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A vow from rejection

Ephesians 4:2-3 (AMP) With all humility [forsaking self-righteousness], and gentleness [maintaining self-control], with patience, bearing with one another in [unselfish] love. Make every effort to keep the oneness of the Spirit in the bond of peace [each individual working together to make the whole successful].

We are in the middle of what we call “Holy Week.” This is the week we are reflecting on the death and resurrection of Jesus. Jesus came to give us restoration. He restored our relationship with the Father, but He also restored us to peace, to fullness and to wholeness. He restored us to Kingdom purpose. So why are we still looking at each other as broken and ready to hurt each other?

We have turned the thoughts that “not everyone will understand us” into “not everyone is for you.” It is okay when others will not understand us, but when not everyone is for us, then we have an enemy. Why? Our thoughts are now they are out for our harm. I have a question. Does the thought that not everyone is for you bring you peace? Does it bring you the desire to seek restoration? Does it bring you the desire to seek unity? Then can we say, does that match the character and nature of God?

Romans 12:14-18 (AMP) Bless those who persecute you [who cause you harm or hardship]; bless and do not curse [them]. Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others’ joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others’ grief]. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty [conceited, self-important, exclusive], but associate with humble people [those with a realistic self-view]. Do not overestimate yourself. Never repay anyone evil for evil. Take thought for what is right and gracious and proper in the sight of everyone. If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

I know that when I have thoughts that someone meant to harm me, or they were hoping that I would fail, it does not bring me peace. It brings me anger. It brings hurt. It brings in comparison. It brings the feeling of being unloved. So why is it okay for us to say “not everyone is for us.” The enemy, the devil, is not for us. However, we do not fight against, nor struggle against, flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12).

What if what they said hurt my feelings? What if they did not help me succeed?

I just did a online fundraiser to raise funds for our youth at attend summer camp. I needed to raise $500 for the deposit. We raised $100 of it through them. There was also the option to donate without purchasing the product. We raised another $100 that way. What would your thoughts be if you started seeing people on your feed using the same source (setting up their own fundraisers), but they did not give into yours? It is not for the same cause. What do we do? They did not give into mine, so I am not going to give into theirs? What about when those that you thought would support you, don’t?

How about this real life scenario? I had planned to have my 18th birthday party at my grandmother’s pool. I had also invited a bunch of people. Another girl, in the same grade, had one a few weeks before and lots of people were just having a blast. My party came up and just one of my friends showed up. When I was much younger, this pool was the hangout spot for all the neighborhood kids. You could find my friends and I there just having a blast. Now flash forward to my 40th birthday and it is during the COVID lock down. My family decides to throw a surprise let’s have a car parade party. Sounds fun? Let me tell you it was awkward when not many cars show up. However, I did have more than one friend show up this time.

What does all this have to do with the idea of not everyone is for you? The root of it is rejection. This is the vow we have used to protect our hearts. Will it bring peace? Jesus was sitting at a table knowing that very evening that one of his close friends would betray Him. He still fed Him. He did not tell the others and point him out as “not for us.” He loved him. Jesus said, “So then, in everything treat others the same way you want them to treat you, for this is [the essence of] the Law and the [writings of the] Prophets (Matthew 7:12).” Who is He talking to? Us. The nature of man is to do the opposite. We want to treat others on how they treat us. When Jesus tells us to treat others the way we want to be treated.

My verse at the beginning is a continuation of a thought by Paul. He starts off with: So I, the prisoner for the Lord, appeal to you to live a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called [that is, to live a life that exhibits godly character, moral courage, personal integrity, and mature behavior—a life that expresses gratitude to God for your salvation]”… In the Modern English Version, Ephesians 4:1 states, “walk in a manner worthy of the calling you were called.” What am a I called to? The ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:10-21). As I mature as a believer, my focus is on reconciliation, not who showed up for me. Have I had moments of immaturity? Yes. By the world’s definition was I right? Yes. However, if I follow the example of the Word I am not. I have had to die to that part of myself. It has been one of the hardest things to do. What does it cost? My pride. What do I gain? Peace. Those vows only bring bondage and I would rather live free.

