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Personal Seed

Mark 4:30-32 (AMP) And He said, “How shall we picture the kingdom of God, or what parable shall we use to illustrate and explain it? It is like a mustard seed, which, when it is sown on the ground, even though it is smaller than all the [other] seeds that are [sown] on the soil, yet when it is sown, it grows up and becomes larger than all the garden herbs; and it puts out large branches, so that the birds of the sky are able to make nests and live under its shade.”

It all starts with a seed. I have been in ministry just about my whole marriage, twenty-five years. I have had to grow into it. I was not raised in ministry, nor the church. For many years I went through the motions of what I had witnessed. It was not until I decided to really dig into the Word for myself that my kind of mustard seed really took root. That is when real change happened in my life.

Looking at all of the parables of the Sower in Mark, there are three that really talks about the seed in chapter 4. We can read them in order of how they are written with the Parable of the Sower and Soil, the Parable of the Seed, and the Parable of the Mustard Seed. I did just that, however, when I got to the Parable of the Mustard Seed (verses 30-32), it made me go back and look at the other two again.

For many years I was like the person in the Parable of the Seed, “Then He said, “The kingdom of God is like a man who throws seed on the ground; and he goes to bed at night and gets up every day, and [in the meantime] the seed sprouts and grows; how [it does this], he does not know (verses 26-27).” The Seed (the Word) is always good, and it will produce something. That is what is like when you know some of the Word. I went to seminary when I first got saved, like immediately after. I attended church every time the doors were open. I poured into my study Bible. There was a seed that was being planted into ground, and it was producing a change in me. Then it became stagnant. I never went off to do on my own, but I did not grow very deep. There was still a lot of Amanda living.

The Parable of the Mustard Seed tells us the seed is LIKE a mustard seed, meaning as a metaphor as something small. I take it as a revelation of the Word that is personal to you. Often, we get so overwhelmed with the things of the Kingdom that we stay in the position of the Parable of the Seed. There are seeds in the ground (we are the ground) and it is producing but we do not quite know why or what. When I grabbed a hold of me being rooted and grounded in the love of Christ, that was my mustard seed. Some it could be about faith in Christ, some it could be right standing in Christ, others it could be adoption through Christ. We all need a seed like a mustard seed. That is when real growth begins.

Now that we have a mustard seed, look back at the Parable of the Sower and the Soil (verses 3-20). How much you hold dear to the that seed, will determine the soil. Can the seed grow roots? When I grabbed a hold of the seed of Ephesians 3:16-20, and it came alive in me, the roots began to really form. Transformation happened like never before and still is. There are many that say that they read their Bibles and they do not get anything. Have you invited the Holy Spirit to join you? He is our Teacher.

Mark 4: 24-25 (AMP) Then He said to them, “Pay attention to what you hear. By your own standard of measurement [that is, to the extent that you study spiritual truth and apply godly wisdom] it will be measured to you [and you will be given even greater ability to respond]—and more will be given to you besides. For whoever has [a teachable heart], to him more [understanding] will be given; and whoever does not have [a yearning for truth], even what he has will be taken away from him.”

Our hearts are the soil. Our minds are the gateway to our soul. Our mind, will, and emotions have to be surrendered to the Word of God for any seed to take root. That seed was not planted seven years ago when I got the revelation of being deeply rooted in the love of Christ. It was planted twenty-seven years ago, when I received Jesus as my Savior. I remember the moment. I remember how the Holy Spirit spoke to me. I remember that He told me the love that I desired I could not get from my fiancé (now husband), it was only through Christ. I desired to be deeply loved, and that is where it began. There was so much that tried to take away that seed, but the seed is always good. I may have put it away from my mind for a while, but I never let it go. Then in my darkest moment, I could allow pride to reign or I could surrender. I chose to surrender, and it has been the greatest decision I ever made. Has it been easy? No, but it has been worth it.

We all receive a seed. What is yours? Do you hold it precious to you? Our salvation through Christ is the greatest gift we could ever receive. He is inviting us to go deeper, to take root. The mustard seed grows into one of the largest trees in the field. It becomes so big that birds can nest in it, a place of peace. I want to show others what it is like. I want to encourage you to feed your seed and let it take root. Let it open up Christ in your life that you never could imagine for yourself. I have taken Ephesians 3:16-21 and formed it into a prayer for you and myself.

Our Father, Holy is Your Name. Thank You for Your Son. May He grant us out of the riches of His glory, to be strengthened and spiritually energized with power through His Spirit in our inner selves, [indwelling your innermost being and personality], so that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith. And may we, having been [deeply] rooted and [securely] grounded in love, be fully capable of comprehending with all the saints (God’s people) the width and length and height and depth of His love [fully experiencing that amazing, endless love]; and [that we may come] to know [practically, through personal experience] the love of Christ which far surpasses [mere] knowledge [without experience], that we may be filled up [throughout your being] to all the fullness of God [so that we may have the richest experience of God’s presence in your lives, completely filled and flooded with God Himself]. Now to Him who is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly more than all that we dare ask or think [infinitely beyond our greatest prayers, hopes, or dreams], according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen.

