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Teach us how to love well

1 Thessalonians 3:12 (AMP) And may the Lord cause you to increase and excel and overflow in love for one another, and for all people, just as we also do for you

This has been my prayer for the last few months for my church. As the pastors of Connect Church, we admit that we have not loved well. We want to be better, but we know we cannot do it in our own striving. We have to surrender that part of us to God. Why? The Lord will get the glory.

For the past few weeks, we have used Colossians 3:12-14 (MSG) as our base scripture and have been building on it in new ways. We are asking God to show us all directions of it, so that we may get the fullness of it for ourselves and in turn for our church.

Colossians 3″12-14 (MSG) So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Too often we have walked away from relationships that could have encouraged each party to grow closer in the Lord. We often forget that the promises that are found in God’s Word were written for imperfect people, and we can be the most imperfect of them all. We have this hope, “I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6).” We often hold close to this for personal reasons, but I cannot help but notice the next verse, “It is right for me to think this of you all because I have you in my heart…” Do we really think this for ourselves and not for others? I want to love better. So, I have changed my thoughts when negative ones come up about someone else, no matter what happened in the past. The first step in loving well is to think better.

The most important place to learn to love well is to abound in the presence of God. John 15 tells us about abiding. Jesus tells us that part of the abiding is the surrender. I have to surrender the hard things too, so that He can make them bear the fruit of what a relationship with Christ looks like. He says in John 15:10 (MEV), “If you keep My commandments, you will remain in My love, even as I have kept My Father’s commandments and remain in His love.” In order for me to love well, I have to remain in the love that can never run dry. This is the garment of love that I have to put on. In His love, I can love well.

Galatians 5:22-23 (AMP) But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

The opposite of love is fear, which is rooted in pride. It was the first acceptance of Adam that sin had entered the garden. Pride was what brought fear, the desire to be God (to judge right from wrong) had brought death and with it fear and shame (Genesis 3:10). When people do not meet my expectation and they disappoint it is because I am still trying to be judge. I have to surrender that. In order to love well, I have to think better. I know not everyone is going to do the same with me and that is okay. I will not take an account and hold it against them; I am going love well. Not everyone is going to keep their word, I am going to love well. There are going to be those that purposely count you out, I am going to love well. Instead of repeating the matter and get people on my side, I am going to love well.

Here is my prayer now, it was taken from Paul’s writing in Philippians 1:9-11: “This I pray, that our love may abound more and more, growing deeper, in real knowledge and in practical insight, so that we may learn to recognize and treasure what is excellent. That we identify with wisdom the best for each other. That we may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ. We have a desire to lead others out of darkness and into light. That we are filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ. Our desire is to the glory and praise of God, that His glory may be both revealed and recognized. In Jesus Name, Amen.“

I really have a desire for all to grow deeper in their relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Sometimes it comes to admitting that in order to grow, I have to love better. Father, teach me how to love well.

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First Quarter of 2025 Reads

Psalms 119:130 (AMP) The unfolding of Your [glorious] words give light; their unfolding gives understanding to the simple (childlike).

The year of 2025 has been a great start for reading. I may have missed only a few days, but no more than one day at a time. Along with these 16 books, I have committed to reading the Bible from cover to cover this year. I have read Genesis through Nehemiah and have gleaned something with each read. Someone asked me “when did the Word become alive to you? When did God start speaking to you through His Word?” It was when I stopped defending who Amanda was and started to surrender to who He wanted me to be. It was when I just gave up myself and surrendered to Him. So here are my books so far this year and a little about why I chose them:

  • The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller
  • Humility: The Joy of Self-Forgetfulness by Gavin Ortlund
  • Changing the Seem and Shaping the Unseen by Charles Capps
  • Ask Big by Terri Savelle Foy
  • Power Words by Joyce Meyer
  • Life Without Strife by Joyce Meyer
  • Restless by Jennie Allen
  • If Not for the Grace of God by Joyce Meyer
  • Built by the Spirit by Jack Hayford
  • For Better or For Best by Gary Smalley
  • The Names of God by Marilyn Hickey
  • Fruit of the Spirit by Greg Zoschak
  • Intercessors Arise: Personal Prayer That Changes the World by Debbie Przybylski
  • The Beloved Disciple by Beth Moore
  • Walking in the Spirit by A.B. Simpson
  • What About Me? by Joyce Meyer

