for God when we will not give Him the fifteen minutes, or even a couple of hours, that will make us uncomfortable for someone else? He has given me a heart for people like never before. It is not to point out what is wrong in their life, it is to point them to the person who will make them whole. I am not there to fix their problems; I am pointing them to the One who can ground them in Truth.

This still rings true today: What should we be praying for the church? That God becomes real to us. That we stop going through the motions and desire a real relationship with God. You can listen and not hear. You can look and not see. This will happen until you surrender your ideas. We have the luxury of doing so much research that we have not need to sit and listen for His voice. We have access to so many books and teaching online, that we do not need to read the Bible for ourselves. We read the Bible through the lens of experience and not really listen for His voice. We depend on scripture taken out of context and wonder why God is not doing what I want. It is not until we surrender that we will be rooted and grounded in Christ. This is where love starts. We cannot love each other when we are only worried about ourselves. Serving only those we want to serve is really self-serving. Only reading what we like is self-serving.

“Here I Am” is a call for deeper surrender. I do not know why God has me doing this. I spend my week with people. People that I am not looking for anything in return. I asked God why, especially since church attendance was looking sad this past Sunday. It can be disheartening when we look at people. I have to keep my eyes focused on Him. It is not about what I see in the natural, it is about what He is doing when I am obedient. I put my trust in Him. At the right time (His time).

Galatians 6:9-10 (AMP) Let us not grow weary or become discouraged in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap, if we do not give in. So then, while we [as individual believers] have the opportunity, let us do good to all people [not only being helpful, but also doing that which promotes their spiritual well-being], and especially [be a blessing] to those of the household of faith (born-again believers).

Here I am, send me. I am choosing not to give it, not giving up.

Abba, Father, we are in awe of You. You are Holy, Marvelous, and Righteous. Help us to fully accept Your Son for who He is, the One who came to make us whole and whose peace fills us completely. When we love You and put You first, everything else finds its rightful place. When Your voice is our priority, all other voices fade away. When Your Word is first in our lives, distractions lose their hold. When we follow Your principles, the promises of Your Word become evident in our lives. Lead us back to putting You first. Let us say, “Here I am.” We repent for prioritizing ourselves over Your Word, Your voice, and Your guidance. Help us to open Your Word and crave it like the most satisfying meal. Thank You for Your forgiveness and Your mercies that are new every morning. We choose joy today. We choose hope today. We choose forgiveness today. We choose love today. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Posted on

Jogging Interruptus

Proverbs 16:9 (AMP) A man’s mind plans his way [as he journeys through life], but the Lord directs his steps and establishes them.

The year of 2025 I have dedicated to “Here I am,” listening for the God moments to change direction. This Monday, as I was at the gym, it was time for me to get on the track. For the past few weeks I have been able to jog some of the track. I am really excited about the progress I am making on my time. However, I was just not feeling too good. I was a little queasy and my head started hurting. Of which I thought was strange because I had not changed anything on my diet. I kept going on the track, but I walked.

As I am walking the track, I am listening to my worship mix and praying. Thanking Him for another day to glorify Him. Praying over my body to come back in line. Then I notice one of my older gentleman friends step out of his cycling class. He has his back against the wall and we smile at each other as I walk by. My next lap around and he is still standing there, we smile at each other and I walk by. The next lap another gentleman is talking to him, they are exchanging pleasantries, but I notice a change in his complexion, we smile and I walk by. I am done with my workout, but I am going to walk by just one more time. He is still standing there and his color is completely gone. I go up to him, touch his arm and said, “How about we go sit down? The color is gone from your face, so let’s go get you cooled off.” So there I am walking him to the bench, my hand inside his arm (as if he is leading, but my body in place to catch him if he falls back). To give you a picture of our contrast difference in stature, my friend has clearly got a foot on me and he is at the gym daily. He is older by a few decades, but is the sweetest man. However, I am ready to shield his head with my body if need be.

We make it to the bench and I go grab him a cold towel to put around the back of his neck. I stand with him and exchange small talk until I see the color come back to his cheeks. He can stand again and is much better. I make sure to linger talking to other patrons and talking pleasantries about their going on’s, while keeping an eye on my buddy. He is able to leave and I head out the door as well. All of my previous symptoms of head ache and nausea are gone and I praise God for slowing me down to notice. Then I remember the time Paul was kept back from doing good for better.

Acts 16:6-10 (AMP) Now they passed through the territory of Phrygia and Galatia, after being forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in [the west coast province of] Asia [Minor]; and after they came to Mysia, they tried to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not permit them; so passing by Mysia, they went down to Troas. Then a vision appeared to Paul in the night: a man from [the Roman province of] Macedonia was standing and pleading with him, saying, “Come over to Macedonia and help us!” And when he had seen the vision, we (including Luke) tried to go on into Macedonia at once, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them.

What I love about this example is that Paul was in the process of moving when the Holy Spirit stopped him. All too often we tell God we are waiting on Him when we have stayed still. Paul went in another direction and yet the Holy Spirit stopped him again. In the movement Paul’s heart was still inclined to the voice. It is in our try that we can hear the voice of God, if we have ears to hear.

What if I had paid too much attention to my symptoms and decided to head back home? Before I leave the house every day I pray for God to give me an opportunity to glorify and honor Him that day. Looking for opportunities means I have to step outside of myself.

1 John 3:16 (AMP) By this we know [and have come to understand the depth and essence of His precious] love: that He [willingly] laid down His life for us [because He loved us]. And we ought to lay down our lives for the believers.