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I am hungry!

Matthew 5:6 (AMP) Blessed [joyful, nourished by God’s goodness] are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness [those who actively seek right standing with God], for they will be [completely] satisfied.

What is it that we hunger and thirst for? That is what I was praying about the other day. I was praying that we hunger and thirst for the right things. What we hunger and thirst for we begin to crave. My husband and I are foodies. We like finding new restaurants for the most unique dishes to try. I like cooking different types of cuisines and will often make my own twists on dishes. This year I had asked God to take away all my cravings and only crave Him. I looked up ‘what is the biblical definition of righteousness’ through Google and this was I found from Christianity.com:

In Its deeper spiritual meaning, righteousness is the quality of being right in the eyes of God, including character (nature), conscience (attitude), conduct (action), and command (word). Righteousness is, therefore, based upon God’s standard because He is the ultimate Lawgiver (Isaiah 33:22).

http://www.christianity.com

I have often heard the term that ‘I am now in right standing with God’ and that ‘through Christ I have been made righteous’, but those words out of context can tell us that we can live our lives any way we want to. There is still a standard. Since it was Jesus who spoke the words about hungering and thirsting after righteousness I searched for other times to hunger and thirst.

John 6:35 (AMP) Jesus replied to them, “I am the Bread of Life. The one who comes to Me will never be hungry, and the one who believes in Me [as Savior] will never be thirsty [for that one will be sustained spiritually].”

There was a time in the desert that the devil tempted Jesus to satisfy His hunger by turning a stone into bread (Matthew 4:3). Jesus quoted from Deuteronomy “man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of the Lord.” What was this bread they were referring to. Putting that quote into context, Deuteronomy 8:3 says, “He humbled you and allowed you to be hungry and fed you with manna, [a substance] which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, so that He might make you understand [by personal experience] that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of the Lord.” Manna was a substance that man could not make on their own. There is no recipe for it. If I wanted to show you what manna tasted like I could not recreate it. The ingredients do not exist here. God was showing us that our dependence on His Word would satisfy us.

John 1:1 (AMP) In the beginning [before all time] was the Word (Christ), and the Word was with God, and the Word was God Himself.

Jesus said that He was the Bread of Life (the Word at the beginning), when we come to Him we will never be hungry again. The Word and Christ are one, just as the Father and Son are one. How can we wrap our understanding around such? Let me ask you a question, how can God feed a whole nation with something that man could never make for themselves? Faith. Faith in His Word (Christ).

Joshua 1:8 (AMP) This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall read [and meditate on] it day and night, so that you may be careful to do [everything] in accordance with all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will be successful.

Now that I have hit on hunger, let us dive into some scripture about thirst. Jesus told the woman at the well that she would never thirst again from the water that He would give her (John 4:10).

Psalms 1:1-3 (AMP) Blessed [fortunate, prosperous, and favored by God] is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked [following their advice and example], nor stand in the path of sinners,
Nor sit [down to rest] in the seat of scoffers (ridiculers). But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law [His precepts and teachings] he [habitually] meditates day and night. And he will be like a tree firmly planted [and fed] by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season; its leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does, he prospers [and comes to maturity].

One of my favorite verses to cling onto is that I am rooted and grounded in the Love of Christ (Ephesians 3:17). I cannot be rooted and grounded into someone that I have no relationship with. If Christ is the Word, then I need to have a relationship with the Word. This is what I have begun to hunger and thirst after. My roots are searching for nourishment. Everything that I need is found in His Word. My right standing, my righteousness, is found in Him. What happens when I try doing something else. God said that it was to bring the people of Israel to humility that He had them to hunger. Do you think He would allow us to thirtst?

Jeremiah 2:13 (AMP) For My people have committed two evils: they have abandoned (rejected) Me, the fountain of living water, and they have carved out their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.

Due to long times of drought, cisterns were dug to hold water. When a cistern was broken the water became contaminated. It is when we place our trust in anything other than God, that our cisterns are broken. It is when we say the Word does not work. It is when we say Christ might have done that for you, but He did not do that for me. When we do not trust in God and try to make out own way. He is the fountain of Living Water. He is the Bread of Life.

As Lysa TerKeurst writes in her books Made to Crave, we were made to crave after God. How? In the beginning was the Word. Christ being the Bread of Life (the Word made flesh). He being the fountain of Living Waters. I was made to crave after the righteousness of God. I am to hunger and thirst after Him. I am to be rooted and grounded in Him. There is a standard. My right standing cannot be defined by man, it must be Word defined. My righteousness in Christ is not the same as my self-righteousness. Today choose to hunger and thirst after righteousness (the God way).

