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All About You

Psalms 27:8 (AMP) When You said, “Seek My face [in prayer, require My presence as your greatest need],” my heart said to You, “Your face, O Lord, I will seek [on the authority of Your word].”

We are officially in 2024. You may have written out your goals or made a resolutions to be a better version of yourself this year. I have seen this statement over and over “A Better Me.” Do you remember when were in grade school and the first week of school we had to do a project called “All About Me?” I do and it still goes on today. It is something that we have done because it is our nature to be self centered and self focused. There is nothing wrong with making goals. There is nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself. My question though is for what reason?

Isaiah 12:5 (AMP) Sing praises to the Lord, for He has done excellent and glorious things; let this be known throughout the earth.

I love reading. I do it to gain knowledge, but also because the written word puts pictures in my head. When I read the account of David bringing the Ark of the Covenant back to Jerusalem, David’s first attempt was failure. Those who he had chosen to help him did not understand the reverence that needed to be held for such a piece. David was grieved that he could place people in a path of destruction by doing something so noble. Was this something that God wanted him to do? If so, how? The second attempt he, and the camp were successful (see 2 Samuel 6 and 1 Chronicles 13:1-16:43). In 1 Chronicles 16 we see a psalm commissioned by King David of which is also recorded in Psalms 105:

Psalms 105: 1-4 (AMP) O give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name; make known His deeds among the people. Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; speak of all His wonderful acts and devoutly praise them. Glory in His holy name; let the hearts of those who seek and require the Lord [as their most essential need] rejoice. Seek and deeply long for the Lord and His strength [His power, His might]; seek and deeply long for His face and His presence continually.

As soon as the Ark is brought in, he has commissioned the task for them to sing a song of thanksgiving. Who received the glory? God did. It is His grace that allows us to do anything whether it is in the marketplace, in our homes or within the church.

Ephesians 2:8 (AMP) For it is by grace [God’s remarkable compassion and favor drawing you to Christ] that you have been saved [actually delivered from judgment and given eternal life] through faith. And this [salvation] is not of yourselves [not through your own effort], but it is the [undeserved, gracious] gift of God

The word for grace in greek is ‘charis’, it is the word that we get charisma from. We often translate it as God’s undeserved favor. What if we looked at it as God’s empowerment? When I say I have been graced for something, I am saying that God has empowered me for this. When Jesus ascended He sent the Holy Spirit to empower us. We now have the charisma of God on this earth moving in and through us. This is a gift. What we do with this gift can either be used to glorify Him or it can be abused.

Philippians 2:3-11 (AMP) Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit [through factional motives, or strife], but with [an attitude of] humility [being neither arrogant nor self-righteous], regard others as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this same attitude in yourselves which was in Christ Jesus [look to Him as your example in selfless humility], who, although He existed in the form and unchanging essence of God [as One with Him, possessing the fullness of all the divine attributes—the entire nature of deity], did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped or asserted [as if He did not already possess it, or was afraid of losing it]; but emptied Himself [without renouncing or diminishing His deity, but only temporarily giving up the outward expression of divine equality and His rightful dignity] by assuming the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men [He became completely human but was without sin, being fully God and fully man]. After He was found in [terms of His] outward appearance as a man [for a divinely-appointed time], He humbled Himself [still further] by becoming obedient [to the Father] to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also [because He obeyed and so completely humbled Himself], God has highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee shall bow [in submission], of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess and openly acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord (sovereign God), to the glory of God the Father.