First of my reads were What About Me? by Joyce Meyer, Humility: the Joy of Self-Forgetfulness by Gavin Ortlund and The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller. These are all books about dying to yourself. “And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to follow Me [as My disciple], he must deny himself [set aside selfish interests], and take up his cross daily [expressing a willingness to endure whatever may come] and follow Me [believing in Me, conforming to My example in living and, if need be, suffering or perhaps dying because of faith in Me] (Luke 9:23 AMP).” There is so much joy that comes into your life when you live a surrendered life. Pride is a killer of joy, and we combat that with learning what real humility is. Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less. I have read the humility books by Timothy Keller and Gavin Ortlund three times now. Why do I read books like these? The enemy wants us to be obsessed with ourselves. You may think that is how you grow in your abilities and your giftings. Actually, the opposite with happen because we will look to ourselves as our strength. Let go of who you think you are. Ortlund stated, “Humility means you don’t interpret everything in relation to yourself, and you don’t need to.” Keller wrote, “a person who keeps saying they are a nobody is actually a self-obsessed person. The thing we would remember from meeting a truly gospel-humble person is how much they seemed to be totally interested in us.” Joyce Meyer wrote, “Self-preservation is a strong trait in all of us, and letting go of making sure we are taken care of and trusting ourselves to God cannot be done without much prayer and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit.”

I read Fruit of the Spirit by Greg Zoschak and Walking in the Spirit by A.B. Simpson at the same time. (You will often find me reading multiple books at one time, at the moment I am reading three). “If we [claim to] live by the [Holy] Spirit, we must also walk by the Spirit [with personal integrity, godly character, and moral courage—our conduct empowered by the Holy Spirit] (Galatians 5:25 AMP).” My life should be changed. One thing I have learned is that you can either care or not care about your growth in Christ. A. B Simpson stated, “When the heart is fully surrendered to Him, He becomes its personal, permanent, indwelling Guest; bringing Him the manifested presence of the Father and the Son, leading into all truth, guiding in all the will of God, supplying all the needed grace, unfolding the life of Jesus Christ in the believer’s daily life, and developing all the fruits of the Spirit in their full variety and complete maturity.” Simpson talks about really discerning the voice of God and growing in maturity. He talks about pride and offense being a choice and that God looks at our heart behind our words. Zoschak’s book talks about the Fruit of the Spirit being a way others can tell we have been transformed by Christ. “Being led of God’s Spirit (His nature) implies not only being obedient to the voice of the Spirit, but also developing the character of God.” We must develop the awareness of God’s love for the fruits to grow in our lives. Self-preservation is the enemy to our growth. He wrote, “The reason Jesus was able to hear the Father’s voice so clearly was because He was faithful.” God speaks clearly to us when we are obedient to His Word. Confusion is not a fruit of the spirit, and neither is stress or strife. If those are in your life, get back to your position of love.

Intercessors Arise by Debbie Przbylski and Names of God by Marilyn Hickey were two more books that I read together. Our prayer lives should not be passive as believer’s. Prayer is another way when learn the heart of God. We often think prayer has to do with us speaking, it has more to do whether we listen to Him or not. The Word of God is vital to a vibrant prayer life. “With all prayer and petition pray [with specific requests] at all times [on every occasion and in every season] in the Spirit, and with this in view, stay alert with all perseverance and petition [interceding in prayer] for all God’s people (Ephesians 6:18 AMP).” Intercession is one part of our prayer lives and is often neglected or seen as just for those called to prayer. There are some that love it more than others, but that is only because they have cultivated it in their lives. I was one of those who did not enjoy corporate prayer, mostly because when I joined the group it was hard to concentrate because of all the noise in the room. That is when I had to learn who the most important voice was in the room. It is His. Debbie wrote, “How can we grow in godly character? How can the words we say and the way we live demonstrate holiness and humility? How does our character affect the way we pray? When we discover the beauty of humility and brokenness and learn how our tongue can bring grave into the lives of others, we also discover joy in the secret place that breaks through into fruitful and effective prayer.” She takes you on a journey of her learning about growing strong through intercession as she was a young missionary with Operation Mobilization, a mission ship Doulos, ministering to sixty countries. Marilyn Hickey is another champion of the faith and this book, Names of God, was one of my required readings back in seminary. I recently loaned it out in church and when I got it back decided to read it again. I believe God is everything we ever will need; it is up to us to hunger for Him. In the chapter titled Jehovah Rophe she stated, “God’s Word is like medicine. When you take the Word, you are taking in health. That is why God told His people to harken to His Word. God wants His people to be full of His own life. You may believe in healing, and that’s great, but there is more to it. You must receive healing. And you will receive it only by reading and meditating on God’s Word. You must continuously feed upon His Word of life, health and healing.” Books that point back to the importance of getting in His Word for ourselves are my favorite. We should not depend on another man’s revelation.