Abba, Father, Lord and Creator, we honor Your Holy name today. We want to honor You in everything we say and do. Thank You for Your Son, the Word made flesh, the Fountain of Life and the Bread of Life. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit, that empowers us to seek after You. We repent for the times we have tried to fill our hunger and thirst with anything that does not line up with Your Word. You tell us to be Holy as You are Holy. You tell us to seek after righteousness, that is Your way of doing things. We are aligning our thoughts with the Word today. We are thankful that we are rooted and grounded in Your Love. We choose to forgive those that we may have blamed for being a root of our depression, our anxiety or even our rejection. We know that we do not have to take root in anything other than You. We are allowing the Holy Spirit to dig up areas that do not reflect Your nourishment. We choose love today. We choose joy today. We choose forgiveness today. We choose hope today. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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The Best

Genesis 12:2 (AMP) And I will make you a great nation, and I will bless you [abundantly], and make your name great (exalted, distinguished); and you shall be a blessing [a source of great good to others]

Have you ever prayed this prayer? Some may ask, what reason do we pray this? Galatians 3:29 says, “And if you belong to Christ [if you are in Him], then you are Abraham’s descendants, and [spiritual] heirs according to [God’s] promise.” This is why you will hear the affirmations of the promises to Abraham. There are more, but I wanted to point this one part out, it was for a purpose of being a source of blessing to others. If I have this prayer and I am not others focused, as to why I desire greatness in my life, then I have become self centered. God never intended us to point to self. So whose kingdom have I been building?

John 15:13 (AMP) No one has greater love [nor stronger commitment] than to lay down his own life for his friends.

How about this one? 1 Peter 2:9 says we are a royal priesthood and a special people for God’s own possession. I love this affirmation, but it also has a purpose. Read the full verse: But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a consecrated nation, a [special] people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies [the wonderful deeds and virtues and perfections] of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. Let us speak to fear for a moment. Being a blessing to others and proclaiming His love to others is an outflow of love, the opposite of fear (1 John 4:18). What? Am I saying that if I do not proclaim the Gospel, that I do not love? My question to you is why do you not want to proclaim the Gospel? Why are you trying to find excuses not to?

2 Corinthians 5:17-18 (AMP) Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life]. But all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ [making us acceptable to Him] and gave us the ministry of reconciliation [so that by our example we might bring others to Him]

Matthew 22:35-39 (AMP) One of them, a lawyer [an expert in Mosaic Law], asked Jesus a question, to test Him: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” And Jesus replied to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for others].’

While in prayer yesterday I was focused on “The Best.” God, I just want us to be a church that sought the best to glorify you, to see the best in others, to desire the best for each other. Then my prayer went into “if I have been the focus, that is not the best. I desire to see others grow stronger in their relationship with You. If I am hindering that do a work within so that I am not the focus, whatever that my look like.” We can be prideful in our prayers, it is easy to do. It can be all about self whether we fill it with affirmations through His Word, or we become so self deprecating that do not see the value in ourselves.

I want to come back to love. When I realize my position in the love of Christ, I can start to behave that way. It will change my perspective from self, to others. Whose Kingdom am I building? I often ask that of myself. Another way is, whose Glory am I seeking? When I lead in love, I am doing it best. We should always bring the best offering when we gather in His place of worship. He gave His best when He sent His only Son. What is holding you back from seeking the best for others? Why would you not want the best, Jesus, to be revealed to others? The best is the ministry of reconciliation. He made you the best (a new creation) to bless with the best! Love others like yourself, unselfishly seek the best for others. So share His goodness and His Gospel!!

Jehovah Nissi (the Lord is my banner), You are Holy and to be admired. You set the standard of Love. You are the definition of Love. Thank You for the Love You gave with Your Only Son. Jesus is the best Love we could ever receive. Thank You for the Love gift of the Holy Spirit. We can walk in the fullness of Your Love through the revealed knowledge of Your Love. Forgive us for seeking only for ourselves. Your Love was meant to be shared. Forgive us for wanting everything and not looking out to see how our seeking has affected others from seeking as well. In our selfishness we forget our calling to the ministry of reconciliation. Forgive us for making excuses. Forgive us for not obeying. We repent for making it all about us. We desire Your Kingdom. We desire Your will be done. Thank You for seeing the best in us, even when we do not deserve it. You have called us to be a great people, so we will share of Your goodness. Give us opportunities to bless and glorify Your Name. We choose forgiveness today. We choose hope today. We choose love today. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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We have a purpose

Ephesians 4:15-16 (AMP) But speaking the truth in love [in all things—both our speech and our lives expressing His truth], let us grow up in all things into Him [following His example] who is the Head—Christ. From Him the whole body [the church, in all its various parts], joined and knitted firmly together by what every joint supplies, when each part is working properly, causes the body to grow and mature, building itself up in [unselfish] love.

This Sunday I had the privilege of delivering the message to our church. My husband was (and still is) recovering from turbinate reduction from the previous week, and was not quite ready to be a part of the world again. One of the biggest challenges is having to open and close the service. We have an amazing team at Connect Church, and they stood up and took roles that really made for a great day.