In the fall of 2018 my ego and spirit had been wounded. I could have retreated and pulled back from everything. I did run into the hiding place of God. That did not mean that I hid from people. Remember, it is through Him that we are empowered. When I shrink back, I am giving power to whatever hurt me. We have instinctively told people that this is okay because it is a natural reaction. 2 Samuel 6:6-7 (AMP) “When they came to Nacon’s threshing floor, Uzzah reached out [with his hand] to the ark of God and took hold of it, because the oxen [stumbled and] nearly overturned it. And the anger of the Lord burned against Uzzah, and God struck him there for his irreverence; and he died there by the ark of God.” It was a noble thing that Uzzah reached out to catch the Ark when it looked like it would fall, but that is not what pleased God. I think when we withdraw and focus on self we are doing the same thing. It may seem noble to encourage this, but ultimately we become so self-focused that we lose sight on what we were graced for. The ministry of reconciliation, that we are called to, get put on the back of our minds. We have been graced for this. The charisma to carry out our calling has been gifted to us. Desiring for More was birthed out of that time. My desire to see spiritual growth in others was birthed out of that.

In a world that tells us to make it all about us, we should be conforming to the model of Christ. He wanted His Father to get the glory, so He served. Christ did not want to make a name for Himself, in doing so God made His Name above every Name. What was the heart motive of Christ? It was for you and me. Seek first His Kingdom and all things will be taken care of (Matthew 6:33). If you want to better yourself, spend more time in His Presence. Get to know the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David and Jesus. Jesus became a man so that He could show us the way to the Father. He did that through selfless humility. He went to the cross.

Abba, Father, You are so Marvelous. We stand in Awe of Your Majesty. You are our Creator and our Banner. Thank You for sending Your Son to bring us back to right standing with You. Thank You for gifting us with the Holy Spirit. We have now been given the grace and power to walk into everything that You have for us. You have gifted us with Comfort, with Peace, with Joy and with Wholeness to just name a few. In our desire to grab a hold of these, we have omitted that we still need You. They are free gifts, but it is You who shows us how to operate in them. We repent for the times we did not walk in Your grace and made it all about us. You have told us not to conform to the world and yet we did. Forgive us as we turn back to You and pull from our place of Redemption. We want to glorify Your Name. We want Your Name to be high and lifted up. We want to speak of Your good works. We choose joy today. We choose hope today. We choose forgiveness today. We choose love today. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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From the Stack of 2023

Joshua 1:8 (AMP) This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall read (and meditate on) it day and night, so that you may be careful to do (everything) in accordance with all this is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will be successful.

At the beginning of the year I pull out a stack of books to read. Often as I read, I will purchase more due to the recommendation of the author. Including in my books are devotions, Bible Studies, and (not pictured) my Bible. I was asked to pull some nuggets from some of my favorites. Here is what I read in 2023:

3 Bible Studies:

  • Ephesians by Joyce Meyer
  • Finding I Am by Lysa Terkeurst
  • Steps to Freedom in Christ by Neil Anderson & Steve Goss

6 Devotionals:

  • Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
  • From Faith to Faith by Kenneth and Gloria Copeland
  • Love Out Loud by Joyce Meyer
  • Jesus Calling for Christmas by Sarah Young
  • Awaken by Priscilla Shirer
  • Live in Grace, Walk in Love by Bob Goff

20 books:

  • The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller
  • Humility, the Joy of Self-Forgetfulness by Gavin Ortlund
  • A Woman’s Walk with God by Elizabeth George
  • The Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer
  • The Well Watered Woman by Gretchen Saffles
  • No Back Doors, The Charles Graham Story
  • What Every Believer Should Know About Spiritual Warfare by Marcus Warner
  • The Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson
  • Understanding the Wounded Heart by Marcus Warner
  • Setting Your Marriage Free by Neil Anderson
  • The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel
  • The Nature of God by David Yonggi Cho
  • It’s Not How You Look, It’s What You See by Lisa Bevere
  • Loving God with All Your Mind by Elizabeth George
  • The Awe of God by John Bevere
  • God Still Speaks by John Eckhardt
  • Setting You Church Free by Neil Anderson
  • The Answer to Anxiety by Joyce Meyer
  • Becoming a Discipleship Making Church by Neil Anderson
  • Killing Kryptonite by John Bevere