In 2025 I decided to make this the year of “Here I Am.” A statement of surrender. A statement of what You say goes. A statement to state that I will go where He says go. In doing so, as I read this year it is coming up more and more that He desires us to seek Him as our vital necessity. Nothing else. I have a shirt that says, “I love Jesus and Naps.” Another says, “I love Jesus and Chocolate.” I need one that says, “Jesus is Everything.” Nothing to add, I do not need anything else.

I urge you to read more. Get in the Word for yourself. He is still speaking today, are you listening?

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Integrity and Truth: Genuine

Titus 2:7-8 (AMP) And in all things show yourself to be an example of good works, with purity in doctrine [having the strictest regard for integrity and truth], dignified, sound and beyond reproach in instruction, so that the opponent [of the faith] will be shamed, having nothing bad to say about us.

When did it become okay to be dishonest in the church? Part of my reverence for God is how I speak. Some say, ‘well I do not cuss’. But are you honest? Do you skirt around the truth to make yourself look better? The lie could be so you do not hurt someone’s feelings. Paul tells us to act in a way that is beyond reproach. Why is this? So that the opponent of the faith will not have anything bad to say about us. We are giving the world an excuse to say, ‘why should I follow Jesus when there has not been a change made in that person’s life, they still lie, they steal?’ Do you know how many times that I know that I have been lied to? They will never know. I will not shun or cut them off, but I do know where the boundary of my trust lies. Love always hopes. I do not give up on them. Why? I would not want anyone to give up on me. God never throws us away, just look at Peter.

1 Peter 2:12 (AMP) Keep your behavior excellent among the [unsaved] Gentiles [conduct yourself honorably, with graciousness and integrity], so that for whatever reason they may slander you as evildoers, yet by observing your good deeds they may [instead come to] glorify God in the day of visitation [when He looks upon them with mercy].

Is it better to say you are going to do something or to actually do that something? This is another issue we have is that we do not keep our word. Integrity is what we should be known for. If I tell someone they can count on me to be there, baring an illness, I am going to be there. It may be just me. It may not be. I want to be known for someone that people can count on. Why? It shows that I care about them. Paul exhorts Titus in 2 Corinthians 8:7, “But just as you excel in everything, [and lead the way] in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in genuine concern, and in your love for us, see that you excel in this gracious work [of giving] also.” He is talking about how he gives but he talks about Titus having genuine concern for the body. Do we have genuine concern for those in the body of Christ? Maybe it is my pastor’s heart. I would hope that it is not for a select few that have a genuine concern for others. When did this start in me?

1 Timothy 4:12 (AMP) Let no one look down on [you because of] your youth, but be an example and set a pattern for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in [moral] purity.

There is no age limit, no maturity level, that should keep us from having a genuine concern for those in the body of Christ. Either you do or you do not. It is a faith issue. “If we [claim to] live by the [Holy] Spirit, we must also walk by the Spirit [with personal integrity, godly character, and moral courage—our conduct empowered by the Holy Spirit] (Galatians 5:25).” It takes faith to live a surrendered life to Christ. I have made mistakes, but a person of integrity will go back and apologize and say that is not how I want to have acted.

Galatians 5:22-23 (AMP) But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

My unselfish concern for others cannot be limited to just a select few, for example, just my family, or those that are just in my church. Where ever I go, I want people to know that they are valuable, that they are cared for. Is that not the example that Jesus lived? I cannot physically be there for every person, that is why I believe it is not for a select few that genuinely care for others. That is why I think they enemy fights the body of Christ from this revelation. That is why there is not true unity in the body. We are still out for ourselves, instead of having a genuine concern for others. What are some traits I can look for in myself? Truth and integrity. When I lie, it is all about me. When I do not keep my word, it is all about me. Do not be fake about it either. Be genuine.

Father, Abba, Banner, Creator, You are more Marvelous than our words can ever express. Thank You for Your Son. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit. Thank You for Your Word. We repent for making everything about ourselves. We repent for not having genuine concern for others. We repent for not speaking with integrity. We repent for no thinking our conduct really matters. Make within us a clean heart. We choose a life of surrender, so that we choose to do things Your way and not our way. Let us walk in the Spirit and do as the Spirit leads. Let us be genuine in our faith and in our love. Let us be known for our lives that point back to why Your Son came to redeem us. Let us live lives changed for Your Glory. We choose forgiveness today. We choose love today. We choose hope today. We choose faith today. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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Stumps don’t bear fruit

Psalms 1:3 (AMP) And he will be like a tree firmly planted [and fed] by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season; Its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers [and comes to maturity].

I was in prayer the other day and was sitting with something that I had read in a book recently. The author was talking about how sometimes that we go through times in our lives and we feel like a stump. We were once a beautiful tree and now we have been cut down through the storms of life. The question was asked if we could ever bear fruit again. The answer was as long as we have roots we can still grow. Then the thought came to me that people often identify as stumps and stay there. So that is where I started to intercede.