Father, You are all I desire, not for what You can do for me but for who You are. I thank You for sending Your Son to be the Prince of Peace, He is the ultimate example of what it is to serve and love unselfishly. I repent for coming short in areas, when I wanted to live for me. I repent for getting mad and holding people hostage for them not showing up for me. I desire to live a life worthy of the call of restoration. I desire to live a life of Your character, Your integrity and to grow into the maturity of Your Kingdom. I thank You that Your Word has been written on the palms of my hands, it has been inscribed on my forehead and it pours out of my mouth. I thank You that it is for the purpose of reconciliation, so that I focus on Your truth. I take captive every thought, imagination or argument that I have had to bring division to my calling. I choose love today. I choose forgiveness today. I choose hope today. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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Baggage Claim

Galatians 5:1 (NIV) It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

It has been a few years since I have flown and will be boarding a plane this week to attend Icing in Dallas, TX. I am both nervous and excited. Excited to see a friend and spend a few days with her, nervous about the meet and greet part. As I have said before, I am a recovering extreme introvert. I still get overwhelmed when walking into a room with a bunch of people. For example, a couple of years ago I walked in late for a birthday party for one of my friends and the entire rooms attention got brought on me. My reaction was to go in (with my head down to not make eye contact with anyone) and tell her happy birthday, then I quickly made my exit.

Back to the point of this blog…when I started flying you could check one bag with the cost of your ticket at no additional charge. Now you can check a bag your first bag for $30 and an additional charge for anymore. Or the other option is carry on. Which means you have to keep up with it before your flight. Carry it as your find your seat. Find a place for it during your flight. Carry it as you disembark the plane. We have done pretty good at masking our emotional baggage, by checking it. When we are triggered is when it shows up again.

I fully believe in getting to the root issues of areas. Like why rejection keeps attaching itself to me. There is a root there. It does not belong there. I have to do the work to remove it, but not without the help of the Holy Spirit. Unpacking the baggage of rejection, betrayal, hurts, disappointments is like checking your baggage at the gate. You can walk around freely and not have to worry about until the end of the flight. Just because you checked it somewhere, does not mean it is gone. When it shows up, the weight of it tries to know us down. So here we are at baggage claim to get to the root once again, because even though it is not carry on, we still need to deal with the root issues.  Can I help you with it?

Unforgiveness:

  • Unforgiveness because of unfilled expectations. The participation trophy. I was not recognized because I showed up.
  • Unforgiveness because of untreated pain. Trying to act like it never hurt in the first place. You ever stumped your toe in public and played off like that did not hurt!
  • Unforgiveness because of unsolved conflicts. Unresolved conflicts can turn into resentment. Resentment can turn into bitterness.
  • Unforgiveness because of an unhealthy view of ourselves. You think everyone’s thinking about you…they aren’t thinking about you.

Matthew 6: 7-15 (AMP) “And when you pray, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.  So do not be like them [praying as they do]; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. ‘Pray, then, in this way: ‘Our Father, who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. ‘Your kingdom come, Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. ‘And forgive us our debts, as we have forgiven our debtors [letting go of both the wrong and the resentment].
‘And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.]’  For if you forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others [nurturing your hurt and anger with the result that it interferes with your relationship with God], then your Father will not forgive your trespasses.“

I do believe we are responsible for dealing with our baggage and unforgiveness. I do believe our lives can be miserable because of our choices. You and I can walk around with weights that slow us or stop us from walking in the life that God intended for us. That is why I chose this verse to focus on today: Galatians 5:1 (NIV) It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Freedom is what God intends for you. If baggage is in our life, let’s identify it, then allow the Holy Spirit to help you get rid of it. A pastor, therapist, life coach, mentor, are all very helpful to lead you through the unpacking of baggage. Make sure they are filled with the Word and have a relationship with the Holy Spirit, if not, the humanistic approach is to put the problem in people. Even the issues that happened in my childhood are not to be blamed on people. I have to forgive, not to be abused again, but forgive, love and grow. I am no longer burdened by my past, I am free! I want that for you too.

Father, I thank you for each and every person that is reading this today. I thank you that you desire us to be rooted and grounded in the love of your Son (Eph. 3:16-19). We are choosing right now to throw off these weights that have kept us from walking in the fullness of that love. We ask the Holy Spirit for the help with the unforgiveness in our hearts and minds. We know to forget is not necessarily not remember, it is the act of not letting it affect the outcome. Our past hurts and the baggage we allowed can no longer affect the outcome of our lives. We are free in you and cast that yoke of bondage away. In Jesus Name we pray, Amen.