Finding I Am (How Jesus Fully Satisfies the Cry of Your Heart) by Lysa Terkeurst: Lysa Terkeurst is one of my all time favorite authors. Of all the Lisa’s she is the one I have not seen speak in person. I have seen Lisa Bevere and Lisa Harper, but have yet to make it to a conference to see Lysa Terkeurst. Finding I Am was a study I did in 2020 and I decided to bring it to the ladies of my church for a small group. This study takes you through the seven “I Am” statements of Christ. What I love is that it even shows Christ at the beginning in Genesis. My favorite “I Am” statement is “I Am the Vine”. In John 15, Jesus tells us that we are to be connected to the Vine to bear much fruit. In order to bear fruit, there must be times of pruning, and that is actually when the gardener (or God) is closest to us. The pruned branches of the vine resemble a cross and that is us transforming more into the image of Christ. I have to choose to remain in Him on a daily basis.

Love Out Loud, 365 Devotions for Loving God, Loving Yourself, and Loving Others by Joyce Meyer: Joyce Meyer is another author favorite of mine. Her testimony of overcoming bitterness and anger from her childhood trauma is inspiring. Love Out Loud is a devotion that I have read over and over for the past few years and have decided to retire to start another one of hers. The heart of Loving Out Loud is to be intentional. Matthew 22:37-39 (AMP) And Jesus replied to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for others].’

Awaken: 90 Days with the God Who Speaks by Priscilla Shirer: This was a recommendation by a friend. Priscilla Shirer also wrote Discerning the Voice of God: How to Recognize When God is Speaking that I read in 2022. This devotion reminds you of the importance of God’s Word. An excerpt with her prompt: “When you’re tempted to put yourself in a better position by bending a biblical principle, stay anchored to the right path. When the Spirit alerts you to a ground rule (which feels in the moment to be unnecessary and inconvenient), don’t recoil in rebellion. Deny yourself and follow Him. Run to win. Trust your Father to keep you on the winning trajectory, the one that leads to hearing ‘well done’ and enjoying the long-lasting satisfaction of eternal accomplishments – the only achievements that really matter anyway.” What are some basic, biblical guidelines you’ve gotten away form prioritizing? Ask the Lord to bring them to mind. “But be doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” James 1:22 CSB

The Well-Watered Woman: Rooted in Truth, Growing in Grace, Flourishing in Faith by Gretchen Saffles: This book was recommendation from my Amazon shopping due to the other books I have ordered. Some quotes:

  • The earth that was made to bear fruit would now also bear thorns and thistles, pain and disappointment, suffering and sorrow. In our struggle with jealousy, thorns grow. In your bitterness against the person who betrayed you, thorns grow. In your desire for something that God hasn’t given you, thorns grow.
  • I have learned firsthand that even if the roots are bad, hope is not lost.
  • The gospel uproots the lies buried in our souls and plants truth in their place.
  • Maybe you feel like weeds and worries are the only things growing in the soil of your life.
  • God can take the Babylon of your life and make it into a beautiful place of revival and restoration. But first you must plant a garden. You must surrender you own plans and purposes to exchange for His, which are far greater than anything that you could conjure up in your human nearsightedness.
  • True success begins in total surrender, in exchanging self determination for Spirit-led discipline.

This books encourages you to get closer to Christ through His Word. Allow the seed of the Word to flourish in your life. Allow it to do the work in you to uproot everything that keeps you from the freedom He desires for you. Replace that root system with Him.

The Awe of God: The Astounding Way a Healthy Fear of God Transforms Your Life by John Bevere: John Bevere is another author that I read from every year. I also ready Killing Kryptonite this year. Everyone of His books are going to point back to the topic of reverencing God and honor. John writes, “The person who fears God doesn’t say within themselves, ‘How close can I get to the line of sin and not fall in?’ No her or she says, ‘ I want to be so close to God, and so far away from that line, that I can’t even see it.'” Another great insight was into the three images we hold about ourselves: “Every human being has three images of themselves: a perceived image, a projected image, and an actual image. Our perceived image is how others see us. Our projected image is the way we desire others to see us. Our actual image is who we really are, and while it can be hidden and unnoticed by others, it’s fully visible to God. If I am self-focused, then I’ll seek to project an image that will cover my known inadequacies. If we succumb to the pressure of comparison, we highlight our shortcomings and in turn self-promote or self-protect, and it all begins in our motives and intentions.” When we realize that it is God who we are pleasing, then it changes how we present ourselves. He already knows the real us. My lack of fear puts out our a projections, my holy fear of Him enables me to live who I actually am. There is freedom.