My husband and I have been in a series for the past six months called, My Calling. Why? We have become a culture of people that wants to know what our calling is and what our purpose is. The answer they receive, to keep them or draw them, is that it is self focused. Our answer has been counter culture but Kingdom culture. We all have the same calling and that is the ministry of reconciliation. Even though I am called to be a pastor, my initial calling and everything I do within that scope must be to fulfill my main calling of the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18). We all have the same purpose and that is to grow in Christ. We all have different gifts and my gifting to teach and administrate is to be directed to the purpose of growing in Christ. Therefore, putting them together my ministry of reconciliation will also bring others to their purpose of growing in Christ. I am no longer developing my gifts, I am developing my purpose.

Ephesians 4:21-24 (AMP) If in fact you have [really] heard Him and have been taught by Him, just as truth is in Jesus [revealed in His life and personified in Him], that, regarding your previous way of life, you put off your old self [completely discard your former nature], which is being corrupted through deceitful desires and be continually renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh, untarnished mental and spiritual attitude], and put on the new self [the regenerated and renewed nature], created in God’s image, [godlike] in the righteousness and holiness of the truth [living in a way that expresses to God your gratitude for your salvation].

We have been made new creations in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17), but that does not mean that our old nature does not try to live. Before we knew Christ, we lived independently of God. That is the old nature and thought patterns we having to constantly put off. The deceitful desires are not just something a new baby in Christ has to be aware of. It is for all maturity levels. That is why Paul tells us to be “continually renewed in the spirit of the mind.” What do we constantly have to renew about in our mind? Who we are in Christ…I am rooted and grounded in Christ, I have the mind of Christ, I live according to Christ, and I am free because of Christ. When I lived independently of God I thought about self first, now that I am not independent and called into the ministry of reconciliation, I think about ways to promote others to Christ. My desires are fulfilled when I seek the Kingdom of God first, because my desire is to see others united with Him. He gives me the desires of my heart because I am walking in Kingdom Purpose, to know and grow in Christ.

How are some ways I can renew my mind to put on the new nature everyday? Know that you are now a child of God (Romans 8:16). You do not have to try to become a child of God when you are one in Christ. You are now grounded in the truth of your salvation (John 8:32). You are now a Kingdom citizen. Christ paid the price for your emotional freedom, you no longer have to be a slave to your feelings (Galatians 5:1). You have been accepted and forgiven (Romans 5:8). Christ paid the price for you even when you were still a sinner. Your position of submission is a choice (Romans 13:1-5). Just like believing and renewing your mind regarding everything that you are a part of, submission is a choice. We have to renew our mind for submission. It is essential to our growth and maturity in Christ, but in the culture we live in today, it is one of the hardest for the believer to do. There is freedom when you do. Let me be a witness to that. I no longer live, but Christ in me, is what Paul constantly tells us. When we refuse to submit, we are choosing that independent old nature, we are still living for ourselves. I am rooted and grounded in Christ, He can have every part of me.

What is my purpose? To Grow in Christ. What is my ministry? The ministry of reconciliation. When I focus on these two things I am living now free in Christ. I cannot help but want to share that freedom with others. It is really quite simple and not self focused anymore. I am now Kingdom focused!

Father, You are so wonderful. Thank You for being our creator. You created us in love and desire us. Thank You for sending Your Son as a expression of that love. Thank You for sending us the Holy Spirit to be our Teacher of love. We repent for the times we still lived for us, independently of You. We are choosing to renew our minds in Christ and putting on the fullness of what He came to restore us to. Thank You for Your patience and mercy as we grow in that fullness. We invite You into every part of ourselves. We are now secure in You and have no fear of letting go to submit to Your authority, even when it comes through the avenue of mankind. Let us not look at each other the same way, but through Your perfect lens. We are thankful for the ministry You have entrusted us, the ministry of reconciliation. We choose forgiveness today. We choose hope today. We choose love today. We choose growth today. We choose freedom today. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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Celebrate Christmas Year Round

2 Corinthians 5:17 (AMP) Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life].

I pray you had a wonderful time celebrating Christmas with your families. My family and I are away from home, enjoying each other, in the mountains of Tennessee. We take this time to just be us. We go on adventures, eat out at new places and spend time in a new environment to check on our growth status as a family.

I think we should do that regularly as believers as well. We get so comfortable in our routines. I use to read the above scripture and think that it only applied to the moment I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. That is just part of it. Freedom comes when you realize that spiritual awakening brings new life. My spirit man became alive, yes, however I did not know it’s fullness until I started applying the next verse.

2 Corinthians 5:18-20 (AMP) But all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ [making us acceptable to Him] and gave us the ministry of reconciliation [so that by our example we might bring others to Him], that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting people’s sins against them [but canceling them]. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation [that is, restoration to favor with God]. So we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making His appeal through us; we [as Christ’s representatives] plead with you on behalf of Christ to be reconciled to God. 