Eli and I were reading our daily devotion before he goes to school and this was today’s verse: “An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends,” taken from Proverbs 18:1 in the New International Version. An unfriendly person isolates theirself was the message of today’s devotion. That is not the message of Christ. If I only serve in church and my family then I have missed the message of Christ (this is for me because my kids are grown). I am still only pursuing what matters to self. I have limited God with my availability. I praise God for the interruptions. There was no other reward that I received other than that man felt cared for by someone that did not have to. Do you know what I go the next day when I saw him? A great big hug and thank you.

In the midst of my self care I was still available. I was the vessel to tell him that he was seen and that he mattered. God says that about each one of us. It is in the moments like Monday that it became tangible. Are we paying attention? I am glad I did not jog that day, I may have missed seeing what was most important.

Isaiah 6:8 (AMP) Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

Father, thank you that we have eyes to see and ears to hear. You tell us the direction to go, we only need to be willing to move. Thank you for the interruptions to our plans for the better. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Posted on

2025: Here I Am

Genesis 22:1 (AMP) Now after these things, God tested [the faith and commitment of] Abraham and said to him, “Abraham!” And he answered, “Here I am.”

We are eight days into the new year. A lot of times we like to hold onto scriptures about the new. For instance this one, Isaiah 43:19 (AMP) “Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even put a road in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.“I love this scripture and even have it on our vision board for the church. However, we can get so caught up in expecting the promise that we forget about the God of the promise. We hold onto the promise. God in Genesis 22 was asking Abraham to let go of the promise. Would He serve God more than hold onto the promise? Ultimately, God did not ask Abraham to sacrifice what he was willing.

God, here I am. My arms are wide open. I am in the process of reading the Bible from beginning to end and have started with Genesis 1 on January 1. I read five chapters a day and this week I have seen “Here I Am” as the words of readiness. Jacob was visited by God in visions and with both responses he said, “Here I am” (Genesis 31:11, 46:2). Both times God instructed Jacob to move. Move from a land he had spent decades in. When he moved it was not like we have it today. He was moving people, possessions and live stock. It was caravans moving, not a moving van.

Isaiah 6:8-10 (AMP) Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!” And He said, “Go, and tell this people: ‘Keep on listening, but do not understand; Keep on looking, but do not comprehend.’ “Make the heart of this people insensitive, their ears dull, and their eyes dim, otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and return and be healed.”

I was asked this question this week, what should we be praying for the church? That God becomes real to us. That we stop going through the motions and desire a real relationship with God. You can listen and not hear. You can look and not see. This will happen until you surrender your ideas. We have the luxury of doing so much research that we have not need to sit and listen for His voice. We have access to so many books and teaching online, that we do not need to read the Bible for ourselves. We read the Bible through the lens of experience and not really listen for His voice. We depend on scripture taken out of context and wonder why God is not doing what I want. It is not until we surrender that we will be rooted and grounded in Christ. This is where love starts. We cannot love each other when we are only worried about ourselves. Serving only those we want to serve is really self-serving. Only reading what we like is self-serving.

“Here I am” is a heart position to be all in. It is a response to God that you are sensitive to His call. It is a willingness to listen and to obey His commands. “And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should also [unselfishly] love his brother and seek the best for him” (1 John 4:21). Seeking the best for others requires a lot of dying to self. That lines up with what Christ said we would have to do to be His disciples (Matthew 16:24-26).

So that new thing He is doing in me, has a lot to do with my surrender. God doing a new thing requires me changing. My husband works for a large car manufacturer. Every year they shut down at Christmas, and the processes change for the new car that will be made for the following year. Before the shut down occurred a training was done for the processes coming up. People got to leave their normal work stations and attend a class to learn what would be expected of them when they returned. Some paid attention, and some did not want to learn the new way (they figured they could use the old skills for this new build). That is not working too well for them. Just because you are in it a long time does not mean you will not face the consequences of not learning the new.

Mark 2:22 (AMP) No one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the [fermenting] wine will [expand and] burst the skins, and the wine is lost as well as the wineskins. But new wine must be put into new wineskins.”

Galatians 5:25 (AMP) If we [claim to] live by the [Holy] Spirit, we must also walk by the Spirit [with personal integrity, godly character, and moral courage—our conduct empowered by the Holy Spirit].

Who is in control? It cannot be some of God and some of me. It has to be all of Him. That means I have to let go of the way I think it should go. That means I have to surrender even when I do not “feel” ready. That means I have to run when He says to run. That means I have to climb that hill even though I do not feel like it. To get in shape you have to submit to a good eating and fitness regiment. If you plan it, you get to take the breaks whenever you want. If you have someone else that you are accountable to, those breaks are not a part of the plan, and you have to submit to get the results. The “I will get there eventually” mentality has created slothfulness in the body of Christ. We have not taken the Word as real. We miss meals on the Word, but would not miss meals when it comes to our stomachs. Mark Batterson wrote, “If you are not hungry for God, you are full of yourself.” That is a heart check statement right there. Am I more hungry for God than the food on my plate? Can you put everything else aside and say “God, here I am.”

Abba, Father, we stand in awe of You. You are Holy. You are Marvelous. You are Righteous. Let this year be about getting our First Love back. Let us accept Your Son for all of who He is. That He came to make us Whole. That His Peace makes us Full. When we fall in love with You and we truly put You first, we will see everything else in it’s rightful place. When Your voice is first, all the other voices will fall away. When Your Word is first place in our lives, then all other distractions will disappear. When Your principles come first, then the promises of Your Word find their way into our lives. Let us get back to You first. Let us say “Here I am.” We repent for putting ourselves before Your Word, before Your voice, before Your leading. Let us open up Your Word and hunger for it like it is the best meal we have ever eaten. Thank You for Your forgiveness and that your Mercy is new every morning. We choose joy today. We choose hope today. We choose forgiveness today. We choose love today. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Gracefully Broken