God Still Speaks: How to Hear and Receive Revelation from God for Your Family, Church and Community by John Eckhardt: This was a book I wanted to read because I had read Destroying the Spirit of Rejection from him in 2022. The way God communicates with me is often prophetically. Did you know that when you are speaking out His written Word that you are prophesying? He also gives me vision and dreams. I do not like to draw too much focus on them because I think we have fancied the prophetic anointing that we lose focus on the Word giver Himself. It is important to have a submissive and teachable spirit. John writes, “As they minister spiritual gifts, it is extremely important for all of the saints of the local assembly to truly remain a submissive and teachable spirit toward their pastor and their local leadership. The pastors and other leaders have been given the responsibility to be shepherds for both the people and for those who are ministering in their gifts. Input and correction given by those in authority should be eagerly received by saints, who should desire to manifest their ministry in a way that will compliment the philosophy of the local church. No prophetic team member should ever assume that he or she does not receive direction or correction form the pastor. (See Proverbs 12:15).” The prophetic anointing is often seen as confrontational. Our desire is to see the body of Christ to be fruitful. They truly do love the church.

Understanding the Wounded Heart by Marcus Warner: I also read What Every Believer Should Know About Spiritual Warfare by this author. In both books he uses the acronym for WLVS (wolves). It is a spiritual term of the enemy, satan. WLVS stands for Wounds, Lies, Vows and Strongholds. “Wounds are like plowed soil. Lies are like seeds. Vows are like vines. Strongholds are the fruit that grows on the vines. Strongholds are unwanted fruit such as anger, depression, anxiety, shame and addition.” What we rehearse in our minds become what we believe as truth. Here are some examples: “My father ignored me, so I believe I am worthless.” John also writes, “If people are going to see real transformation, they are going to have to deal with root level issues.” God wants us to be honest, sometimes that reveals things that we don’t like about ourselves. He can work with that. Christ wants to be what we are rooted and grounded in. What does the devil want, “He gets us to fixate on the facts that ‘prove’ his point, and he distracts us from those facts that might give us a different perspective.” The enemy wants to distract us from the truth of God’s Word.

No Back Doors: The Charles Graham Story: Charles is a long time friend of my husband’s family. I first met him as a teenager. Before we married, we would travel to California, and my husband would stay with Charles. He took us to the Six Flags and Universal Studios while we were there. He sang at our wedding and stayed at our apartment when we were on our honeymoon. He spoke at the service that changed leadership from my husband’s parents to us, for the church we now pastor. Charles has always been the model of hospitality. When I read No Back Doors I was more enamored of the love of Christ that Charles really exudes. It is not fake. Charles grew up in rural Arkansas on a farm that his family worked on. He grew up when they desegregated schools. God took him from rural Arkansas to travel the world to minister the gospel, not to mention the tremendous voice he has to sing. He now owns the mansion that farm is on. He really demonstrates the love and forgiveness of Christ.