I am a minister of reconciliation, and if you are in Christ, so are you. As I surrender and pursue after a relationship with the Father, His spirit will begin to speak to my spirit and reveal things in His Word that will cause me to grow and get stronger spiritually. There is no magic formula. I cannot wait to feel it in my emotions. This is a decision I have to make. I have to determine to want the new.

Read your Word not to get your streaks, and not to get your goal to read in a certain amount of time. Read your Word with a surrendered heart. “God what are you saying to me today?” I cannot allow my emotions to lead my life or run my life. It is not about the feeling, it about the character and nature as revealed through His Word.

How can we celebrate Christmas year round? How do I determine if this new life is a part of me continually? Be determined each day to grow in God. How? 1) Through relational development. I must be committed to spending time with God. 2) Through personal surrender. I must be willing to say no to things in my life that pulls me away from the development and relationship with Him. 3) Make myself available to serve. If you have number one and number two and you do not have an outlet in the kingdom, then you really are not growing in anything. If you have number three with out numbers one and two, you are doing it for self promotion and not kingdom building. It is in the moments that you serve that the things that you have learned will be tested and proven. Being available to serve is proving ground in what you said you learned. I would also like to suggest that being available to serve will reveal your calling…the calling to the ministry of reconciliation.

Father, I thank you for the gift of love that you show and give. Let me be an example of that love by answering the call into the ministry of reconciliation. Through your Son I have been made a new creation. The person I was yesterday, is different from who I am today. I choose to grow in your Word and in your ways by developing a closer relationship with you. I choose to serve as I grow. I choose to surrender as I grow. Your life is better than my old life. You are where I find my fullness. Let me be an example of that to others. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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My ‘why’ behind my response

Romans 8:1 (AMP) Therefore there is now no condemnation [no guilty verdict, no punishment] for those who are in Christ Jesus [who believe in Him as personal Lord and Savior].

This verse is often misquoted. Did Paul say this in retaliation or relief? Was it in defense or comfort? When do you use this verse? Is it in an argument? Are you being defensive? Is it because you have become offended by correction by those in leadership over you?

I can become defensive and I have to remind myself of this verse,”Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” 2 Corinthians 10:5 (KJV). Why? I will often come up with scenarios as why someone jumped to that conclusion about me. It is a defense mechanism I came up with when I was a child. I was the oldest and was given a lot of responsibility at an early age. I felt pressure to be perfect. If I was not perfect, if I had messed up, then I was shamed for it. I became isolated. I felt very alone as a result of the silent treatment I was given because I did not meet expectations. I have really worked hard on not having defense come up when a question comes up on why I make certain decision or what I am doing. I still have not become perfect in my response, but that’s okay. Charles Spurgeon once said, “I have a great need for Christ. I have a great Christ for my need.” So I apologize and move ahead.

Have you ever thought that this main verse may be the continuation of a thought? This is not the beginning of the thought process, it is his conclusion. Read it in context for the fullness. “Therefore” should not be where we plant our flag if we have not taken the time to find out how Paul got here.

Romans‬ ‭7:14-25‬ ‭(AMP)‬‬ “We know that the Law is spiritual, but I am a creature of the flesh [worldly, self-reliant—carnal and unspiritual], sold into slavery to sin [and serving under its control]. For I do not understand my own actions [I am baffled and bewildered by them]. I do not practice what I want to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate [and yielding to my human nature, my worldliness—my sinful capacity]. Now if I habitually do what I do not want to do, [that means] I agree with the Law, confessing that it is good (morally excellent). So now [if that is the case, then] it is no longer I who do it [the disobedient thing which I despise], but the sin [nature] which lives in me. For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh [my human nature, my worldliness—my sinful capacity]. For the willingness [to do good] is present in me, but the doing of good is not. For the good that I want to do, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want to do, I am no longer the one doing it [that is, it is not me that acts], but the sin [nature] which lives in me. So I find it to be the law [of my inner self], that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully delight in the law of God in my inner self [with my new nature], but I see a different law and rule of action in the members of my body [in its appetites and desires], waging war against the law of my mind and subduing me and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is within my members. Wretched and miserable man that I am! Who will [rescue me and] set me free from this body of death [this corrupt, mortal existence]? Thanks be to God [for my deliverance] through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind serve the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh [my human nature, my worldliness, my sinful capacity—I serve] the law of sin.” ‭‭

If you believe that wrestling is condemnation, you are mistaken. Wrestling with your flesh should not bring you to condemnation, it should bring you closer to Christ. Your conclusion should not be condemnation, it should be Jesus. That is exactly what Paul is saying here. Paul was battling with himself that he knew to do write but his flesh did not want to. Have you ever gotten the “just don’t want to’s.” Paul recognized that he fought that. What did he turn to? Condemnation will in turn bring us to the door way of depression with thoughts of “I’m not good enough,” or “I will never be able to do that.”

When my Eli was in little league, at about the age of 10, he played a game that his batting was really bad. He is a wonderful ball player, but some days they have a bad day. He hung his head in shame. He talked about how bad of a player he was and how he let the team down. I had to remind him of the great play he made in the outfield and that he brought more to the team than his batting average. Some days you cannot get into the momentum of hitting. That is okay. He cannot give up. He needs to go back to practice and try again. He kept at it and is now playing in high school.

