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Two Forty Somethings at Disney

Malachi 2:15 (MSG) God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you.

Every year my husband and I do a message called “Love Sunday.” This year the message will take place on Sunday, February 13th. It is something we started when Valentine’s Day fell on a Sunday, once we became lead pastors, and we have continued it ever since. In preparation, I usually spend a month before studying and getting as much material together as possible. We do not just need to teach this, we need to be doers (as we have), but we needed to step it up a notch.

This year my husband and I will be married twenty two years. That is a long time for some. To me, it is just the beginning. My grandparents were married for over sixty years before they passed away. One thing I remember about them, even after the kids had grown up and left, was they sat down together for breakfast every morning. When I was a little girl, I remember my grandfather would come in from working third shift at the mill (he worked in the boiler room); my sisters, and sometimes along with our cousins, would have stayed the night with our grandmother. I would be the first up and join them at the table for coffee and reading the paper (they gave me the comics section). I noticed that my grandmother would not just fix him something to eat, she would sit down and join him at the table. They continued this even when he retired.

When was the last time you just spent time with your spouse? My husband and I got to do just that this past week. We were scheduled to take a cruise to the West Caribbean. This trip was originally planned for May of 2020, to celebrate our twentieth anniversary. As we all know, Covid detoured that. We rescheduled it for Spring of 2021, but the cruise industry still had not started back up again. We scheduled it again for this month. Covid stopped us again and we decided to take that money and just drive down to Orlando, Florida. My husband and I went to Disney World without our teenage boys. We called on my mom to be with them at night and left those boys at home. My husband had already taken the time off, so we were not going to stop our time alone again.

We had the most fun! Disney as an a grown couple, without kids, is quite an experience. We got to act like we were goofy teenagers again. Considering we started dating when I was fifteen and he was eighteen, this was like an old hat. We rode all the different rides. We got to experience new things. We flirted with each other. We got to spend every moment together from sun up, to sun down, for seven whole nights!!

Why was this important? The Word tells us to “guard the spirit of marriage within you.” Part of guarding something means that you need to make sure it is strong. Nothing will come between you. You will protect it.You honor it. You will not do any of those things if you do not see value in your marriage. You guard something that you value.

“God, not man, made marriage. His spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage…” Invite the Holy Spirit into your marriage. Invite Him into the smallest details. What details do you need to give Him access to?

Jesus tells us in Matthew 19:12 (MSG) “But if you are capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.” God is in the small details. Marriage is a relationship that Jesus compared His love for the Body of Christ to. Do you not think it is special to Him? Treat it as such.

Today I encourage you to do something to strengthen your marriage. If you cannot do a week away, try to plan an over night activity. If you usually do not sit down together for a meal at home, may I encourage you to start there. Play a game together. Read a book together. Cook a meal together. Grow into the largeness of your marriage!

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Who does not like gifts?

Matthew 7:11 (AMP) If you then, evil (sinful by nature) as you are, know how to give good and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven [perfect as He is] give what is good and advantageous to those who keep on asking Him.

We are coming up on what my husband likes to coin the “trifecta.” In May is my birthday, anniversary and Mother’s Day. Each of these days are less than a week from each other. Some years Mother’s Day and my birthday will even fall on the same day, and just a few days after that is our anniversary. This time of the year use to stress my husband out for getting gifts, but do you know that he has learned, to not just gift me on these days. He gifts me just because.

There is a book by Gary Chapman called God Speaks You Love Language (How to experience and express God’s love). If you have never heard of love languages there are five main love languages, and one of them is what you mainly speak. They are words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch. My love languages that fills me up are words of affirmation, second gifts and then acts of service. My husband’s are quality time, physical touch and gifts. I have learned to speak his love language and he has learned to speak mine.

When we look at the above verse, then look through it the eyes of God speaking your love language, what can you see in your life? Do you see how God shows His love to you in personal ways? I do. I was crying in disappointment for something that I was preparing for. We are doing everything right to get our church in the place it needed to go. We are speaking the vision. We have had our eyes on a piece of property for a year. We are working on saving up to purchase it debt free. We, in the natural, were nowhere close. However, I serve a God of the supernatural. We found out that the land was gifted to a mega church in our area. It was disheartening. Just as I was weeping in grief, a friend, who I had not heard from in a long time sent me a text, “I was just thinking about your beautiful face…” I have had messages from complete strangers to encourage me not to give up hope. These are the moments that God shows up. I knew that He had something better in mind. He is the God that sees.

I want to encourage you today to look at the different ways God shows you His love. Then I want to challenge you to show God your love for Him. Pick one of these areas: acts of service, quality time, gifts, words of affirmation and/or physical touch. You might say that you already show God love on a daily basis. Then can I challenge you one more time? Show love to someone that you do not usually show love to. Pick one of these love languages to show love to a stranger, a co-worker, your neighbor, your pastor or someone that knocks the rough edges off of you (Paul called him a thorn in his side).

Can I be honest? The love language I struggle giving to those that are not in my family, is physical touch. I can give gifts, serve others, spend time with others, and speak positive words of encouragement to people (right now I am working on jewelry to give to all the women who attend church on Mother’s Day for the message that I am preparing, while serving that day in my usual roles). When I do hug someone, usually they initiate the hug first. I have no idea why, I am not alone in this, and it does not mean we do not walk in love. That does not mean that if it is your love language, physical touch, that I will not refuse to speak it. Why? It is not love when we refuse to try to speak someone else’s love language. We should look at it as a growth opportunity, an offering to the God that we love.

I hope you will take me up on the challenge to look for all the ways God loves you. That you will speak a language of love back to Him. Also, that you will love His creation, those that were created in His image, by being more intentional with speaking these love languages. Have a blessed day!