Becoming a Disciple Making Church: A Proven Method for Growing Spiritually Mature Christians by Neil Anderson: I read four books by Neil Anderson this year. This was my first. In reading his books, it was recommended to read the books by Marcus Warner. Everyone of his books also points to his study, The Steps to Freedom in Christ: A Biblical Guide to Help You Resolve Personal and Spiritual Conflicts and Become a Fruitful Disciple of Jesus, of which I lead small group this year for my church in the spring. Neil writes, “New believers must first become firmly rooted in Christ in order for them to grow in Christ, and live freely in Christ.” There are different levels to growth. They all must point to Christ. Chart on levels of Growth from the book:

The Bondage Breaker: Overcoming Negative Thoughts, Irrational Feelings and Habitual Sins by Neil Anderson: Neil writes, “God never designed the soul to function as its own master.” Denying ourselves and submitting to Christ brings us out of bondage. We are all tempted in three areas: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. “There is no way you can cleverly word a prayer so that God must capitulate your will. That not only distorts the meaning of prayer, it is an attempt to manipulate God. The righteous will live by faith in the written Word of God and not demand that God prove Himself in response to their whims or wishes, no matter how noble they may appear to be.” When we are screaming for God to do something in our lives for change to happen, we must take an inward look. “Whose responsibility is it to submit to God and resist the devil? Whose responsibility is it to put on the armor of God, take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, stand firm in faith, and make no provision for the flesh in regards to its lusts? “ At the end of the book he takes you through the steps to Freedom in Christ as he does in his study. The biggest hurdle for most is that of forgiveness. He spends a lot of time in all of his books on this topic.

It is hard for me to just pick a few books, or just a couple. I love to read. I am sure you can see that. Why read books like this? I glean from others revelations. When I read His Word, He brings back to remembrance other things I have read. It brings a fullness to who God is. What do I do with the books when I am done? I put them on my shelf and pull them out again. I have pulled out The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller and Humility, the Joy of Self-Forgetfulness by Gavin Ortlund to read again this year. I have also pulled out X: Multiply Your God-Given Potential by John Bevere to read for the third time. My prayer is to always grow deeper in His Word, but also be a doer of His Word. People are important. When I grow myself, I desire to see growth in others also. Discipleship is not about making time for people, it is about making yourself available. I do not want to just make time for God, I want to make myself available to Him.

Lord of Lords, Kings of Kings, Alpha and Omega, the First and the Last, You are who reigns above it all. You are Worthy of Honor and Praise. No other Name is above Yours. Thank You for sending Your Son to be the Lamb, the Root of David, the Word made flesh. We are walking in righteousness because of You. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit now dwelling in us. We now can walk in the fullness You created us in. We repent for not standing on the truth of Your Word. We have fallen in the trap of lusting after our own gratification. We choose to surrender to Your Word, Your Will and Your Ways. As we read Your Word, let it be a Light and Beacon of Freedom. We choose to walk in Your statutes and precepts. We are casting off any exalted thought that does not line up with forgiveness and has misaligned us to take on jealousy, envy, bitterness, resentment and anger. We choose freedom this year. We choose joy this year. We choose hope this year. We choose love this year. Grow Your Love in us, so that it is all that flows out of us. We choose surrender this year. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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What are we proclaiming?

Isaiah 52:7 (MEV) How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who proclaims peace, who brings good news of happiness, who proclaims salvation, who says to Zion, “Your God reigns!”

What is it that we are proclaiming in our lives? What are we proclaiming to others? That is what was on my thoughts yesterday. To proclaim means to declare something that one considers important. What is important?

In the month of December I choose to read a chapter of Luke a day to focus on the life of Jesus. After all, Jesus is the reason for the season. I can get all caught up in buying the perfect Christmas gift, baking the perfect Christmas cookies and planning the perfect Christmas dinner, yet not take the time to focus on the real meaning of this time. It is not just about any baby being born. The Savior of the world came down to earth to live among us.

Isaiah 9:6-7 (MSG) For a child has been born—for us! the gift of a son—for us! He’ll take over the running of the world. His names will be: Amazing Counselor, Strong God, Eternal Father, Prince of Wholeness. His ruling authority will grow, and there’ll be no limits to the wholeness he brings. He’ll rule from the historic David throne over that promised kingdom. He’ll put that kingdom on a firm footing and keep it going with fair dealing and right living, beginning now and lasting always. The zeal of God-of-the-Angel-Armies will do all this.