You see condemnation comes from the enemy. It is the voice of shame urging us to believe that our heavenly Father is shaking His head at us in disappointment and disgust, His arms crossed and His heart closed. If you notice that I said enemy and not people (Ephesians 6:12). Choose how you receive the words of people or you start to believe they are against you and they are your enemy, when they are really trying to help you and love you. Condemnation is often a result of my refusal to own up to my faults and refuse to change to His reflection. Conviction comes from the Holy Spirit. It is the voice of grace beckoning us to run to Jesus, repent, receive mercy, and run the race before us in His transforming power and grace. Do you believe your leaders pray for you and hear God? Often times they are telling you something that the Holy Spirit has already been dealing with you.

Read the full story. Look at your ‘why on how you respond to correction. The end result should not be isolation and shutting people out because you believe they are condemning you. Remember you do not fight against flesh and blood. We are called to a body and if there is someone rubbing the ruff edges off of you, thank Jesus that they are. You are growing. Allow the Holy Spirit to do the work in and through you. Come out of shame and into His marvelous light. Own up to your faults and grow. I am not where I want to me, but I am not where I use to be.

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I want to glow up!

Luke 11:33-36 (AMP) “No one lights a lamp and then puts it in a cellar nor under a basket [hiding the light], but [instead it is put] on the lampstand, so that those who come in may see the light. The eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is clear [spiritually perceptive, focused on God], your whole body also is full of light [benefiting from God’s precepts]. But when it is bad [spiritually blind], your body also is full of darkness [devoid of God’s word]. Be careful, therefore, that the light that is in you is not darkness. So if your whole body is illuminated, with no dark part, it will be entirely bright [with light], as when the lamp gives you light with its bright rays.”

One of my favorite people in the Bible to read about is Moses. I especially liked how he enjoyed being in the presence of God. Reading Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy you can see that he not only spent time with God for wisdom, but he genuinely enjoyed the companionship. Moses spent so much time with Him that the glory of the Lord transferred to an outward glow shining from Moses’ face. My heart’s desire is to carry that same glory with me where ever I go. That is why I loved reading the above verses yesterday.

The eye is a lamp to our bodies. Often times people will use this verse to condemn others for what they watch for entertainment, but they did not have movies or television sitcoms back then. They did have people. They did have relationships. They did have lives to maintain. Sometimes our eyes will even deceive us when we do not see the progress during the process of growth. I like how the Amplified tells us “when I our eye is clear”, that is “spiritually perceptive” and “focused on God”. It is when we take our focus off of God that we become spiritually blind and our bodies full of darkness, it even says we are “devoid of God’s word”.

How can my whole being radiate the light of glory of God? 2 Corinthians 3:18 (AMP), “ And we all, with unveiled face, continually seeing as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are progressively being transformed into His image from [one degree of] glory to [even more] glory, which comes from the Lord, [who is] the Spirit.” What will it take for us to have a fervent spirit? He is the one who sets me on fire! When I spend time, like Moses did, to see His face. It all has to do with our focus. When can read our Bibles and still not be focused.

Focus eliminates distractions. We will never be able to fulfill our eternal purpose if we allow temporary circumstances to distract our focus. Remain focused on the Kingdom. Do not allow weariness to become a false prophet in your life. Weariness will try to get you to accept that is okay to give up. You cannot rest from God, because He is rest.

Why do you think Joshua said in Joshua 24:15 (AMP), “If it is unacceptable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve”? Sight, your eye being a lamp to your body. You have to choose this focus, your natural self is not going to want to do it.

Hebrews 12:2 (AMP) Looking away from all that will distract us and] focusing our eyes on Jesus, who is the Author and Perfecter of faith [the first incentive for our belief and the One who brings our faith to maturity], who for the joy [of accomplishing the goal] set before Him endured the cross, disregarding the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God [revealing His deity, His authority, and the completion of His work].

What has been the desire of your heart? This is why I call this blog “Desiring for More.” Just like Moses, I desire a face to face relationship with God. When we draw our eyes on Him then our whole bodies cannot help but illuminate with His light! Let’s have a glow up party!!

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Joints should not hurt

Hebrews 12:2 (MSG) Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. 

I have to admit I have been a little distracted lately. Have you ever felt that way? It is an attack on the revelation knowledge of the Word of God in my life. I do know that when you get to a new level of revelation that you will be tested in it. I was reading about the unmerited favor of God in our lives as partners with Christ (which so happens to go along with my husbands messages about the assurance of what our inheritance is). Basically, both are coming in line with each other and that is where the challenge happens. The challenge is that I like growth and want to pull those I love along side with me. As a pastor we desire to see growth in others, it is disheartening when people dig their heels in and refuses to budge. My challenge (to be honestly transparent) is to try not to focus there, but continue to allow the work to happen within me and the Holy Spirit to work on them.