Matthew 17:16-20 (AMP) By their fruit you will recognize them [that is, by their contrived doctrine and self-focus]. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the unhealthy tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore, by their fruit you will recognize them [as false prophets].

Why would I want to identify with something that cannot bear good fruit? I say this because I have made statements of “feeling like a stump” or “I am broken.” We can say that God allowed us to do what was wrong to get us to the place He called us to be. Why do we say things that contradict His Word? Job did it. He said it was better to have never been born so that He would not have to go through the affliction. How many of us have said we are biding our time waiting for heaven? How about us just doing a little sin, because it’s not hurting anyone?

Where is the deception? It all surrounded a tree. Genesis 2:15-17 (AMP) So the Lord God took the man [He had made] and settled him in the Garden of Eden to cultivate and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may freely (unconditionally) eat [the fruit] from every tree of the garden; but [only] from the tree of the knowledge (recognition) of good and evil you shall not eat, otherwise on the day that you eat from it, you shall most certainly die [because of your disobedience].” God gave us purpose from the beginning. It is up to us to cultivate and keep it. Here God is literally talking about trees. Cultivating was mankind’s job. We could touch the trees, and eat of all trees…but one.

Genesis 3:1-3 (AMP) Now the serpent was more crafty (subtle, skilled in deceit) than any living creature of the field which the Lord God had made. And the serpent (Satan) said to the woman, “Can it really be that God has said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees of the garden, except the fruit from the tree which is in the middle of the garden. God said, ‘You shall not eat from it nor touch it, otherwise you will die.’”

God never said that they could not touch it. How often do we misinterpret what God says? Who was suppose to clarify the Word of the Lord? Adam. Did He take his rightful place? Nope. He was given a task to cultivate and to keep, just as we are. What are we suppose to cultivate and keep?

God gave Adam a commandment in the garden, we also have commandments we are suppose to be keeping. Mark 12:30-31 (AMP) and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul (life), and with all your mind (thought, understanding), and with all your strength.’ This is the second: ‘You shall [unselfishly] love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” John 13:34 (AMP) I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too are to love one another.

Love is going to bear fruit. What fruit is is going to bear? Galatians 5:22-23 (AMP)  But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Now if I am identifying as a stump, then the focus has become on getting me. A place that I can grow and bear fruit. However, if I am remaining to be a stump, then I have made an excuse to not be fruitful. I have dug in my feet to not grow and I have made an excuse. However, we could NOT say that is where God would want me to be. Why? It contradicts His Word on where good fruit comes from. To say such would be to identify with the bad fruit (look back at Matthew 17:16-20). We have done just like Eve and misinterpreted God. Now we have opened up the door to the enemy for deception.

How can we correct such a thing? Get into a church that is going to teach the Word and point you to Christ. Submit yourself to spiritual authority as ordained by Christ in Ephesians 4:10-11. Get into relationships that challenge your view and will bring you back to the Word of God. We have too long tolerated warped interpretations in order to be accepting of others, especially when it comes to the character and nature of God. God does not need us to defend Him. He does need us to be bold and intercede. If you cannot walk along someone to disciple them, then you do not need to correct them. You are still instructed to intercede for them.

John 15:1-2 (AMP) I am the true Vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that continues to bear fruit, He [repeatedly] prunes, so that it will bear more fruit [even richer and finer fruit].

He prunes, not cuts away, so that we may bear fruit. Stop identifying with the cut off parts. Stop identifying with the things put in darkness. He says He dispels darkness. He is the Light, and if we are in Him, then we are empowered by the Light. We have identified with things that do not line up with the Truth of His Word. Like Eve, we misinterpreted it and opened ourselves up for deception. I am not a stump. I am a tree planted by the Living Water. I am rooted and grounded in His Love. I bear good fruit!

Elohim, our Creator, we honor You with a prayer of thanksgiving. We see the importance of why You sent Your Son. The first sin had to do with a tree and the Restorer had to be hung on one. We know that He completed the work on the cross. We know that He rose from the grave and now resides at Your right hand ever interceding for us. Thank You for the gift of the Holy Spirit. Even though the Light of the World does not reside here with us, His power resides in us through the Holy Spirit. We repent for identifying with anything that does not bear fruit nor brings light. We are sorry for the pity parties we through for ourselves and invite others to. We should be celebrating Your Kingdom. Thank You for forgiving us in our moments. Thank You for not wanting us to stay there. We choose joy today. We choose love today. We choose forgiveness today. We choose hope today. In Jesus Name, Amen.