Luke 4:17-21 (MEV) The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to Him. When He had unrolled the scroll, He found the place where it was written: “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the broken-hearted, to preach deliverance to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed; to preach the acceptable year of the Lord.” Then He rolled up the scroll, and He gave it back to the attendant, and sat down. The eyes of all those who were in the synagogue were fixed on Him. And He began to say to them, “Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

Isaiah 61:1-3 (AMP) The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed and commissioned me to bring good news to the humble and afflicted; He has sent me to bind up [the wounds of] the brokenhearted, to proclaim release [from confinement and condemnation] to the [physical and spiritual] captives and freedom to prisoners, to proclaim the favorable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance and retribution of our God, to comfort all who mourn, to grant to those who mourn in Zion the following: to give them a turban instead of dust [on their heads, a sign of mourning], the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a disheartened spirit. so they will be called the trees of righteousness [strong and magnificent, distinguished for integrity, justice, and right standing with God], the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.

The Scriptures have been fulfilled! O, that you would know how fulfilling this is. The Message translation calls Him the Prince of Wholeness. He came to make physical and spiritual captives free. What are you proclaiming? I want you to know this Jesus. Jesus was born in a manger because there was no room for Him at the inn. Look at that statement again…’there was no room for Him.’ Do not keep Jesus on the outside of your life and only invite Him in when you find the room. He came to heal you up from the inside out. He came to make you whole. He came for the whole world.

One of my favorite parts of Luke is chapter 5. In it we see that Jesus met Simon (Peter) and called him to be a fisher of men. We read about the paralytic man that they lowered through the roof to get to Jesus. The calling of Matthew as he is collecting taxes. He called him out of the booth he was collecting taxes in. My favorite though is the healing of the leper.

Luke 5:12-13 (AMP) While Jesus was in one of the cities, there came a man covered with [an advanced case of] leprosy; and when he saw Jesus, he fell on his face and begged Him, saying, “Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean and well.” And Jesus reached out His hand and touched him, saying, “I am willing; be cleansed.” And immediately the leprosy left him. 

Jesus reached out His hand and touched the man. According to the law, lepers had to be at least eight feet away from people. Yet, Jesus reached out and touched him. The second astonishing thing: “I am willing” statement. A lot of times we prayer, “if it be Your will.” Remember in Isaiah He is called the Prince of Wholeness. It is His will. This is the favorable year of the Lord. The Scriptures have been fulfilled!

I understand if this has not been your reality yet. I want it to be. That is why I am proclaiming such. Jesus came to do so much more than to save us from hell. I may be pressed down at times, but I am not out. I may have times of concern, but I know who my source is. This is why I choose to honor God in everything that comes through my hands. This is why I do not count people out of my life. We may be separated for a while, but if we allow the Holy Spirit to do the work in our hearts, He will bring us back together. Love always hopes. So I pose this question again, “What are you proclaiming (declaring as important)?”

Elohim, Master, Creator, we are in awe of You. You are Marvelous and Mighty. Thank You for sending Your Son to be the Prince of Wholesness. There may not have been a place for Him at the inn, but we have made a place for Him in all that we are. Thank You for the gift of the Holy Spirit to be the Amazing Counselor. He is a part of the Trinity that now dwells here on earth and within us. We do not take that for granted. Let the Holy Spirit have free reign of our hearts, minds and tongues. We repent for making this season all about us and what we want. We sometimes but the thought of pleasing others before pleasing You, especially when it comes to family. You gave us our families, but we are not to make them lord and seeking completeness from them. You are Lord. Let us proclaim You are Lord. Let us proclaim that this is Your day, this is Your season, this is Your year. Let us walk in Peace in knowing that it is Your will for us to be made whole. Let us proclaim Your salvation grace to the world. Let us proclaim of Your goodness. We choose love today. We choose hope today. We choose joy today. We choose forgiveness today. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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God causes the growth

Ugly Christmas sweaters at church

1 Corinthians 3:6-7 (AMP) I planted, Apollos watered, but God [all the while] was causing the growth. So neither is the one who plants nor the one who waters anything, but [only] God who causes the growth.