Have you ever had that happen? Your thoughts rob you of your joy? You have conversations in your head with someone else? Or you think of the conversations they are having about you with someone else?

I spent many nights in my bed praying for the help to keep my eyes focused on Jesus. Prayers to renew my mind. Prayer to cast down vain imaginations. God, do not allow the enemy to try to rob me of this knowledge so that I can walk in the fullness that You have for me. I want to walk in the abundant life, the complete life. Why? I want to make an impact for good that gives glory back to God. I know that I am called to do it with the body of believers that I am called to.

A few weeks ago, someone in small group said that the body is only as strong as its weakest link. As a body we are suppose to be working together. Ephesians 4:11-13 (AMP) says, And [His gifts to the church were varied and] He Himself appointed some as apostles [special messengers, representatives], some as prophets [who speak a new message from God to the people], some as evangelists [who spread the good news of salvation], and some as pastors and teachers [to shepherd and guide and instruct], [and He did this] to fully equip and perfect the saints (God’s people) for works of service, to build up the body of Christ [the church]; until we all reach oneness in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God, [growing spiritually] to become a mature believer, reaching to the measure of the fullness of Christ [manifesting His spiritual completeness and exercising our spiritual gifts in unity]. Oneness of faith and unity stood out to me. The body of Christ needs to be in unity. Sometimes we start by saying the entire body of Christ, but what if we put it down to our body (the church you are called to). Does that not to be in unity too?

Ephesians 4:16 (AMP) From Him the whole body [the church, in all its various parts], joined and knitted firmly together by what every joint supplies, when each part is working properly, causes the body to grow and mature, building itself up in [unselfish] love.

Every joint supplies. When we apply this to your local body, you get a healthy functioning church. Your body that you are called to can properly mature and become effectual in your community. I always ask people that if you have a ministry and you will not use it in your local body that you are called to, why? The Word just said in here that we are joined and knitted firmly together by what every joint supplies, that joint being your gifting/ministry included within the local church.

How does this get into walking in the blessings that God has for us? It is not a sin issue (not that sin should not be addressed) but it is a unity issue. I am not talking about having unity over the political, sociology and economical issues of our time. I am talking about the working together (yes, I said that bad word work) with the gifts and callings to build up the body of Christ. We, together, walk in the knowledge and truth that God wants to see the body complete, which is another benefit of Jesus going to the cross.

So my question to myself is that, am I being a supplier to my joint? I cannot lose focus on my calling worried about if someone is in theirs. Praying that God will send someone to fill that joint that is willing to. I cannot drag anyone to it, He will fill it. God I release it to you. I will keep doing what you called me to do. I will finish this race and keep my eyes focused on Jesus.

I would love to hear from you if you struggle with the same thoughts sometimes. Message me at amanda@desiringformore.org

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One Year Later

It has been a year since the Stay at Home Order in Alabama. We were told that we should only go out of our homes to get the essentials (i.e. groceries, toiletries, home repair, etc.). Masks were not mandated yet, but you saw people wearing them in public, as well as, gloves of all sorts. There was toilet paper, disinfectant wipes and spray shortages.

Our kids were on spring break at the time. Since my kids are athletes, and how else are we suppose to get teenagers away from electronics these days, I made them run every morning. We lifted weights together, at the house, every day. I tried to keep them as active as possible. It brought me back to the days when I was growing up and my grandmother would keep us outside during the summer so we would not just watch television all day. We would ride our bikes to a friends house or they would all come over to my grandmother’s and swim. It was too cool for the pool to be open, so one rode his bike all over the neighborhood and the other learned to climb ladders and hang out on the roof.

What made me want to write about this was because as pastors my husband and I had to adjust, but we did not want this to change the core of what we believed the church should be. There was a quote being posted around Facebook, it said, “Your Pastor has never pastored a church through a Pandemic before. When he opens people are going to say he should have closed. When he closes people are going to say he should have opened. When he shakes hands people are going to say he has faith. When he shakes hands people are going to say he’s foolish. He’s going to make some difficult decisions to protect the flock considering everything from your spiritual growth to legal liabilities that you aren’t even thinking about. He has the incredible responsibility of looking over the well being of his flock. Remember this:No one wants things to go well at church as much as your pastor. Your pastor needs your prayers and support right now. And although you can’t touch him, give him an air high 5. 😄 support your pastor in prayer.”

Ephesians 4:11-13 (AMP) And [His gifts to the church were varied and] He Himself appointed some as apostles [special messengers, representatives], some as prophets [who speak a new message from God to the people], some as evangelists [who spread the good news of salvation], and some as pastors and teachers [to shepherd and guide and instruct], [and He did this] to fully equip and perfect the saints (God’s people) for works of service, to build up the body of Christ [the church]; until we all reach oneness in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God, [growing spiritually] to become a mature believer, reaching to the measure of the fullness of Christ [manifesting His spiritual completeness and exercising our spiritual gifts in unity].