Today my oldest son turns seventeen. He will be a senior in just a few short months. Last week we went to watch him wrestle for state (his first time making it to the qualifiers after four years of trying). He had to step out after the second round due to a possible concussion. Ari fought two really tough competitors. In his first match, the guy was a senior and had placed second the year before, and was undefeated so far this year. Ari lost that round. In his second match, Ari and the other wrestler collided right off the start, head first. Then they pulled back and did it again. It was a tough one, it looked like a brawl from the stands. When done, Ari had a mark under his eye and it was starting to swell. The other kids head gear had got him. Since he woke up with a head ache the next day they took him out. It was a little disappointing for him, but he said he is looking forward to doing it again next year.

So today I am reflecting on how we got here. On this day after thirty two hours in labor, and twelve days after his due date, Ari was born weighing eight pounds and twelve ounces. He was (and still is) beautiful. We had some struggle moments when he was a baby and in his toddler years, really we should have known he was going to be strong willed when he spent the full forty two weeks in the womb. There are some really great moments too. We taught him a few words in sign language before he started talking. He could tells us he wanted to eat, some milk, if he wanted more or if he had enough food. Meal times were when we got to sit together, since I worked full time. It was not until he was almost four that he would be able to stay with me all day.

Then he started going to school, kindergarten. That was my very first parent/teacher conference about behavior. I got to have one of those, within the first nine weeks of school, every year for seven more years. There was one year the principal called me so much that I would make a sigh before I answered the phone. On top of all of this he was a straight “A” student!

When Ari got into eighth grade, he tried out for wrestling and fell in love with the sport. We tried putting him in soccer, in baseball and football. He did not enjoy them, but we knew he needed an outlet. He was passionate about wrestling though. Guess what? I have not been called in for a parent/teacher conference in four years!! I love wrestling. I will take him every where to train. I will get him to any club that had it going on. I will hire a personal trainer to teach him foot work.

What is also amazing is that he honors and respects his parents. He will get up from what he is doing in his room and help me with things around the house, happily. At church, he puts the signs out and makes sure the duplication process for the CDs is ready to go. He hands out the CDs after service. We sit down every school morning, along with his brother, and we read a devotional and pray before they walk out the door. What is most important is that he not only does these things because we ask, but he sees his parents do them. He sees us spending time in the Word daily. He sees us serving in the church. When we do service projects in the community, I do not drop them off, we serve together.

What is most important is that he not only does these things because we ask, but he sees his parents do them. He sees us spending time in the Word daily. He sees us serving in the church. When we do service projects in the community, I do not drop them off, we serve together.

In my beginning verse, it says that I get to plant the seed. From what you read above you would think that now I have the perfect son. He still has his moments. He still can be rude, disrespectful and a jerk. Actually two weeks ago we got into a really big discussion on how his communication needed to be improved. He had all electronics taken away for two days (that included his cell phone). Then when he got it back, he binge played on his XBox and came out of his hole an emotional wreck. Fun stuff, right?! Like him, there are days that I lash out at the people I love too. He needed grace in that moment.

He still needs our guidance. Ultimately though, he is God’s. He will be leaving home in a few years to start his life on his own. I pray that we have laid a good foundation for him. I pray he grows. I want him to grow and mature in God. I want him to succeed. Although we may want them to, my goal is that he will not NEED me (it would be selfish of me if I did not do this). I need to point him to Christ. I need to show him where real growth and success comes from. Before a match we thank God that it is through His strength that Ari gets his power source. Ari has done his part in weight training, practicing endurance and learning technique. Now he can rest, and not feel anxious, in how God puts it all together through him when he wrestles. What a difference that perspective has made in his wrestling this year.

If you know how that feels hit the like button on this post. Let me know your struggles and celebrate the successes with you. If you need prayer you can message me at amanda@desiringformore.org.

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Deeper Worship

Last night I was talking to our youth about going deeper about the things of the Holy Spirit. We talked about God not being bound to our three dimensional world. That there is so much more to this life that we cannot see because we like to confine ourselves to feelings. However, God did create us as a tri-une beings like He is. We are made up of body, soul (mind, will and emotions) and spirit. He is God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

Deuteronomy 6:5 (AMP) You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and mind and with all your soul and with all your strength [your entire being].

We got in the discussion about loving God and out of that love for God is why we worship. I explained that I had to grow and mature in why and how I worship. This type of love that Deuteronomy talks about, and what Jesus talked about in Mark 12:30, is grown out of a relationship with God. Relationships take work. Unfortunately, when relationships do not go our way or we feel like the effort is not worth the relationship. We can “fall out of love” with that individual. Some people “fall out of love” with God. Couples use that excuse all the time why they divorce, they just “fell out of love” with each other. As I have grown in my relationship, the type of growth like it talks about John 15, my love for God has also grown. My worship in turn has gotten deeper. My care about who is standing in the room during corporate worship, what I look like, has also matured. This is not about them, this is about Him!

Some people “fall out of love” with God.

John 4:24-25 (TPT) From here on, worshiping the Father will not be a matter of the right place but with the right heart. For God is a Spirit, and he longs to have sincere worshipers who worship and adore him in the realm of the Spirit and in truth.

There is a difference in what happens when you worship in the spirit. We can sing songs, we can read our Word, but we also have the gift, a gift that has to be received of the Holy Spirit (different from the spirit that is drawn to Christ, but of the same). Jesus says in Acts 1:8a (NKJV), “But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you.” Then in Acts 2:1-4 (NKJV) “When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.

Romans 8:26-27 (NKJV) Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.  Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

1 Corinthians 14:3-4 (NKJV) But he who prophesies speaks edification and exhortation and comfort to men. He who speaks in a tongue edifies himself, but he who prophesies edifies the church.

When we speak forth the Word of God we prophesy. Prophesying is not this spooky things about telling of future events, that is prophecy. That is a whole other gift of the spirit that we can dive into later, because some have abused this gift and made the things of God look foolish. But to prophesy is grounded in the Word of God. When I pray in tongues, or worship in the spirit, that is for me. It says in verse two that God hears what I say in the spirit directly. It says my prayer language is heard by God’s ears Himself. So when I worship in the spirit, oh there is fire that runs through my bones! I cannot get that until the Holy Spirit has come “upon me.” There is a different level out there if you are open to it.

I like to explain it this way about the power of what the Holy Spirit that can come upon you can do. I take the story from 2 Kings 6:15-17 (AMP) The servant of the man of God got up early and went out, and behold, there was an army with horses and chariots encircling the city. Elisha’s servant said to him, “Oh no, my master! What are we to do?”  Elisha answered, “Do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”  Then Elisha prayed and said, “Lord, please, open his eyes that he may see.” And the Lord opened the servants eyes and he saw; and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire surrounding Elisha. There is more going on than our three dimensional view can understand.

When I had the Holy Spirit come upon me, the power was confidence. Confidence in who I was as a child of God. I no longer had to be in extreme highs and extreme lows with my relationship with God. This does not mean I understand all things. No, and I am not meant to. It does mean that I can now worship Him on a different level. I worship in Spirit and in truth. The truth being grounded in His Word and no longer my feelings. Oh, how I wish you could feel my passion for this type of worship! This kind fills you with joy all the day long. This gets you excited to be up in the morning. This gives you a passion to prophesy, exhorting and edifying His church! I will leave you with one verse, it is one of my favorites to use when we get scared to step a little deeper with God: 2 Corinthians 6:11-13 (MSG) Dear, dear Corinthians, I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way. I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!

Take advantage of your prayer language, use it in worship. If you do not have one and you want to know more about this Holy Spirit that comes upon us I would love to help. You can email me at amanda@desiringformore.org. Go deeper this year!