This is our calling and our role. It breaks my heart that the body was separated during that time physically, but we should not have been separated spiritually. There have been many things that have happened in the past year. A real shaking occurred. The shaking could have gone two ways: 1) it could have shaken us awake and brought us closer together to unify, or 2) it could have shaken us to divide us. Whatever you are going through in your life right now, I pray that things were shaken to draw you closer to Him. That is what I chose to do this past year.

It breaks my heart that the body was separated during that time physically, but we should not have been separated spiritually.

Yes, my family did get hit with COVID-19. It effected me different than everyone else in my home. Both of my grandparents passed away this past year. Both of my husband’s and my parents have had long term effects of the virus. They are coming out of it, it has taken a few months. We know of those that have been put on a respirator and recovered. It has been a year that changed our world. So please continue to pray for us (your pastors and leaders) as it has been a year of not knowing what to do and still doing it. We did not give up on you. We are here wanting to see you grow in His spiritual completeness and exercise your gifts in unity.

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God causes the growth

Ugly Christmas sweaters at church

1 Corinthians 3:6-7 (AMP) I planted, Apollos watered, but God [all the while] was causing the growth. So neither is the one who plants nor the one who waters anything, but [only] God who causes the growth.

Today my oldest son turns seventeen. He will be a senior in just a few short months. Last week we went to watch him wrestle for state (his first time making it to the qualifiers after four years of trying). He had to step out after the second round due to a possible concussion. Ari fought two really tough competitors. In his first match, the guy was a senior and had placed second the year before, and was undefeated so far this year. Ari lost that round. In his second match, Ari and the other wrestler collided right off the start, head first. Then they pulled back and did it again. It was a tough one, it looked like a brawl from the stands. When done, Ari had a mark under his eye and it was starting to swell. The other kids head gear had got him. Since he woke up with a head ache the next day they took him out. It was a little disappointing for him, but he said he is looking forward to doing it again next year.

So today I am reflecting on how we got here. On this day after thirty two hours in labor, and twelve days after his due date, Ari was born weighing eight pounds and twelve ounces. He was (and still is) beautiful. We had some struggle moments when he was a baby and in his toddler years, really we should have known he was going to be strong willed when he spent the full forty two weeks in the womb. There are some really great moments too. We taught him a few words in sign language before he started talking. He could tells us he wanted to eat, some milk, if he wanted more or if he had enough food. Meal times were when we got to sit together, since I worked full time. It was not until he was almost four that he would be able to stay with me all day.

Then he started going to school, kindergarten. That was my very first parent/teacher conference about behavior. I got to have one of those, within the first nine weeks of school, every year for seven more years. There was one year the principal called me so much that I would make a sigh before I answered the phone. On top of all of this he was a straight “A” student!

When Ari got into eighth grade, he tried out for wrestling and fell in love with the sport. We tried putting him in soccer, in baseball and football. He did not enjoy them, but we knew he needed an outlet. He was passionate about wrestling though. Guess what? I have not been called in for a parent/teacher conference in four years!! I love wrestling. I will take him every where to train. I will get him to any club that had it going on. I will hire a personal trainer to teach him foot work.

What is also amazing is that he honors and respects his parents. He will get up from what he is doing in his room and help me with things around the house, happily. At church, he puts the signs out and makes sure the duplication process for the CDs is ready to go. He hands out the CDs after service. We sit down every school morning, along with his brother, and we read a devotional and pray before they walk out the door. What is most important is that he not only does these things because we ask, but he sees his parents do them. He sees us spending time in the Word daily. He sees us serving in the church. When we do service projects in the community, I do not drop them off, we serve together.

What is most important is that he not only does these things because we ask, but he sees his parents do them. He sees us spending time in the Word daily. He sees us serving in the church. When we do service projects in the community, I do not drop them off, we serve together.

In my beginning verse, it says that I get to plant the seed. From what you read above you would think that now I have the perfect son. He still has his moments. He still can be rude, disrespectful and a jerk. Actually two weeks ago we got into a really big discussion on how his communication needed to be improved. He had all electronics taken away for two days (that included his cell phone). Then when he got it back, he binge played on his XBox and came out of his hole an emotional wreck. Fun stuff, right?! Like him, there are days that I lash out at the people I love too. He needed grace in that moment.

He still needs our guidance. Ultimately though, he is God’s. He will be leaving home in a few years to start his life on his own. I pray that we have laid a good foundation for him. I pray he grows. I want him to grow and mature in God. I want him to succeed. Although we may want them to, my goal is that he will not NEED me (it would be selfish of me if I did not do this). I need to point him to Christ. I need to show him where real growth and success comes from. Before a match we thank God that it is through His strength that Ari gets his power source. Ari has done his part in weight training, practicing endurance and learning technique. Now he can rest, and not feel anxious, in how God puts it all together through him when he wrestles. What a difference that perspective has made in his wrestling this year.

If you know how that feels hit the like button on this post. Let me know your struggles and celebrate the successes with you. If you need prayer you can message me at amanda@desiringformore.org.